Gut Rumbles

May 24, 2006

hold on tight!!!

I was so sick a couple of times lately that I thought, "I'M GONNA DIE!!!" Then, I thought..."So WHAT?" That thought didn't bother me AT ALL. I kinda wanna see what's on "the other side," if there's anything there to see.

When that feeling of impending doom grabbed me by the throat the FIRST TIME (I fell out of a tree from about 20' up, hit the ground flat on my back and saw all of my "friends" running away), death TRIED to shake me, and I WAS afraid. I was eight years old when I first felt that cold hand trying to wrap around my throat. I've become accustomed to it since then. And it doesn't frighten me anymore.

I remember going to Aunt Chassies's farm, WAY back in the Kentucky mountains when I was young. We youngun's all piled into the beds of a couple of pickup trucks and we were told to HOLD ON TIGHT, because if you fell out, NOBODY was coming back to pick your sorry ass up.

This was a NO PUSSY BRIDGES kinda trip. The trucks either made it across the creeks in a rooster-tail of spray, or they DIDN'T. And GAWD HELP YOU if you got stuck, because you either made it out by yourself, or you had to unload your young'uns, make 'em walk barefoot through the creek, while somebody ELSE with a come-a-long made a BACKTRACK to pull your ass out. And you were the butt of every joke around the supper table that evening.

That kinda discipline would be called CHILD ABUSE today, if some asshole shrink from Naw Yawk who never pissed in the bushes had HER way. That was ADVENTURE to me. Lemme tell you what that experience taught me!

Hold on tight.

That was NOT a bad lesson. It has served me well through a LOT MORE than crossing creeks on a prayer, being treed by a bull, being attacked by a mad rooster in the henhouse, or being scratched by a cat that didn't want any petting. I learned to HOLD ON TIGHT!!!

I've done stupid things on a farm. I've done stupid things in my life. Still... I believe that LIFE is like living on a farm. You reap what you sow, but sometimes.... you've just gotta challenge that mean-ass bull. And you've just GOTTA cross that creek.

But WHEN YOU DO... be ready to hold on tight. And don't bitch when the bull throws you and gores you. And if your truck gets stuck in the creek, don't blame Bejus because YOU don't know how to drive.

THINK about it. YOU asked for it.


The last time I flat lined I did not see any light, heard no angels singing or nothing. I have been dead twice in my life and came back from the dead, no lights or anything. I guess I was lucky, who the fuck knows? Naybe if I would have passed, I would not be having all these pains now. Who knows and who the fuck cares?

Posted by: Catfish on May 24, 2006 11:07 PM

Well... me, for one.
I'm glad you're both still around.

Posted by: Stevie on May 24, 2006 11:21 PM

Ditto for me Stevie.

Posted by: Lisa on May 24, 2006 11:35 PM

There is LOTS of things to see on the other side Rob.

Posted by: Maeve on May 24, 2006 11:46 PM

Now you are talking like a man! Die? Who

gives a damn. People die every day.

Posted by: TomCat on May 25, 2006 05:55 AM

that's strange ... i fell out of a tree too ... i was sloshed on an eighth of jack daniels (about 15 years ago) and me and my friends went to play hide 'n go seek in a creepy old cemetery in flatbush ... there was this really awesome, knotty, bulbous tree and i figured if i climbed it no one would find me there ... sure enough, no one did, and when they finally gave up and i told them where i was, they looked about 10 feet up at me sitting on a branch and were like "great sherman, now how in hell are we ever gonna get you down from there?!"
i ended up jumping down and landed on my back on a marble tombstone (the kind that lay flat in the ground like plaques, not the upright ones) ... if i wasnn't bombed out of my mind, you could just imagine how it would've hurt ... but when the booze wore off, i couldn't walk for a week after that.
yet, i have to admit, i am still a little scared to die.

Posted by: erica on May 25, 2006 09:35 AM

Fell out of a tree at 7, with a scar to prove it. Out cold for hours several times, once for 6 days. Stopped breathing once, got mouth to mouth, and I'm still here. Ain't scared of something that is 100% sure to happen.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on May 27, 2006 08:31 AM
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