Gut Rumbles

April 11, 2006


Stuff you're just dying to know:

* I got a haircut today. That's the first one I've had since rehab, sometime back in early November. I look downright civilized now.

* Speaking of rehab, next week will mark SIX MONTHS (or at least 180 days) since I last took a drink of alcohol. That's been the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life, and even though I'm supposed to be filled with humility, I'm kinda proud of myself. I try not to look any further ahead than RIGHT NOW with my abstinence, but I believe that I can make another week.

* Where did my traffic go? I cruised along on this blog for a long time averaging 3,000+ visitors per day. I'm down to 2,600 now. I realize that I neglected my blog a lot during the past few months, but I've done that before and the readers always came back. My stats are still dropping now, as they've been doing since the first of the year. That's disconcerting.

* I AM being interviewed by an Atlanta newspaper about being fired for blogging. The reporters are supposed to be HERE, at the Crackerbox its ownself, next Monday at around 1:00 in the afternoon. They want to take pictures of "the scene of the crime." Bejus! That ought to give my stats another swift kick in the balls.

* Some bloggers are posting shameless, disgusting photos of their bare torsos on their blogs. The REALLY bad part is that only guys are doing this shit so far. I was going to take a picture of my own nekkid torso and post it, but I ain't got no torso no more. My torso recently disappeared to wherever my ass went long ago. Now I am built like a Tootsie Roll Pop--- just a head on a stick.

* Mama died a year ago this month. It doesn't seem like that long ago...

* A got-dam dog (I could see the paw prints) got into my garden last night or early this morning and stomped several of my okra plants and one banana pepper plant flat. If I catch that bastard out there, I'm going to pop him in the ass with my pellet rifle. See Fido jump.

* Wanna meet ME, live and in person? Come to the Austin blown-eyed blodger meet this month. I'll be easy to recognize--- I'm the one with no ass... and no torso.

* With posts such as this one, it's no wonder that my blog-traffic is going to shit.


Are you going to hire a cleaning cure before the interview?

Posted by: livey on April 11, 2006 11:06 PM

Maybe all of your readers all of a sudden, GOT A LIFE?

Posted by: Catfish on April 11, 2006 11:49 PM

Call me crazy, but I thought that was one of your funniest posts ever ... the sheeyot about looking like a Tootsie Roll Pop ... I mean ... WHO comes up with analogies like that?! (well, you do obviously). But seriously, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?

Posted by: erica on April 11, 2006 11:53 PM

Let us know when the interview runs, don't want to miss that.

Posted by: Sgt Hook on April 12, 2006 12:04 AM

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
Gotdamn, did I just "date" myself???!!!
No tengo denero, otherwise I'd love to meet ya at the end of the month.
(See, I'm picking up the Spanish because it will soon be the #1 language here).

Posted by: Maeve on April 12, 2006 12:32 AM

well, add me to your list of readers.... can't even remember how I came across your blog ....but I like it a lot!........and thanks to you, I found Sgt. Hook, "No Tears In Heaven"... wow.
And sincere congrats on the six months sober...... be proud!

Posted by: Jean on April 12, 2006 12:49 AM

God love the sweet Miss Elva.

Posted by: Juliette on April 12, 2006 01:06 AM

.. at least I was linked under "shameless" and not "disgusting"..

Posted by: Eric on April 12, 2006 01:11 AM

My traffic ( what there is of it ) has been down the past week. Maybe spring fever?

Congrats on 180 dry days. First thing you know it will be 181! Then 1001 and then the rest of your life without alcohol. Not drinking is as habit forming as drinking and the thoughts of drinking become as hard to deal with as the thoughts of not drinking used to be.

Hell, I won't even post a picture of me without a hat--let alone my oversized torso. But I'll do it when DAX does.

Posted by: GUYK on April 12, 2006 07:14 AM

You just motivated everyone to get out and plant a garden! You ask "where are they?...I say they're in the backyard.

Posted by: Maggie on April 12, 2006 07:27 AM

Make sure that you post the text of the interview here. Screw thew AJC and the fact that you have to register at their site in order to read the articles. I realize that it's free and all that, but I try not to read news sites that require login.

congrats on the six month chip. They still do chips, do they not?

Posted by: Richard on April 12, 2006 08:32 AM

Rest in peace to your mama. Please leave a beach stone on her grave for me and tell her thanks for raising up a good son.

Posted by: Libby on April 12, 2006 09:59 AM

Not to worry, Brother Acidman. The backsliders will soon be back to bow down before the one they serve, and you will be mobbed in the streets for your autograph and have to shut down your email account, after the news interview. :)

Posted by: Tessa on April 12, 2006 11:23 AM

hey, I'm still here. And depending on schedule, I might just see you at austin.

Posted by: og on April 12, 2006 12:23 PM

Well I'm not sure what is going on with the popularity of blogs and how that affects a writers traffic, but personally my visitors are all the way through the roof and if i'm not mistaken will probably go well over four by the end of the week.I suppose we blog cause we got sumthing to say,and while we would appreciate comments and visitors I still maintain that we do it for our own pleasure. You blog,in my view is what motivated me to begin this process,your writing is human and passionate and rings truer with evrey sentance. I have not commented for some time because i have been sick and was finally discharged from the hospital just this week.Keep up the excellant work and don't get discouraged.

Posted by: Arathorn on April 12, 2006 12:53 PM

Mr. Disgusting here.

Actually, I probably qualify as both shameless and disgusting. Perhaps I should go take a shit and write a post about it...

Posted by: Elisson on April 12, 2006 01:10 PM

Whats a "cleaning cure"?

Posted by: Ruth on April 12, 2006 02:32 PM

Oh I almost forgot. Congrats on the 180 marker. That one day at a time stuff really works, huh?

Posted by: Libby on April 12, 2006 02:48 PM

Congrats on the 180, Rob. I've had a life the last 2-3 weeks, so now you know where 1 of those 400 went.

Posted by: Larry on April 12, 2006 03:22 PM

Gonna agree with Guy, it's Spring fever. Now that it's lighter later, I spend more time outside in the evenings with the kids and less at the computer.

And congrats on the six month mark. Good job, dude!

Posted by: Shawna on April 12, 2006 09:00 PM

Oh, you have a hiney.
A cute one.
And, I can proooove it... again.
*raised eyebrow*

Want me to?
(And, in a side note about that... the other day I got these two "Google mail" referrals in my Site Meter. So, I clicked on them to see what they were about and there was a link to the archive post they were about. So, I clicked that and... wanna take a guess what post it was that had been "google-mailed" to someone in Texas as well as Wisconson, I think it was?
It was YOUR (cute lil) ASS.
So, somebody besides me thinks it's worth emailing and posting... *grin*)

Now, about me proving it?
Dare me?
*big, shit-eatin' grin*

Posted by: Stevie on April 13, 2006 12:56 PM

Oh yeah... it takes three licks and one crunch to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, by the way...

Posted by: Stevie on April 13, 2006 12:58 PM
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