Gut Rumbles

May 26, 2006

dry as a popcorn fart

My friend catfish dropped by the Crackerbox to pay me a visit yesterday. I think a lot of people have been emailing and calling him, requesting that he check up on me to verify that I was still breathing. Well, he DID and I AM, so y'all quit bugging him now.

Cat wanted a few green tomatoes for some kind of pickled concoction that he and Nancy intended to make, so we went out to my garden to pick some. Bejus! That was a heart-breaking experience.

Being somewhat sickly of late, I haven't been back there in damn near a week. During that time, we've had 90+ degree temperatures every day and nary a drop of rain. My "garden" now looks like a parched, arid desert, dry as dust. Even the damned WEEDS are wilting.

We picked a few tomatoes and I turned on the sprinkler, but it may be too late to save some of the plants. I think a lot of 'em baked to death while I was laid up. I shouldn't be surprised. Even the grass in my yard is turning brown and it crunches when you walk on it. We're having a serious spring drought--- as bad as any I can remember here in southeast Georgia.

It really IS as dry as a popcorn fart. I should be able to salvage SOME of what I planted (I still have a lot of tomatoes, although they appear to have gone on a growth-strike), but it's looking kinda bad out there now. I'm gonna have to pour the water to it and hope for the best.

I blame Global Warming.


I'm no farmer, but those %$#*ing RATS will do a number on your tomatoes, especially when you are a week, or so, from picking.

I have no advice, other than standing guard with a pellet gun.

Posted by: dc on May 26, 2006 04:01 PM

If you're blaming global warming, just call Al Gore...he's getting paid big bucks thanks to his new movie to promote that theory.

Leave me and my SUV won't get no sympathy here.

Posted by: Maggie on May 26, 2006 05:02 PM

You wanna see dry?? Come to the Texas Panhandle. It's so dry I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Posted by: Davidb on May 26, 2006 05:37 PM

It's so dry here in the Florida Panhandle I had to sprinkle the weeds so the stalks rubbing together quit trying to do the Boy Scout thing and ignite.
It's so dry the palmetto bugs line up at the outside spigot waiting for drips.
It's so dry I had to spray paint the lawn green.
It's so dry the driveway rocks began to...urrrrkkk!
(long hooked pole extends from backstage & drags Horrabin off to be shot)

Posted by: Horrabin on May 27, 2006 02:29 AM

It's nice and moist up here; I wish I could send you some of our nice rain - everything is just bursting here with the nice spring rains we've had of late. Hope your plants survive...

Posted by: Lisa W. on May 27, 2006 06:57 AM

Dry as a popcorn fart huh? Do they smell like melted butter?

Posted by: Winkler on July 7, 2006 01:49 PM
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