Gut Rumbles

June 04, 2006

random observations

* You may have to produce a photo ID to purchase Sudafed in a drug store anymore, but you don't need ID papers to vote. I'm confused by that idea, but obviously I mistook her true meaning, even if her words are on tape. Ya see... she never said that... and if she DID, the tape simply distorts her true meaning, which was... I dunno... something other than what she actually said.

* I read about this story yesterday and immediately searched a few leftoid blogs to see what THEY had to say about it. They said NOTHING, of course, because it doesn't fit their "Blame Bush For Everything" agenda. And we don't really face any terrorist threats anyway. 9/11 and the collapse of the World Trade Center was an elaborate hoax. It NEVER HAPPENED!!! What we REALLY have to fear is Bush. Bejus. Read this and realize exactly who WANTS us to lose the war that ain't really a war.

* Roger Ebert is a dickhead. I love his review of An Inconvienent Truth," a movie tailor-made for his kind.

I want to write this review so every reader will begin it and finish it. I am a liberal, but I do not intend this as a review reflecting any kind of politics. It reflects the truth as I understand it, and it represents, I believe, agreement among the world's experts.

Global warming is real.

It is caused by human activity.

Yep. And I believe that the artificial butter-flavored substitute poured on movie-theater popcorn kills massive numbers of brain cells, too, as well as destroying delicate rain-forests and turning strange-looking dipwits into scientists. Read this statement carefully. It's how Roger "understands" things.

Gore says that although there is "100 percent agreement" among scientists, a database search of newspaper and magazine articles shows that 57 percent question the fact of global warming, while 43 percent support it. These figures are the result, he says, of a disinformation campaign started in the 1990s by the energy industries to "reposition global warming as a debate." It is the same strategy used for years by the defenders of tobacco. My father was a Luckys smoker who died of lung cancer in 1960, and 20 years later it was still "debatable" that there was a link between smoking and lung cancer. (In 1980? Really???--ed.) Now we are talking about the death of the future, starting in the lives of those now living.

Lemme get this straight. "Scientists," including such reknowned experts as dermatolgists, herbalists, Tarot-card readers and movie-reviewers are in "100% agreement" about human-induced Global Warming being a fact, except for the 57% who don't agree. And the people who say that man-made Global Warming is a steaming crock of absolute bullshit are responsible for causing cancer deaths by Lucky Strike cigarettes, which is what killed Roger's father, which proves how evil ALL wetland-draining, suntan-getting, gas-guzzling, SUV-driving, CO2-spewing, ignorant drones that people are, ...or something like that. The connection is obvious to anyone who makes a living by sitting in air-conditioned movie theaters and eating grease-encrusted, butter-flavored popcorn. Just dayum. It's tough to argue with that kind of thinking. In fact, you CAN'T. That's a lot like arguing with an unplugged refrigerator and believing that the meat inside spoiled because of climate change instead of a lack of electricity. Chalk up another victory for science when Roger climbs on board the GW bandwagon. (It's just unfortunate that Roger's father didn't die before he produced a blithering idiot for a son.)

* Illegal invaders "border-crossers" want only a chance to better themselves, nothing more. We should ignore them streaming over our southern border like a swarm of cucarachas unless they do something a lot worse than merely invading this country. When they start blinding pet dogs in their quest for a chance at a better life, where they can refuse to speak English, breed like flies on cow-turds, collect welfare checks, vote in American elections with no ID and drive like maniacs with no driver's license and no auto insurance, it's time to draw the line. Invading this country illegally and scoffing at our laws is one thing--- hell, our got-dam politicians do similar things--- but blinding pet dogs???. THAT'S intolerable!

* A skinny, wimp-looking moonbat IS a special forces soldier if he CLAIMS to be one, especially when he doesn't like the military or the war in Iraq. Leftoids LOVED that guy, and they sucked up every word he had to say like warm milk from Mama's tit--- until he was exposed as a total fraud--- but that doesn't mean that he wasn't absolutely correct in everything he said about the military.

* I saw the sun rise in the WEST this morning. Honest. I really DID! And the sun was trailing a big banner behind it that said, "BUSH LIED!!! Brought to you by the thousands of innocent American citizens currently rotting in the Guantanamo Bay gulag today, without being charged with any crime and without access to a lawyer." I wouldn't lie to you about something like THAT!

Oh--- before I forget. Remember the post I wrote about dropping a full ashtray behind my bass guitar amp and spilling cigarette butts and ashes all over my floor yesterday? Well, I looked behind my amp this morning and the carpet is as clean as a mound of freshly-fallen snow. No spilled ashtray. No cigarette butts or ashes. No mess AT ALL.

See? It never happened... because it just didn't fit with what I want this world to be like. And if I WISH hard enough, I can make my fantasies become real. Or close enough that I can comfortably ignore things that I don't want to see.

Try it! It works!


Cigarette butts stink.

Posted by: MM on June 4, 2006 01:40 PM

I had to laugh at this in the article:

"Officers later found two loaded handguns taped to Dirie's inner thighs ó a Millennium PT 19mm and a .380 Calibre Jennings."

A 19mm gun?
Dirie must have some awfully big thighs...

Posted by: BobG on June 4, 2006 01:45 PM

Water hose worked cleaning that mess up, huh?

Posted by: GUYK on June 4, 2006 03:10 PM

Some places in coastal Georgia you have to show a picture ID to purchase smokes.

Posted by: Catfish on June 4, 2006 03:22 PM

That's right, Cat. I got carded at a local Iranian-operated Speed-Mart when I bought a carton of Marlboros the other day.

Don't don't think the guy behind the counter could READ, but he damn sure checked my ID.

Posted by: Acidman on June 4, 2006 04:10 PM

I'm 46, my husband is 62, and last year at Fenway Park we BOTH had to show a PHOTO ID to purchase a cup of beer, they have a rule @ Fenway, "Everyone gets carded, no exceptions" (guess it doesnt matter HOW old you are, if you cant produce a photo id, you dont get served) But it does make one feel foolish (at my age) to cough up a photo id for beer!

Posted by: Ruth on June 4, 2006 05:44 PM

We had to lose Siskel and keep that fat asstard Ebert. Maybe it's true the good die young. Prolly means I'm gonna live to be 120. Shit, I better start taking better care of myself.

Posted by: og on June 4, 2006 10:23 PM

BOBG is right. 19mm would be a little bigger than a 12 gauge. I wonder if it was chambered for a 3" magnum?

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on June 5, 2006 06:28 AM
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