Gut Rumbles

April 02, 2006

damn! That's like work!

I felt pretty good yesterday morning, so I went back to work on my garden early, before the sun got too hot. I was having a nice time until I managed to stir up a bunch of insurgent fire ants, who ambushed me mercilessly and bit the living shit out of me. Damn! Those are some mean little bastards!

I had to postpone gardening for a while and root around in my garage for the 100# of Diazanon I bought after the EPA announced that the perfectly safe and effective pesticide was being banned for no good reason other than some environmentalist's whiney whim a couple of years ago. I purchased two 50# bags and stored it for future usage before the stuff vanished from store shelves. Fuck the EPA. I hope fire ants bite the shit out of them, too, the buncha Chicken Littles.

I found my stash and launched a chemical attack against the implacable, six-legged terrorists infesting my yard. My preemptive strike must have been effective, because I didn't see ANY ants in my garden today. All the mounds appear to be abandoned. But past experience has shown me that I didn't kill the bastards. I probably just ran them off into my neighbor's yard for a while. Like the Terminator, they'll be back.

But I was able to finish my planting today, unbitten and unbothered, so I am happy. Sore and tired, but happy. I set up my big Rainbird sprinkler and created my own rainstorm to wet everything in good. The damn plot of ground already looks like a garden, except for one small detail: I still have room for more stuff out there.

What the hell. I already have tomatoes, corn, potatoes, green beans, okra, squash (crookneck AND zuccinni), bell peppers, banana peppers, cucumbers and sugar snap peas planted. If I'm able to get out of bed tomorrow, I'm gonna go buy some more squash, okra and cucumbers, plus some watermelon and cantelope. No sense in letting any tilled ground go to waste.

After that comes the fun part--- trying to keep the tree-rats, the potato bugs, the cutworms, the corn grubs and other nasty predators from eating me out of business. "Delicate" environment, my Cracker ass. It's a got-dam hostile world out there. It's already put a whipping on me, and I just got started.

Gardening---call it a hobby if you want, but it sure seems a lot like work when you actually DO IT.


My sunflowers are sprouting. So we'd figure we'd be braver and plant some corn & onions. I'll pick up a tomato plant this week and try it too. I have to do the "container" garden due to limited space.

Posted by: Maeve on April 2, 2006 04:25 PM

The little bastards seem to thrive in tilled soil and sand. I put down another 40 bucks worth of over and out today but still need another 10 pounds for the south end of the place. I hope they all head that direaction and about Friday or Saturday I'll Over and Out it which will drive them to my RAP playing neighbor. I hope they get into his fuckin van and eat his CDs

I've about got all the hard part done and it just a matter of weedin' and waterin' and pickin' now, I hope anyway.

Posted by: GUYK on April 2, 2006 04:51 PM

...bastard ants.... nuked one nest last week here in the lawn....

Posted by: Eric on April 2, 2006 05:16 PM

They are calling for snow tonight here :(

Posted by: livey on April 2, 2006 05:16 PM

A .177 cal pellet through the eye socket at 900 FPS works wonders on tree-rats. And it's quiet enough so as to not disturb the neighbors.

I hate those disease-ridden bushy-tailed little bags of shit.

Posted by: rightisright on April 2, 2006 06:45 PM

Do squirrels serve any useful purpose?

Posted by: Tessa on April 2, 2006 10:36 PM

No beets? Home-made pickled beets for later and steamed beet-greens for now.

And the salad department is a little light. Maybe some lettuce, radishes, and onions to go with the 'maters and cukes. I used to get several types of lettuce seed, mix them up, and plant a square yard that I called the salad bowl. Plant it thick and the lettuce will crowd out the weeds.

Oh, and maybe some Summer Spinach.

Posted by: homebru on April 2, 2006 10:38 PM

It IS work. You are, by the sweat of your brow and the toil of your back, making the land PRODUCE something. The good news is, you can still blame wimmen. Or at least one woman. It's in genesis somewhere I think. Something about a talking snake.

That said, this year, I hope to do 2 kinds of tomatoes, 3 or 4 kinds of hot peppers, and some cucumbers. Nothing says good morning like a habenero. And you just NEED tomatoes, and they don't taste as good from the store.

It's just not planting season here yet. Unless I missed it... I'd better check.

(poor Livey. No snow here in Indiana. Just tornados! Count your blessings.)

Posted by: Ted on April 2, 2006 10:51 PM

What about some onions? Word is that Georgia onions are the best around.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 3, 2006 01:29 AM

No herbs to go with those tomatoes? Oregano and basil are easy to grow.

Posted by: Libby on April 3, 2006 07:37 AM

"Do squirrels serve any useful purpose?"

Yes. Protein

Posted by: GUYK on April 3, 2006 08:42 AM
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