Gut Rumbles

December 31, 2005


I stopped making New Year's Resolutions years ago. Before then, I would make the resolutions, convince myself that I was serious about keeping them, and then break every damned one, usually before the end of January.

That crap was a waste of my time and a real blow to my self-esteem. If I broke promises that I made to MYSELF, for crying out loud, I HAD to be a really shitty human being, worthy of NO ONE'S trust. I finally figured out that I was better off NOT making resolutions that I was bound to piss all over than I was lying to myself like a delusional, disgusting swine.

But, being in touch with my feminine side today, I have changed my mind. Here are my Resolutions For 2006:

1) I will drink no alcohol today. Or tomorrow, when that day comes.

2) I am going to get off my dead ass and start recording on my home studio. I've had the damned thing set up for more than two months now and I haven't done diddly-squat with it. I'm gonna cut my own CD of original songs with me playing all the instruments and me singing all the vocals. Then, I'm gonna sell the CD on my blog.

3) I'm going to start playing golf regularly. I'm going to get good at the game again, too.

4) I WILL NOT buy any more firearms or musical instruments in 2006. I have more of those than I need already.

5) I will continue to blog.

6) I will sail to Belize with Recondo 32 this summer. I will survive the trip, too, even if I have to put his lovely, loud-mouthed wife, Georgia, in the lifeboat and tow her on a line 50 yards behind us when she gets in one of her bitchy moods. (Yes, she intends to go, too.) If she keeps bitchin' after that, I'll just cut the tow-rope when Recondo isn't looking. He's deaf. He'll never hear her cries for help.

7) I'm gonna get a cat for a pet, take LOTS of "cute" pictures of it and post the pictures on my blog every day. Heh. I threw that one in there just to take the pressure off of keeping ALL my resolutions.

8) I'm going back to Costa Rica at least TWICE in 2006.

9) I'm going to start a light weightlifting program and gain another 20 pounds. I'm still too weak and skinny to suit myself. I'm eating a lot better than I was, and I don't want to get fat. Yes, I am older than dirt, decrepit as hell and losing my hair, but I'm still vain.

10) I'm going back to work on my novel and I will finish it in 2006. I also intend to sell that fucker, make a mint and retire AGAIN, this time in Costa Rica.

Those should be no problem to keep.


Your CD will be on my must-have list!


Posted by: sulizano on December 31, 2005 06:38 PM

I ran across some emails from you that were several years old which prompted me to write.
Have you checked out Gluten intolerance or I think they have a name for it now as Celiac.
I discovered my intolerance over a year ago and am now a healthly person again. Believe me I can empathize as I've read some of your entries on your health.I had been a very ill person in all areas.I just wanted to share some knowledge that would lead you also to better health.I've added some new instruments to the household.A couple of banjos and my brother-in-law surprized me with a fiddle.
We both lost a parent this year and survived death threatening illnesses but continue to play our music and develop our creativity in our"aloneness". I crave the very things you write about.I wish you Prosperity in Heart.
I wish you Love in 2006
In my mad world, I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong?

Posted by: Lexia on December 31, 2005 06:48 PM

- "I'm gonna sell the CD on my blog."
- "I will continue to blog."

I will continue to read.

Posted by: Lisa on December 31, 2005 08:10 PM

You go Rob... But stop talking about being an old fucker. I have 10+ years on you boy, and I don't consider myself old YET! Good luck with the resolutions.

Posted by: Bob on December 31, 2005 08:21 PM

I've been reading your blog for several years now, have thrown a couple of comments (as texdriver I think), and was the guy who gave your daughter a bunch of kid's clothes about a year or so ago for her grage sale thing (I'm in Arlington as well).

As an artist, I encourage you to cut that CD. Write songs to Sam and Quentin, use this period of rebirth and release from old habits to leve a legacy. Last chance.

'cause, like me, you ain't got a helluva lot of time to do that. Once you're past 50, don't read the obits ya know.

I'll design the CD cover gratis - if you'll promise to record the tracks - which I need to hear before I can do the design. Rough cut mp3's are fine,

This is an honest offer, This is my profession, and I like doing fun stuff knowing full well it ainlt gonna reap a dime. If you're interested, ask for my personal email, and you'll get it.

Posted by: Steven on December 31, 2005 08:46 PM

Keep the cat, fatten it up and announce you will eat it for Thanksgiving. Post pictures of the cat as it is being fattened. Start one of those 'give me money or the cat gets it' web pages and become stinking rich.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to implement this plan myself, as it would mean keeping the cat alive for all that time.

Posted by: Daran on January 1, 2006 11:33 AM

You had me going with the cat thingy! Was beginning to think you'd given up drinkin' for smokin'!! Here's to a better year in '06 for us all!

Posted by: Michele on January 1, 2006 12:10 PM

Hey need a Maine Coon cat if you're gonna have one..they are as big as dogs ...

Posted by: Kelly on January 1, 2006 08:53 PM

#2. Your CD. I'll buy one!

Posted by: Mark on January 2, 2006 03:50 PM

Hey Rob,

I'm your age. Oct of 2004 I got a wake up call. Heart issues. Unfortunately I've done some permanent damage. But I lost about 40lbs and after they cleared me for exercise I started a mild lifting program in March 2005. By slowing increasing the lifting program I'm now using what would be considered an "intermediate" program. These days I lift 4 days on 2 days off in a rotating program. I'm possibly in the best shape of my life. The key is start slow. Keep building (slowly) and set goals. Also read and learn about lifting its not just throwing iron around. If you do that, on a physical level, you'll be a totally different person with in a few months. Weight training (done properly) really is amazing.

Good luck

Posted by: Fred-bos on January 4, 2006 02:51 PM
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