Gut Rumbles

March 31, 2006

i'll be sorry

I just couldn't stand it anymore. I worked on my garden today.

I took it nice and easy, going slowly and being careful not to hurt myself. I managed to spread another layer of fertilizer and plant four rows of Silver Queen corn, a row of potatoes, and two rows of green beans. I also have 24 okra plants, 12 tomato plants, a bunch of bell peppers, some crookneck squash, zuccinni, cucumber and banana peppers to stick in the ground tomorrow. I think I have room to work some melons in there, too.

Just the little bit of doing that I accomplished today hurt my belly and sent me hobbling off to wash down a couple of Pepcid tablets with some milk to put the fire out. (I save my painkillers for night time, or when I'm hurting particularly badly.) When I walked back into the Crackerbox this afternoon, I kept looking back over my shoulder to see if I was dragging any intestines on the ground behind me. It felt like I was...

I don't care if I WILL be sore and sorry tomorrow. Looking out my kitchen window every day at that tilled piece of land laying bare was driving me crazy. I never did get a load of compost from Mama's house, nor did I ever set all my landscape timbers, but I simply couldn't wait any longer. I declared my garden officially started today.

Once I get the other stuff in the ground tomorrow, I'll set up my sprinklers in strategic locations and just watch it grow. A land of milk and honey! Bounty from generous Mother Nature! Food I grew all by myself!

And best of all, it's all FREE--- except for the $200 or so I spent on seed, plants, fertilizer, cow shit, sprinklers, a new shovel, landscape timbers, a short-handled weeding rake, a "Y" fitting so that I can run two sets of sprinklers at once and the gallon of Roundup I purchased to start the entire process. Other than THAT investment, combined with hours of my own sweat, the garden is free.

I don't want to hear any shit about how I could do a lot better with $200 in the produce section of Kroger's Supermarket. Fuck you for even THINKING such thoughts. My homegrown vegetables taste better than anything you'll ever find in a store and growing them is good therapy for my warped mind. Wanna think clean thoughts? Get your hands dirty in the soil.

Pictures will be forthcoming, if I live long enough to take them.


yep. I probably spent 400 bucks this spring getting some new beds built and dirt put in them but that is a one time expense to write off. The way I look at it that forst meal out of the garden for me and sweetthing will cost us 200 bucks a piece and after that it is free eating.

From here on out for me it is watering every day and trying to sray ahead of the weeds and fire ants as well as some other nasty crawly things that like to eat the leaves on the pole beans. 7 dust is some damn good stuff

Posted by: GUYK on March 31, 2006 06:05 PM

Good job. Land is an important thing to

a man. It doesn't betray ya, and it yields the

sweat of thy brow. So sayeth TomCat.

Posted by: TomCat on March 31, 2006 06:30 PM

I'm looking forward to them pictures and I think any home grown vegetables are better than store bought. When I was a younger man and had more time on my hands, I kept a nice 1 acre garden every year. I worked it all by hand. Everyday when I got home I'd spend the afternoon in the garden hoeing them weeds. Man I tell you, there is nothing better than food that you worked to grow. I can't wait until I retire so I can do things like plant a garden again. You're making me jealous Rob.

Posted by: assrot on March 31, 2006 06:50 PM

You should get $200 worth (retail value) of tomatos and okra from what you planted. Everything else is pure profit.

Posted by: homebru on March 31, 2006 07:11 PM

Uh, you got the better deal that is for sure! There is NOTHING like home grown veggies.
So far I've only got 4 sunflowers sprouting. I may get bold and try a tomato plant this year.

Posted by: Maeve on March 31, 2006 07:18 PM

12 TOMATO PLANTS? Are you supplying a ketchup factory?

Posted by: Nancy B on March 31, 2006 08:12 PM

Don't you know that millions of people in the U.S. think you're crazy. Veggies don't come from the ground, they come from the super market. I'll never forget the woman in NYC's remark during a diary crisis, she stated she did't care what happened to the dairy industry, she got her milk from the market. Yes, they are still out there and they vote democratic.
Grew up with a pack of salt in my back pocket in the spring and summer. Tomato and mellon patches were fair game, did'nt matter who owned it. Even field corn boiled over an open fire on the river bank was good, drop a few stolen potatoes in and a meal was ready. No, it wasn't really stealing, everyone knew who we were and never worried about what little we took and if they needed help in the fields they called us theives to help out. God I miss those good days.

Posted by: scrapiron on March 31, 2006 08:54 PM

If you live long enough to eat them? ? ?

More like....If you live long enough to "put them up"!

You better get some mason jars NOW.

Posted by: Maggie on March 31, 2006 09:12 PM

It is good that you are starting to feel like get outside. Be careful and don't overdo it.

Posted by: Kevin on March 31, 2006 09:35 PM

Congrats on the garden, I can't wait to see all the things you do with it! And I for one will never tell you to buy Veggies from Kroger...even having worked there for 4 years. I still buy all my veggies from a roadside stand, get a better deal than supermarkets, it tastes better, and I don't have to do any work yet! :)

Posted by: Steph on March 31, 2006 11:23 PM

Man, milk is HARD to digest. That means it's hard on the gut, too. Don't take my word for it, Google it or ask your doc or something.

Water is better if you are having gut problems. Milk may feel better, but it ain't.

Posted by: jdallen on April 1, 2006 07:01 AM

Dude, gardening is THERAPY, both physical and emotional. I am so jealous of what you will be harvesting this year it isn't even funny. Here in lousy, rocky soil in CA, I planted some corn one year. To my surprise, it was the sweetest corn I had ever eaten.

I'll take your garden over any store vege section any day. I'm just jealous I'm not close enough to partake of YOUR bounty!

Posted by: A Different Kim on April 1, 2006 07:50 AM

I'm iwth GuyK on this one. I just dropped about $200 on EarthBoxes for my deck (suburban living limits planting options) and I'm ordering my tomatoes, cukes and peppers today. It might have cost me a good bit of change for the EarthBoxes but I'mm use them for several years amortizing my produce costs.
I hope the garden feeds you well A-man!

Posted by: BlogDog on April 1, 2006 08:35 AM

Investing $200.00 in the vision of your own garden is worth it, even if you 'don't live to take a picture'. I hope you do.

Posted by: Bonita on April 1, 2006 12:27 PM

You'll get MUCH MORE nutritional value, plus a sense of accomplishment from that garden then you could ever get from cruising Kroger's. Besides, getting that garden going will give you a reason to get off your ass. ;)

Posted by: Cythen on April 1, 2006 04:50 PM

I am SO jealous!

Posted by: livey on April 1, 2006 05:37 PM

You gotta love a garden . Damn the cost.

Posted by: georgia on April 1, 2006 10:04 PM
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