Gut Rumbles

April 12, 2006

si! se puede!

People protesting over immigration reform rallied in Savannah last weekend in Forsyth Park. (I would link to the Savannah Morning News ( article, but those asses require registration now and I refuse to visit sites that require registration. I read the story in their dead-tree version and it changed my thinking about wetbacks and illegal immigration.

The rally was peaceful and the chant of the day was "Si! Se Puede!" which means "Yes! It can be done!" in Spanish. Most of the people participating in the protest were of Mexican heritage, which I expected. What I didn't expect was the sympathy I ended up feeling for them, especially after reading some of their stories.

It's goddam difficult to become an American citizen if you really try to play by the rules.

Talk about a bureaucracy that moves with the speed of a glacier! The US Immigration and Naturalization Service makes the DMV look like a model of efficiency. When you deal with them, you face YEARS of jumping through hoops and clearing ridiculous hurdles before you can become a citizen. Even people with valuable skills that we NEED in this country suffer the long wait and the red-tape nightmare that is the INS in action.

No wonder we have so many people here illegally. Just read this to get an idea of how bad the ordeal is.

Hoping to be quickly reunited with her husband, Sumathi filed a Form I-130, an application for an immigrant visa that would allow Jeevan to enter the United States. That was when she ran headlong into what has been called the most anti-family, anti-marriage, anti-immigrant aspect of American law: the prolonged and pointless separation of legal permanent residents from their spouses and children. (Emphasis mine)

Sumathi's I-130 application for Jeevan was submitted more than three years ago; unless the law changes, it is likely to take at least two more years before his immigrant visa is finally approved. In the meantime, he is barred from entering the United States to visit his wife, even briefly. Because Sumathi has a green card -- because she is here lawfully and will soon be eligible for US citizenship -- her husband cannot get even a tourist visa to come see her.

Does that shit make sense to YOU? I've always said that if you want to create a bunch of criminals, just pass laws that are too stupid to follow. I'm beginning to believe that our current immigration laws fall into that category.

When you make doing it right damn near impossible, you get people doing it wrong, and I really can't blame them for it. If I were challenged with the kind of torturous, frustrating obstacles to citizenship that immigrants face today, I might say to hell with it myself and stay here illegally.

Chances are that the same government that created this mess isn't going to get off its dead ass to arrest or deport me, so why wade through the bullshit? I can get a job, earn a living and even start my own business WITHOUT permission from the INS. What do you think MOST people would do in that situation?

People gravitate to the path of least resistance. It's no fricking wonder that illegal immigration is a problem today. Our immigration laws and the way we enforce them ENCOURAGE people to ignore the rules. And when you make abiding by the law MUCH more difficult than violating it, people will violate the law.

Here are MY humble ideas about how to deal with immigration.

1) Make the process of becoming an American citizen a lot easier and a lot quicker than it is now. That means bogging a foot in the ass of the INS and making that bureaucracy do its fucking job in a timely manner. If the INS delivered your mail, you'd be getting five year-old Christmas cards today. The wheels of government may turn slow, but this crap is ridiculous.

2) Build the wall along the Mexican border. Fuck whoever is "offended" by that idea. We need to plug the holes in our border before we are overrun with illegal immigrants. We don't need the problem growing worse while we try to solve it. Once we get the system fixed, people won't need to swim the river to get here. We can admit them legally.

3) Stop ALL programs that cater to illegal immigrants using taxpayer dollars. That means no medical care, no bilingual education and no welfare, food stamps or other benefits for being here illegally. Stop catering to people who break the law and then screaming about a "crisis" of lawbreakers.

4) Require that all immigrants learn to read and write the English language. NEVER bend on that issue. And stop printing voting ballots in ANY foreign language. If you can't speak English, you don't vote. Period.

5) Once the new system is in place, ENFORCE THE LAWS. Round up and deport illegals (jailing their asses costs too much money) promptly. Confiscate all their property before you send them home. Send a REAL message that being here illegally is a bad idea. When you make the potential punishment outweigh the potential reward, you put a stop to a lot of bad behavior. That's one reason why we're not a nation of bank robbers and tax cheats. It's not because we are particularly morally pure--- it's because we fear the penalty for getting caught. That's the kind of law that works.

Okay, that's enough proof that I am a brilliant man and I can find fairly simple solutions to complex problems. Just fix the INS first, then go from there.

By damn, I oughta run for President!


One vote for you and counting.

Posted by: scrapiron on April 12, 2006 07:23 PM

Damn right Rob. You got my vote too. This is the best idea I have heard about the immigration mess yet. Maybe you should run for president next time around.

Posted by: assrot on April 12, 2006 08:04 PM

One thing I'd add would be to fine the shit out of businesses hiring illegal aliens. Stop giving illegal aliens a reason to cross the border.

Even if it means fining Hillary - she apparently uses them for her construction, motel cleaning and so on.

Posted by: Jeffro on April 12, 2006 08:06 PM

You forgot a little something, Bitch. We don't

want more immigrants. They are losers.

Just cause some lowlife wants to move here

doesn't mean that we take them. Wake up!

Posted by: TomCat on April 12, 2006 08:17 PM

No jobs + no social welfare of any kind = no illegal immigrants. Cut them off and there will be a new trail of tears--all the way across the southern border.

Posted by: GUYK on April 12, 2006 08:23 PM

Shit, Acidman, sometimes you make entirely too much sense! Since when has our government done anything that even remotely resembled common sense?

Posted by: Fred Furd on April 12, 2006 08:32 PM

My main problem with the mexican immigrants is this. Mexico is not some commie hell hole they are escaping from. They voted for the policies that completely ruined mexico's economy and now and sends them streaming over the border looking for work. I'm concerned that they may not have learned from their previous mistake, and will think whatever they voted into place before is still a good idea. I'm aware, Mexico is corrupt as hell, but they still had the chance to vote those bastards out of power.

That said, INS -is- jacked up.

Posted by: Ted on April 12, 2006 08:45 PM

Cut out all wefare, food stamps and SSI bebefits, when these assholes have only been in the USA for only 6 months. Fuckem.

Posted by: Catfish on April 12, 2006 09:38 PM

Cut out all wefare, food stamps and SSI benefits, when these assholes have only been in the USA for only 6 months. Fuckem.

Posted by: Catfish on April 12, 2006 09:39 PM

Acidman, I'd vote for your proposals in a heartbeat.

Let me add another proposal - double the current fine on employers from $5,000 to $10,000 per illegal employee. Make it mandatory instead of optional. And give any whistleblower who drops a dime on the employer 50% of the proceeds - even if the whistleblower is one of the illegal employees.

Say that an employer has 10 illegal workers - the whistleblower would get $50,000. Want to bet that employers are a LOT more careful about checking for legal status?

Do we need immigration to the US? A lot of people claim our economy needs it, and they may well be right. If that's true, let's boost the immigration quotas - double or triple 'em if necessary - rather than let coyotes and smugglers act as gatekeepers; I'm pretty certain that their criteria for desirable immigrants is a bit different than ours (and, like you said, give INS a big kick in the ass to get them moving on the legal side)

Posted by: Javahead on April 12, 2006 10:08 PM

Javahead's suggestion is really stupid. Why is it an employer's responsibility to make sure he only hires citizens? If somebody comes in and says they are a citizen, and they produce a social security (that name just makes me retch) card, that's it.

Where would it end? Employer's hiring PI's to check out backgrounds. Fuck that.

Posted by: unmisinformed on April 12, 2006 10:28 PM

.. I moved over on my own... and Fiona moved over legally to be with me later once her documents were done.... it took almost six months of paperwork and travel... and we had been married eight years and I had a Father who was almost dead from cancer at the time.... fuck.......

.... the verdict?..... much, MUCH easier to dash across the border than it is to do it legally... at least from my humble experience..... arrive in these great States with the proper paperwork clutched in your fist....

... fuckit... knowing what I know now?.... I'd have slipped a Jimmy 5k and had her sail ashore into Key West... beats the hell our of six months and 10K and the stress that goes along with it going via the consulate in Atlanta....

... the whole job is a fucking mess.... in all areas of gummint, immigration should be the main focus of the next White House....

Posted by: Eric on April 12, 2006 11:02 PM

This is so simple to solve . . .

Eliminate government, let the market rule--something the Founding Fathers understood, and let the market dictate who is hired and fired.

God almighty--does anyone understand finances? Arguing a point from the government perspective--a 2.7 trillion dollar behemoth that is 9 trillion + dollars in debt-- is akin to asking Jeffrey Dahmer about cuts of meat.

When you study economics "independent" of the government influence, the whole damn immigration mess solves itself.


Posted by: jb on April 12, 2006 11:26 PM

Rob - that plan suits me fine. I might change the order a bit, but I agree with every damn thing on that list. You got my vote, man!

Posted by: Barb on April 13, 2006 12:43 AM

And to my knowledge, I have to file a fucking tax return each year too! Don't you?

The subject of the union of the two people involved, I really dont' give a shit! If they desire to mate and craate more, then she can can go HOME for such.!

You know I care not how many of them come across in any manner they choose. they just need to know that some of us will shoot them as if they were a rabbit!

Some in this nation say that us citizens wont take the jobs these folks will....... Cut off the govt handouts and find out how quickly those slaker suckers will take a job.

Please tell me real life stories about the dust bowl days will ya?

Posted by: TC on April 13, 2006 04:59 AM

Oh I forgot the biz about racing over the border and dropping a child...

Make it a mandantory FULL year of LEGAL residdence for any child to be recoginized as a citizen ot this nation...

Seems some laws have maybe fallen behind the current public dole handed to such eh?

Posted by: TC on April 13, 2006 05:03 AM

I have nothing against immigrants to the US of A. But once here, become a citizen, speak the language of the land, or get the hell back where you came from!

Posted by: Michele on April 13, 2006 07:11 AM

You gave the literal translation of "si! se puede!" A friend of mine in L.a. who really understands the meaning and its use from Cesar Chavez forward says that it is translated as "Hell, yes we can do it!" That's a little more direct and in your face.

However, my theory is that these protestors are getting together for the party atmosphere, and it's a great way to meet chicks who are like you.

Posted by: Woody on April 13, 2006 07:15 AM

Being born in the US of illegal parents NEVER let you become citizens....our government seems to have forgotten that fact and changed the rules.

I say we return to that policy.

Mexican doctors are declaring pregnancies "high risk" so that babies are being delivered on US soil in hospitals along the border as a matter of course to "protect the mother." BULLSHIT ON THAT.

Posted by: Maggie on April 13, 2006 07:18 AM

Most folks seem to have forgot, this is not about immigrants, it is stopping illegal entry. If they enter the US illegally, they are NOT immigrants. Can you say criminals..........

Posted by: Wm H on April 13, 2006 12:29 PM

unmisinformed forgets one thing - they're here for the jobs. And it tajes employers who are willing to look the other way to keep them coming. According the the government unemployment stats, there are more than enough american workers out of jobs to totally replace ALL the illegals in the work force. But they're not willing to work for as little money as their competition.

This feeds on itself - in labor-intensive businessess, any employer who *won't* hire illegals has a serious cost disadvantage. So even the guys who'd *like* to hold the line have a choice: go out of business because they cost more than their competitors, or practice "don't ask-don't tell about immigration status.

Make it cost more, not less, to hire illegals and you're going to reduce the jobs available. Put a bounty on the employers who *still* take a chance, and their own workers - even illegal workers who could make a couple of years wages from their cut of the fine - have a big motivation to change their hiring habits.

The downside? Unskilled labor costs will go up. We'll all pay a little more for goods and services. And - longer term - it'll take away one of the biggest "why I don't have a job" excuses for those who don't want to work (not a downside for ME, but for a some of the professional victims out there)

But the main reason I think it's a good idea is that it accomplishes two things: 1) it encourages some illegals to go back home on their own as jobs get harder to find. 2) it lessens the attraction of coming in the first place. And it doestn't require an army of agents catching every single illegal themself, or (questionable) local enforcement.

Couple that with a nice, high wall (and I'm annoyed enough that TWO walls, with a minefield between 'em and big signs every 100 feet warning "If you enter here - you will DIE" in English and Spanish sounds about right) and we can keep the problem from growing bigger.

Posted by: Javahead on April 13, 2006 01:46 PM

My wife came over (from England) on a K-1 Fiancee visa three years ago.

Her and her two girls will now eligable for citzenship in about two months. They DO speak english, and have provided everything the Gov't wanted from them.
It cost about $4,000 for ALL of them to get their Permanent Resident Alien Registration (Green Card)- this included the $300 for the British Embasy and her new Passport in her new Surname.

A co-worker of hers who is trying to get a non-english speaking Columbian wife -who can't be bothered to fly back from FLA to the INS meetings is having alot of trouble with his K-1vISA.

Posted by: KurtP on April 13, 2006 10:25 PM
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