Gut Rumbles

May 31, 2006


I rode with Recondo 32 from Tacoma, Washington all the way to Bluffton, South Carolina and I was in charge of the map the entire way. Recondo 32 drove the Shelby Mustang "Snake," and I navigated.

The rule when we started the trip was... "NO FUCKING INTERSTATES!!! We stay on the BACK ROADS!!! But...uh... try to find some decent back roads. Look for the...uh.. BIG RED lines on the map."

That "big red line" thing was no eye-crosser once we rumbled through Washington state on Highway 2. (The Cascades are beautiful.) After we crossed the Idaho panhandle and entered Montana, those big red lines were NO PROBLEM to follow, because there ain't that many of them in Montana.

Even at an average speed of 65 MPH, including the slowdowns for small towns (Pop. 28), where Recondo 32 obeyed the ridiculous speeed limits, we still took TWO DAYS to drive all the way across that state. It's BIG, people. And it's awesome to behold, too.

Once we hit America's breadbasket (Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, Illinios, and Indiana) the big red lines on the map were EASY to read, because those states are laid out in straight lines and boxes, so that you KNOW when you're headed east. You can't SEE a got-dam thing except corn-fields, but at least you know that you're headed in the right direction.

I was an EXCELLENT navigator until we spent the night in Lexington, Kentucky. I somehow managed to lose the MAP, but I, by-Gawd, KNEW where we were by then, so we didn't NEED no stinkin' map to get back home.

That's how we ended up in West Virginia, but I don't want to talk about that...

I'm pretty good with a map, and I navigated us through West Virginia and right into Lewellen, Kentucky, the site of the coal mining camp where I was raised. Wasn't much there to see, so we rumbled off to North Carolina, where we spent the night in a motel that was hosting a "Classic Car Show."

Bejus! Recondo and I spoiled some of those fully restored old Bentleys and Reos by slobbering all over them as if they were nekkid wimmen. I saw an absolutely GORGEOUS 1957 Chevrolet Bel-Air and I think I soiled my pants. I tried to talk Recondo into stealing it, but he wouldn't help me, the pussy.

THAT was a damn good-looking car... and so were the rest of them (almost 100 CLASSICS), but I digress...I'm just tryin' to give you a picture of what kind of adventures you probably WILL have on a trip like that one.

If YOU want to do it, let me know. I'm a damn good navigator.


I was just day dreaming last night. About going on a cross country trip in my original 1929 Chevrolet. Sure would be fun driving all the back roads like you guys did.
Hopefully I will be able to do it. Before we run out of real gas, real English speaking America or some laws are passed not allowing it......

Posted by: Captain Harley on June 1, 2006 03:11 AM

You'd be damned good company as well, and that's a fact.

Posted by: Jim - PRS on June 1, 2006 04:12 AM

I had hoped to take that road trip with my pops before his liver cancer kept him permanently homebound. He's gone, but the car we were fixing up remains. I just need to get home from Japan and finish the repairs, and I'll take that trip myself. Of course, it won't hurt if gas prices go down; '68 Toronados burn gas like F-4 Phantoms.

Posted by: Russ on June 1, 2006 08:45 AM

Oh, I LOVE backroading trips but I always want to be the navigator. I inherited a fab sense of direction from my Dad and I LOVE maps. I collect them.

Back when gas was 25 cents a gallon we used to go riding in the back country of New England trying real hard to get lost and then find our way out again. Ended up on a rutty discontinued road once in a while but what fun... especially in the convertible.

Posted by: Libby on June 1, 2006 09:01 AM

Where were you when i needed ya back in april :-P ...... turned around in the kentucky back country is interesting late at night.

Posted by: Heath on June 1, 2006 06:02 PM
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