Gut Rumbles

December 09, 2005

let's get interactive

I kinda like the idea, so I'm gonna steal it from her.

Remember the time we...

Please post a comment with a completely fictional memory of you and me. It can be anything you want– good or bad, silly or stupid, believable or not – but it has to be fake. (Don't worry - I'm highly inoffendable!)

When you’re finished, post this paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people don't actually remember about you.

Comments are open. Have at it.



Ahhhh...the memories. Remember Brian? At the last brown eyed blodger meet? The one who "prepped" you for your massage?

I know you would have people believe that all he did was have you sign some forms, promising that you weren't some whack job from SE Georgia and all of that, but I think that it's time the whole story came out, don't you?

I think the thing that clued me in was the fact that the man had both his fingernails and toenails painted fire engine red. You would have us believe that we didn't see you checking that out. And then there was that moment, behind closed doors, when we couldn't see you? I'm not saying anything happened you understand. But the smile on Brian's face when he walked out the door was bigger than Anna Nicole Smith's boobs.

Again, I'm not suggesting anything happened. I'm just saying.

Posted by: Moogie on December 9, 2005 06:15 PM

You know what I'm going to say.

That time at Jeykll when we were swimming and Nancy found that jellyfish looking thing on the beach and freaked out. Fuck, we didn't know what a prothesis was -- otherwise she never would have screamed like that. I mean, Hell, who would have thought that the otherwise fine Model MKVII was prone to penile seperation -- isn't that what stiches are for?

I guess it turned out okay, she tells me that the Mk. VIII is holding up much better, so to speak.

Posted by: You know who on December 9, 2005 06:19 PM

OMG! Remember that time we were hanging out at Cat's when that pissy neighbor came by to Bitch at Cat for trying to catch that big gator? The plan we cooked up to get even with him was priceless! I don't know what Cat used to trap that gator live, but it sure worked. It was what? 2 am when we finally got to put our plan to action?
I didn't know if I was going to be able to drive the truck I was so drunk, but we made it there in one piece. Nothing is funnier then watching two drunk men try to unload a big ass gator and tie it to a front porch. Sure was a shame wasteing all those chickens by throwing them all over the porch, but hey, we'll bbq something else right? The icing on the cake is when you lit that bag of dog shit on fire just before you rang the front door bell.
Ah, good times for sure.

Posted by: Maeve on December 9, 2005 08:03 PM

Oh. Remember you, me and the manatee? My nerve-endings still jangle when I have flashbacks, er, daydreams.

Posted by: Kim on December 9, 2005 09:06 PM

Shit I wanted to post something really funny and naughty in a clean sort of way. But everything seemed so... dirty.

Posted by: livey on December 9, 2005 10:51 PM


I'll never forget that time at the Chalet Kristy when Z-man and me, we were looking for the stash of Chatham's Finest, and we opened your door only to find you in flagrante delicto with the three-legged cat that used to live in the Night Auditor's office. Man, was your face red! With exertion.

The cat was definitely not enjoying itself, though, because you had Auto-Roscoe turned up to "11."

Damn, I thought we'd never stop laughing. Until you got your revenge later that weekend, that is...when you took a dump on what you thought was my car's windshield.

Posted by: Elisson on December 9, 2005 10:56 PM

were in the foxhole together on guard duty? It was freezing, you took out your last cigarette and offered it to me, I declined though it was hard. You broke it in half and we both enjoyed a Lucky Strike just before the mortars started to hit. Those were the days.

Posted by: Sgt Hook on December 9, 2005 11:11 PM

I'll never forget that night in the London restaurant, you, me, and the Group Captain. There was spotted dick on the menu, and you just couldn't get enough. You said it was even better than grits. My God, you must have been drunk.

Posted by: Ernie G on December 10, 2005 12:37 AM

You remember that time I loaned you money?

Yeah well..I'll be wanting it back now.


Posted by: Sandy on December 10, 2005 01:35 AM

...all were sitting around the room during the wrekyl in jekyll and you were playing 'House of the Rising Sun' and the record producer came in and offered you big money to reproduce the song. You turned him down because he wouldn't let your brother play on the album with you. And we all thought you were such a big hero and your brother kissed you and then,,,,,well, we'll let that story stay untold for now!

Posted by: Michele on December 10, 2005 08:08 AM

I was walking down by the bayou and found you sitting on a rock.

I leaned forward and kissed you tenderly on the forehead.

Damn, you're still a freaking FROG!

Posted by: Maggie on December 10, 2005 02:28 PM

Remember the difficulty we had getting through the mountains to the Resistance in Ruritania? Oh my god, the marmots. Vicious little beasts. And then we ran out of ammo, and you said you'd make a break for it and get more from the Graustein armory?

Um, I'm still waiting and I'm running out of rocks ....

Posted by: bad cat robot on December 10, 2005 04:48 PM

… hey, Acidman… remember that time we sat in that field of posies out near your house and played with those cute kitties?... the sunlight gently slanting through the wide branches of those live oaks?...

... do you remember the soft breeze that carried the hint of salt water to us as we sat there surrounded by the quiet mewling of the kittens… I sure do… you wore a flower in your hair as best I can remember.. a bloom from a heliotrope, I think…

.... and I’ll never forget how you lovingly fingerpicked your guitar with the summer sun on your shoulders, and sang songs about pussies to those cute, fuzzy little furballs… and at that moment – a moment I often times go back to when times get hard – all was well in the world…

... remember?...

Posted by: Eric on December 10, 2005 06:24 PM

Hey, remember that time when we were eatin' crawfish, and I showed you my rose tattoo.....and then we realized that both of us would feel better naked (aka...nekkid).......

Posted by: Dogsdontpurr on December 10, 2005 08:30 PM

remember that time when we were in Okinawa, you were talkin about how you wanted to make sweet love to an Asian... I told you I didn't know a place where you could make love but I sure as hell knew a place where you could fuck one..and I got the idea of takin you over to Sopieland... when you got there you got stuck with the hooker who had the C Section scar and started to raise hell about it... afterwards you were talkin about how her lickin your asshole made you kind of confused but your toes never curled that way before... and how you kept talkin about how you didn't feel nearly as clean when you had the Costa Rican whore leave...

Posted by: oakleytexas on December 10, 2005 10:23 PM

There was that time you played the mandolin for me and I went woohooing down the road nekkid.

Posted by: Da Goddess on December 11, 2005 09:11 AM

Christmas a few years ago...taking down Christmas tree up in your living room..
carefully not to get any of the needles on the carpet... i kneel down in front take out one of your Christmas balls..i handle it very to my surpize holding one Christmas ball in my left hand another pops out in my right hand ...handling both balls in both hands...i admire them...they are so festive i handle your Christmas balls i notice the lights on Christmas tree are getting brighter..lights that were once dim are coming i handle your Christmas balls i bring up to my face to see if they smell like the Douglas fur Christmas hot breath makes them a little foggy so i have wipe them clean...i felt real bad making them fog up like that..but as i wiped them clean i left some streaks finger did work...i looked for a tissue but none close what else can a gal do..i took both of those Christmas balls to my mouth and licked them clean...i guess i was to close to the electric cord wow sparks every where ......and now you to Tell the rest of the story if you dear........

Posted by: Joyce on December 11, 2005 02:32 PM


Posted by: livey on December 11, 2005 03:20 PM


He's a damn FROG sitting on a LOG!

Posted by: Maggie on December 11, 2005 05:56 PM

Well keep kissing him and make him Rob again!

Posted by: livey on December 11, 2005 06:17 PM

Remember that time when you were going into rehab, and you asked your readers to write to you, and you promised you'd write back?

Was I just too boring? Was it because I'm a [gasp!] yankee? Did you just not have time? Or was it something else entirely?

For now, I'm telling myself its because you've had a full plate and because you were so busy....

But I'd like the truth....I can take it.

Posted by: Jane on December 12, 2005 04:45 PM
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