Gut Rumbles

December 22, 2005

blogging sick

I have been in a bad way.

I finally went to sleep last night some time after midnight. I had been awake for more than 40 straight hours. Around 4:00 this morning, I sprang from my bed to begin an intimate courtship with my bathroom commode. I hugged it, squeezed it and shared a great deal of my bodily fluids with it. This romance continued on and off for about 12 hours.

I was one sick puppy.

I probably had a case of food poisoning from eating my own cooking from my own filthy kitchen. That's my best guess, because I was launching projectile discharge from both ends and hurting from head to toe. A couple of times, I didn't even bother to leave the bathroom between attacks. I just curled up in a fetal position on the floor and waited for the next wave of diarrhea and nausea.

I managed a few hours of fitful sleep this afternoon. I finally woke up feeling as if I had a goddam hangover after more than 60 days without drinking any alcohol. (I missed my AA meeting in Statesboro tonight--- my fellow inmates probably believe that I went off somewhere on a drunk.) I still don't feel right, but I'm better than I was.

As the post in the link above suggests, bloggers sometimes write when they're too sick to do anything else. I'm drinking chicken broth from a coffee cup held in trembling hands right now, but I can manage to type. It takes my mind off my misery.

I DO have one horrible thought crawling around in my mind. I took my first soaking in my hot tub last night. The water was 104 degrees and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I drank apple juice on ice and read a Stephen King book (The Regulators) for about an hour. When I got out of the tub, I was so relaxed that my legs wobbled when I walked. I got sick just a few hours later.

You don't suppose I'm allergic to my hot tub, do you?


I toldja, that heat is probably cooking you like a stewing hen. Back it off a couple degrees.

On the other hand, the heat just might have caused an otherwise dorman intestinal bacterium to decide to have a party and invite a few friends.

Hope you feel better soon.

Posted by: og on December 22, 2005 09:42 PM

Hell, no. You're allergic to yourself. That will pass. Og's right, though. Turn it down a notch, keep the chicken broth on simmer, and swap the Stephen King for Light In August.

Posted by: Velociman on December 22, 2005 09:47 PM

104 for an HOUR on the virgin run?

Try 102 for 20 mins next time.

Posted by: rightisright on December 22, 2005 09:59 PM

Hot tubs are supposed to have an automatic cut-off for the heater when the water temp reaches 102... the new heaters do anyway... if you sit in a hot tub for over 20 minutes at that high a temperature, you should probably have someone to come check on you to make sure you haven't passed out and drowned yourself... just friendly advise from a custom pool builder.

Posted by: Madfish Willie on December 22, 2005 10:09 PM

Did you have a hot lady in the tub with you? If so, that could have done it, Cat

Posted by: catfish on December 22, 2005 10:14 PM

Drink plenty of water, but not out of the hottub.

Posted by: gail on December 22, 2005 10:21 PM

An HOUR? Good lord! Know wonder u don't feel well! Info strongly recommended AGAINST what u did should be in the owner's manual.
Hope you're feelin' betta.

Posted by: Lil Toni on December 22, 2005 10:28 PM

Jeez, maybe you had heatstroke.

Posted by: gail on December 22, 2005 10:44 PM

I'm with the above, voting on heat sickness. Rehydration, electrolytes. You'll recover, you are too much of a hard ass not to.

Sucks during the interim, though. ;)

Posted by: Cythen on December 22, 2005 10:44 PM

When I was married to the BC, we had a hot tub that I kept at 105 degrees. I often went to sleep in that thing and soaked for a lot longer than one hour. I never felt any ill effects from that, other than being weak and pruney when I got out.

Posted by: Acidman on December 22, 2005 11:05 PM

You are a wee bit older now and your body is still recovering. I'd follow every one's advice and just take it easy with the hot tub.

Posted by: Maeve on December 22, 2005 11:44 PM

From a former paramedic:
. Symptoms of heat exhaustion may include nausea, vomiting, fatigue, weakness, headache, muscle cramps, aches, and dizziness.
One of the major contibutors is dehydration.
Be well A-Man, and take it easy on tha hot-tubbin.

Posted by: Lil Toni on December 23, 2005 12:32 AM

With that attack, you're in some danger of getting hammered by a number of things, especially water-borne parasites. Shock the hot-tub (with shocking acid) and turn down the heat as the others said.

If you have the wrong bugs in your GI tract, you could do my tried-and-true Vietnam War cure: Take 10 Halzone tablets (gettem at a sporting goods store that caters to the backpacking set), grind up with a spoon, disolve in a small glass of water and drink. Wait 24 hours, only sipping halzone-treated water. After 24 hours, AND THE SHITS HAVE TAPERED OFF, eat some plain yoghurt, to re-establish the correct buggies in your GI tract.

Stay away from spicy foods for 2 weeks, gradually build back up to normal carbs, THEN normal proteins, THEN leafy veggies.

This protocol straightened out many a fucked-up GI tract over in the 'Nam, without having to see the doc. I heard it even worked for guys who had been diagnosed with dysentery.

One warning, you'll be really low on energy while you are correcting the GI system. Don't overdo anything physical.

Posted by: Rivrdog on December 23, 2005 12:33 AM

No doubt you are alergic to the hot tub. I'll be by in a couple of days to pick it up. No use of you taking more chances. Ok

Posted by: scrapiron on December 23, 2005 12:43 AM

Hey, numb-nuts, you boiled a lifetime of poisons out into your system, with no natural immunity (i.e., alcohol) to protect you. You're lucky you didn't fucking die from anaphylaxis or something. I outta have Livey spank your cracker ass for you.

Keep the heat in the 90's, and go get in a cool shower every 15 minutes or so, and keep a (plastic!) pitcher full of lemonade or something and a (plastic!) glass to drink it from. Why plastic? Well, pass out while handling glass, and fall on it, and then post cool pics of your scars. Do I need to say numb-nuts again? You are far too fragile right now to be hot-tubbing alone. Get someone in there with you who is strong enough to pull your passed out ass out and not blow their ring.


Posted by: Bane on December 23, 2005 01:09 AM

...and yeah, what Rivrdog said, too. And Gatorade! Tastes like elf piss, but the shit works.


Posted by: Bane on December 23, 2005 01:12 AM

You probably caught a virus. The nausea/vomiting/shits/fatigue/fever virus is nasty and no fun at all. You have been getting out more than you used to, as well.

Doctors usually recommend a "BRAT" diet after said virus which is an acronym for bananas, rice, applesauce and toast. After you can handle that for a day or two, then add others slowly.

Don't know nuthin about hot tubs, but I doubt the two are related.

In fact, I started feeling nauseous yesterday. I'm feelin' it a little right now, and I am seriously hoping that I don't have a bug. It's Christmas dammit!!

Posted by: Surfie on December 23, 2005 09:22 AM

Acidopholus is great for restoring the natural flora of the GI tract. Take two every morning. Drink either Gatorade, or Pedialyte to restore your electrolytes. Your body is going to be in shock for a while. Take care of it.

Posted by: livey on December 23, 2005 09:54 AM

Acidophilus--that must be a bacteria that has an especial affinity for Acidman?

Posted by: Desert Cat on December 23, 2005 10:46 AM

Well, as you know I'm *quite* far away from you geographically speaking, but in the elementary school where I work, the kids were dropping like FLIES this week with exactly what you described. It might just be a flu bug... Hope you're feeling better soon!

Posted by: Lisa on December 23, 2005 01:45 PM

Bane said it best.

Posted by: Maeve on December 23, 2005 06:05 PM

I've been away from the computer during the vacation, but I second what Lisa said; up here in CT, my kids have both had a GI bug for the last two weeks or more, though the vomiting and diarrhea only lasted about a day. The on-and-off attacks of nausea have been going on since then though. Thankfully that latter bit is all they managed to share with me. Several teachers I know say that it's been going through all their classes, and they are all in different school systems.

If anyone has a cure other than time, I'd love to hear it!

Posted by: LibraryGryffon on December 27, 2005 10:13 AM

We just purchased a hot tub last week. Whenever I am in the tub for more than 30 minutes at 98 degrees, I become ill. I do drink water to stay hydrated. I think the heat does not agree with my body. I sweat for hours, cant sleep and get headaches. So much for relaxing in my tub.

Posted by: Ken on October 4, 2006 03:11 PM
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