Gut Rumbles

April 17, 2006


Some people have waaaay too much time on their hands. If they can invent idiotic names such as these for their newborns, they need to get a hobby, preferably one that doesn't involve naming ANYTHING.

Bejus! These must be the rules they follow.

Cute. (1) contrived. (2) Got the i to do the smiley-face, heart and star dots over. (3) threw in a y.

Don't forget the apostrophe and the capital letter in the middle of the name. That's really cool, too! But I have to agree with this question.

What the hell is an "Araceli?"


I think araceli is a type of pasta.

Posted by: Sigivald on April 17, 2006 02:08 PM

If you want a good laugh, pick up any Sunday paper in any town and read the birth pages. These people name there kids with the shitiest names that could be found. Most of these kids will hate their parents for naming them these fucked up names. The kids will be 10 years old and still won't be able to spell it. Man how times have changed.

Posted by: Catfish on April 17, 2006 02:12 PM

I HATE it when I get some funky name like that in my work... the doctor spends about thirty seconds (in which I am not typing and therefore losing $$$) trying to pronounce it and usually muttering some obscenity which AGAIN I cannot type. Or I have to try and find a patient with such a name, and it's hell. I'm so glad they haven't started "customizing" last names in such a fashion - if I start seeing Gyohnz instead of Jones I may lose my mind.

Posted by: Cythen on April 17, 2006 02:23 PM

Araceli is a relatively common female Hispanic (at least Mexican) first name. It's not new at all.

Posted by: Patty on April 17, 2006 02:27 PM

To carry this topic out to the nth degree, check out this website:

Posted by: RubyTuesday on April 17, 2006 02:46 PM

One more for you. Nicholas age recently named his new son:

Kal-El Coppola Cage

I shit you not. I hope that kid really is Superman. He'll need to be when he gets to school.

Posted by: Russ on April 17, 2006 03:39 PM

God I hated my name growing up. It was tough being a Libby in world of Mary and Janes. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that jingle for the food company, I'd be a rich woman today. I gave my kid a very ordinary name.

Posted by: Libby on April 17, 2006 04:10 PM

Oh jeez. I just found this on the Doonesbury site.

"Everyone I know with an unusual name loves it. It's only the losers named Dave that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think. They're named Dave."

-- Penn Jillette, whose daughter is named Moxie CrimeFighter

Posted by: Libby on April 17, 2006 04:30 PM

hmmm..... I know a couple who named their first daughter....Bambi..... how sad is that?

Posted by: Jean on April 17, 2006 07:14 PM

One of the best parts of working with names for various types of records are the weird names. For instance, "Rotunda" isn't, "Lasagna" wasn't too noodly, and the most I have ever seen so far is three apostrophes in one name. However, for sheer amusement's sake, "Pornpater Likkansompbutt" takes the prize, hands down.

Posted by: Candy on April 17, 2006 09:31 PM

You can be truly cruel to your children with perfectly ordinary names, too. For example, I happened to get some paperwork in my office for the wife of a name named Donald Dick.

Posted by: Samira on April 17, 2006 10:30 PM

Er, a MAN named Donald Dick. I swear, I know how to type.

I've also seen my share of cruel and unusual names with impossible spellings. Or all the cutesy alternate spellings...I've seen more than ten ways to spell Megan now.

Posted by: Samira on April 17, 2006 10:31 PM

When I first visited the US back in the 80's, the first people I came across (who were not Customs officials) had names like "Chip", "Bucky", "Junior" and "JB".
I was dreading the first person I came across introduced as "Fido" or "Rover", because I was going to cause serious insult by LOL in their face.

Fortunately, after a few days (and travelling to Texas from CA) I found out that most Americans DO have regular names.

Looks like that is changing in a certain demographic, however.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 17, 2006 11:30 PM

These kiddletts need to do a bit more planing for their childs future! BEFORE hanging some farking messed up spelling impossible to pronounce name.

MARY's will get hired before any of them.

So will Dave's!

Libby is cute! I mean if you have libby libby libby on your Serta serta serta!!! ?? !! :):) All has got be well don't it?

Posted by: TC on April 18, 2006 02:54 AM

That's cool.....why, just yesterday I was reading the birth announcements of a southwest GA newspaper and here are children born between April 1 and April 11 in this area:
(last names have been deleted - but you know they were just normal like Smith, Jones, Jackson, Williams, etc.)
Ja'Necia Ki'Mora
Ta'Mia Veon'Shae
Demario Jawaski
Aniyah Jakymberia Nicole
Zabyon Brashaun
Ke'Marjae Ny'Kerian
Javarse Dakalin
Rashawn Kevonte
Jay'Keveoun Montavious
Ah'Mad Tyree
Driana Marshane Jemima (yeah, they actually named her Jemima)

Anybody got a Goody's powder?

But, I tell ya, my favorite unusual child's name of all time is what Penn Gillette (of the comedy duo Penn & Teller) named his daughter......."Moxie Crimefighter".

Posted by: Amy on April 18, 2006 04:48 PM

Not to be all racist and that, but would it be fair to assume that most of these people are of the brown persuasion?
Great start for your kids lives people.

Posted by: robert in england on April 21, 2006 02:46 PM

Here we go again.......same area, a week later. Kids born between April 11 and April 18 (last names have been omitted to protect these poor, innocent babes from further humility):

Keavonte' Rodriquez
Javien Kemarrious
Jairus Ja'Mon
Laquavious DayShawn (as opposed to NiteShawn)
Keon Malik
Jaiden Rashad
Treyanna Pamela (not TOO bad.....)
Bre'Aisa Kymtavia
Adan Symone
Gene Geterrious (He's a Jr. - you'd think Daddy'd learned his lesson)
Tykera' Tianna
Gernardic De'Angelo (he's a Jr. too)
Ja'Kaybre Ta'Tristian
Travion Jameal
Lea Qia'o An-Na (last name Smith - no lyin' -I know I said I'd leave out the last name but c'mon, how many Smith's do YOU know???)
Shakira Na'Shyra
Jondrea Jondricka-Ja'Naye
Aundray Geremuiah (pronounced Ger-a-moo-ee-ah???)

I get the feeling that the greatest accomplishment of the Class of 2024 will be that they are were able to correctly spell their names by their Senior year in high school. No wonder their parents have nicknames for them - "Pooky", "Ray-ray", "Boo" - they can't pronounce the names themselves!


Posted by: Amy on April 25, 2006 03:33 PM
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