Gut Rumbles

April 04, 2006

boys will be boys


I once had a plan for my dotage. When I became an old man, I intended to pretend to be senile, drooling all over myself and babbling like a senseless idiot. That way, I could ride around in a wheelchair while grabbing wimmen by the tits or sticking my head up their dresses whenever I felt like it. I'd get away with it, too, because the wimmen would believe that I had the mind of a child and I didn't know what I was doing.

Good plan, huh?

Now, I don't know. I don't think I have the energy anymore to be a dirty old man. I think I would rather be a kid again and see if I couldn't "cute" my way through tit-grabbing and head-up-dress sticking. "Awww! Look, Barbara. Little Robbie just grabbed your tits. Ain't he cute?"

That's a better plan. Old men are stationary targets and too easy to bitch-slap. If I were a kid again, I might be able to outrun any woman who didn't think I was "cute" when I molested her.

(Picture shamelessly stolen from this guy)


I got nuttin' but, "awwwww". That is a cute pitcher!
Where's mah damn bumper sticker?!

Posted by: LilToni on April 4, 2006 02:27 PM

You know that's a department store dummy, right? Or are you THAT far gone???

Posted by: maggot on April 4, 2006 03:09 PM

Yeah, it's a dummy. Sure.

WHo cares. The dummy has a nice dumper.

Posted by: og on April 4, 2006 05:34 PM

That picture is a hoot!!!

Posted by: Evilicious Blonde on April 4, 2006 09:45 PM

Her shoes don't match, or am I the only one that noticed?

Posted by: Alaska Kim on April 5, 2006 04:51 PM

She's wearing shoes? I dont think anyone noticed till now.

Posted by: Ruth on April 5, 2006 07:28 PM

Dummy or not, that is one hot rear end.

Thanks for the post and the commentary, I enjoyed this one.

Posted by: Josh on April 7, 2006 09:04 PM

My step-father's uncle was a dirty old man until he died at 99.
When going into the hospital for the last time he grabbed a nurse on the elevator. And got away with it!

I really liked that man. His wife of 60+ years died years before he did and he was happy until the day he died. And still grabbing nurses.

What a man.

Posted by: Veeshir on April 9, 2006 01:02 PM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.