Gut Rumbles

December 11, 2005


I don't feel good. I can't sleep. The weather is shitty and it makes all my old injuries ache. My brain feels as if it's been sliced, diced, and then stuck in a blender for a nice puree. My attention span took a hike; I don't know where it went. I wasn't paying attention.

I'm even losing my appetite for food again.

Somebody told me yesterday at an AA meeting that lack of sleep never killed anybody. I suppose that's true, but it sure can make you feel like shit. And I do.

Otherwise, I'm okay. I just don't have much blogging in me right now.


Oh you better eat, you're gonna need all the strength you can get to teach me to shoot! You better be strong enough to catch me when I fall over backwards.

Posted by: livey on December 11, 2005 06:16 PM

Yeah, I went through that pahase of couldn't sleep. But I just stayed busy doing something whether it was rerpairing fishing tackle, fishing or someting that kept me active. I couldn't concentrate long enough to write nor to read or even watch TV but I could stay busy with my hands and that seemed to help keep my mid away from the booze. It gets better with time and it is just one day at a time.

Posted by: GUYK on December 11, 2005 06:39 PM

Feel better, Acidic One.

Posted by: Light & Dark on December 11, 2005 07:19 PM

Go tune into either C-Span, or a Public Television pledge drive....(either one of those are quite effective against insomnia)

Posted by: Ruth on December 11, 2005 07:23 PM

Listen to Al Franken. If his droning doesn't cause you to drift off into ZZZZZZZZ-Land, then damn, I don't know what will. Take care Rob. The blogging world needs you around for a long, long, long time.

Posted by: David Drake on December 11, 2005 07:28 PM

David...we want to help him go to SLEEP, we dont want to KILL the man.

Posted by: Ruth on December 11, 2005 07:30 PM

Try Megace for appetite.

Posted by: ken on December 11, 2005 08:30 PM

Sleep is just a cheap caffiene substitute anyway.

Posted by: Richard on December 11, 2005 08:53 PM

Well, you're still alive. Maybe you just need to get Steve H to cook you something. Maybe one of those damned big hogs.

Posted by: og on December 11, 2005 10:14 PM

First and last comment here.

I've been there. This is a test and just a test. Hold on.

It gets better. Your life is worth much more than this blog.

It will all come back to you in time. If the blog doesn't come back, it's nothing compared to being alive. Just hold on.

Posted by: Not One Jot on December 11, 2005 10:29 PM

I've got just the thing to distract you. I just stumbled onto this amazing music site. Build your own playlist.

Hours of fun here, honest to God and no thinking required. And it's free. They say you have to hear commericials to get the free version but I've been listening for three hours straight without hearing a one.

Posted by: Libby on December 11, 2005 10:50 PM

What you need is some exercise. No real incentive to intake calories if you aren't expending, and you could use the endorphins. Perhaps start out with a mild walk, and work up to a jog over time? It'll build you up and give you an appetite.

Posted by: Cythen on December 11, 2005 11:22 PM

Smoke a little weed.

Posted by: rightisright on December 12, 2005 12:50 AM

Oh, gawd, I remember that very well, and they used to tell me the same thing. And yeh, it's not conducive to feeling good. That old Hungry Angry Lonely Tired stuff. Cythen is right on the money, we alcoholics have low beta endorphin, that's one of the reasons we self medicte with the booze. Movement does help, as does music. I'm gonna go check out that music site Libby posted.

Posted by: Maggie45 on December 12, 2005 12:56 AM

consarn it, don't sweat the blogging(i know you don't but i had to start with some cliche/homily/admonition) and remember why you're doing this: to squeeze MORE instead of less out of life. you drank and drank cause you didn't care. you want to stop because you do care. you care. i care. everyone cares. hell, i don't even know you but you shoot straight, you're southern and you prolly like the allman brothers band. :) in other words, the worst day of sobriety is going to be better than the best days drunk. fuck feeling bad, you could be some 40 year old dork who lives with his parents and has never had the highs or lows you have and will have. hell, rob, some of us haven't cared if we lived or died or if we had any quality in our lives, for whatever reason, real or imagined and now we (ok, some of us ;-) ) are using your example to turn things around for ourselves. you hear me, hoss? holler in agony and anguish if you need to, cry and get it out and when you're done, get a-praying and thank the Lord for the highs and the lows and the good and the bad, because you could have never known life at all.

things could be worse: you could be indifferent to guitar music, be clueless about guns and sports and live up where it ain't pretty and people "tawlk we-erd" compared to us barefoot rednecks with outhouses.

now THAT would as fucked up as a can of worms!!!

Posted by: richard on December 12, 2005 01:37 AM

oh and you could still be drunk, ready to die and not care AND be a vols fan too. how 'bout them DAWGS?

Posted by: richard on December 12, 2005 01:39 AM

"Oh you better eat, you're gonna need all the strength you can get to teach me to shoot! You better be strong enough to catch me when I fall over backwards."

Livey, you are one hot bitch and I wish you'd call me. Your blog photo has mad eme masturbate million times over the last several months (seems like years now). Either get off your tight, toned, ass, and go meet the smartest man on the face of the planet, or give me another fantasy to dream about in my lonely cold bed. I should shut the fuck up already. Geeeez. No wonder I inbreed. I bore everyone else in the fucking world to absolute tears. I'm also on a 2nd grade reading/spelling level!

Posted by: Ted on December 12, 2005 03:14 AM

"Ted" is sometimes slang for "prick." Like now.

Posted by: Chris on December 12, 2005 03:43 AM

Blog when you feel like it, don't when you don't. Your sleep cycles WILL be fucked up for awhile. They don't call it de-tox for nothing. You don't have to prove anything to anyone -- this is about Rob learning how to take care of Rob. Listen to those old farts in AA -- they know whereof they speak. Got a sponsor yet? It helps -- you can always change to a diffferent one as you grow and see your needs more clearly. Just take care of yourself, my friend -- the blog'll keep and so will your readers.

Posted by: Marianne on December 12, 2005 05:33 AM

Spend a few more hours on that kitty-blasting game. By the way- what was your high score on that thing? After about 30 attempts, I think I finally reached 150, or there abouts. Then I checked the high scores.1150? WTF? I can handle a handgun with a fair degree of accuracy, but put a mouse in my hand and I'm obviously a short-bus lifer. Shit.

Posted by: Pete the Streak on December 12, 2005 05:49 AM

Time to que up VH1 and start doing the Macarena.

Posted by: robert on December 12, 2005 09:03 AM

Now you sound like a normal person 'of old age'. If a body part doesn't ache, inspect it carefully, it may not be there. Do like the rest of us, carry a drivers license at all times. You can always look at it to see if you are really you and where you live.

Posted by: scrapiron on December 12, 2005 11:16 AM

This, too, shall pass. Like the person above said, listen to the old-timers, and get yourself a sponsor - even a temporary sponsor can be of help. (I mainly am in touch with mine by email these days.) If you feel like blogging, blog, if not, don't. Walks are good if the weather permits -- after I got out of rehab my sponsor had me work up to a couple of miles a day. Get a bunch of snackable junk food, stuff you can eat on impulse without much or any preparation-- after 5 years I still don't eat enough and if I don't have food handy I find I'll put off cooking.
Crazy thing is, after a period of insomnia one is liable to have a "drinking dream". Don't sweat that, either, bring it up at a meeting and you'll find you aren't alone there either.
You've got prayers and good vibes aimed your way.

Posted by: Stu on December 12, 2005 11:17 AM

Chris, best response ever ever ever re:Ted. I will have to remember that line.

Another thing, as mentioned above; Rob, you hurt because you aren't drunk. You hurt because the weather is shitty, and I'm sure you've got some arthritis somewhere up in the mix. Take some Bayer, eat something warm and watch some Macarena on VH1. *snicker*

Just keep checking in every week or so. Your slavering rabble demand the presence of their Acid Emperor.

Posted by: Cythen on December 12, 2005 12:25 PM

Speaking as one who has had sleep apnea, lack of sleep *can* kill you.
THe surgery made a huge difference in my life.

Posted by: BlogDog on December 12, 2005 01:04 PM

Ted, you are obviously not smart enough to become informed, so let me inform you, we already have a date for Jan. My ass is neither fat or lazy, I'm sure I'm smarter than you. And Rob is obviously smarter than you as well.

Now take your jealous little dumbass to the corner and sulk before I hunt you down and shoot your ass.

After Rob teaches me to shoot, of course.

Posted by: livey on December 12, 2005 01:32 PM

Your life is worth much more than this blog.

Well, for Rob that's true enough. For the rest of us, now... (j/k)

Posted by: McGehee on December 12, 2005 02:10 PM

You might try some Sleepytime nighttime tea and some melatonin - neither addictive, but the tea tastes really good.

I used that when I would pull 2 doubles on the weekend night/mornings. I was in college working at a psych hospital at that time and had to get back to my normal sleeping pattern during the week.

I would darken the room, take my melatonin, sip my hot tea, and put on some really relaxing music. It worked wonders.

Gah, shift work sucks, but you know that already.

Posted by: Surfie on December 12, 2005 02:51 PM

Here are some links about the tea and melatonin:

Posted by: Surfie on December 12, 2005 02:59 PM

Quit yer bitchin and get to postin'. I bet you are even more irreverant after a few sleepness nights. I can't wait.

Posted by: Florida Bill on December 12, 2005 03:40 PM

Don't worry Livey, he's sulking...

That comment he posted was pathetic. Did you read it closely?

Posted by: Me on December 12, 2005 04:58 PM

Don't make me send you a cat in a box.

Posted by: assrot on December 12, 2005 05:48 PM

Rob, ignore most of these people.
I am in the process of dying from this disease.
It took 5 minutes to write this.
You got, a life.
Live it.
For me and the others who never will.

Posted by: Anonymous Old Goat on December 12, 2005 06:13 PM

LOL @ "Me"

Old Goat, remember I know who you are, don't make me hunt you down and kick your ass!

Posted by: livey on December 12, 2005 06:44 PM

"smoke some weed".........Please don't use mind-altering substances. Very likely to send you off to the races again. Did me.

Can't remember anyone recommending sweets, particularly chocolate, if craving hits you. Alcohol is stored as sugar in the body. Sweets, by G-d, are too!

Oh, and read the Big Book, go to meetings and work the 12 steps.

Posted by: Larry on December 12, 2005 08:35 PM

Hope you're sleeping...

Posted by: Lisa on December 12, 2005 09:05 PM

Please do.

Posted by: Anonymous Old Goat on December 13, 2005 12:36 AM

Start riding a bicycle, small journeys at first at low speed then build it up. Easy on the joints, good for the back and gets the blood flowing in your thigh muscles which is very important for well-being. Brings back memories of childhood which is also good for you. I promise you will feel better if you do this and it is very cheap.

Regards Rob. (approx same age as you, I cycle everyday)

Posted by: Robert Worrill on December 13, 2005 05:20 AM

Been long enough, now.

Expect a call, Lovey....

Posted by: Stevie on December 13, 2005 10:03 AM

LOVE Ted's comment !!! At least you're having SOME fun....

(That's not what I recall reading last time I was here, but this one is much, much better!)

Posted by: Jane on December 14, 2005 09:30 AM

[still snickerin'].....and the URL too!

Posted by: Jane on December 14, 2005 09:32 AM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.