Gut Rumbles
 

December 05, 2005

sleepwalking plus

Can you say, "bat-shit crazy judge?" Good. I KNEW you could.

Luedecke claimed he fell asleep on the same couch and woke up when he was thrown to the floor.

He only suspected he had had sex after using the bathroom and discovering he was still wearing a condom, court heard. He confessed to police.

He had sex with the woman while he was asleep, but he still remembered to install a condom on his Roscoe? C'mon, judge! Where the hell is your bullshit detector?

I don't think I've ever had sex in my sleep. I've never heard of "sexsomnia" until now. I HAVE had sex with a few wimmen who might as well have been asleep during the festivities, for all the enthusiasm they displayed (is that "sexnofeelya?), but I was wide awake the entire time.

Right now, I believe that I have a bad case of "lackanookie," but that's a subject for another post...

Okay. I want to conduct a scientific survey here--- how many of YOU people, male or female:

1) Suffer from "sexsomnia"

2) Pretend to be asleep when your partner wants some

3) Believe the judge is fucked in the head

I report; you decide.

Comments

The question is was it sleep or a alcohol induced brown out? I woke up having sex one time, with a co-worker after a day and night of excess on the couch at another co-workers apartment. Best part, we didn't even like each other very much but shit happens when you put two people in a room after 12 hours of partying. Can two people do the walk of shame?

Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy on December 5, 2005 08:54 AM

What a cool defense! Does it work for other crimes?

"Yes, your honor. My client brutally stabbed the man 45 times in the chest. But she has this condition. It's called homi-somnia. She was sleep stabbing."

"That poor woman. Case dismissed!"

Posted by: Ruth on December 5, 2005 09:01 AM

Well I'm not siding with the judge but there are drugs that she could've given him. He could have been zonked out by the drugs and the woman could've had her way with him, thus installing the condom on his Roscoe, fucking him silly and leaving when she was done. I don't know about you all but my Roscoe works even when I'm dead asleep, it'll also wake me up if Daisy is fooling around with it. (Daisy, Roscoe - Dukes of Hazard theme ..... LOL). Anyway, maybe she had an alterior motive. Who really knows but the judge and the woman, personally I don't give two SHITS. So fuck it.....

Steven
aka Slacker

Posted by: Steven on December 5, 2005 09:38 AM

Nope, nope, nope.

I have been a sleepwalker in my time. To the degree that I could sit up, smoke a cigarette, have a coherent conversation, carry out tasks, and function....and have no memory of it. So, if you can do all that while sleep walking, why couldn't you have sex, too? This is totally without the influence of alcohol. She's lucky, it's bad to wake up a sleepwalking person.

Posted by: Kelly on December 5, 2005 10:02 AM

Why not?
If females can use PMS as a reason to go off on your ass, why the hell not?
Or maybe it was like riding a Moped...you know it's fun, but you don't wanna say you rode it on purpose.

Posted by: Marcus on December 5, 2005 10:06 AM

My 2nd ex-wife used to occasionally sleep-fuck. I'd wake up to her masturbating in her sleep, get involved, and we'd wind up going at it with her eyes wide open but her mind somewhere way off in a dream.

Posted by: Arcs on December 5, 2005 10:11 AM

I have been sound asleep (sober) and woke

up in the middle of having sex. Never did

understand how that went down.

Posted by: Arathorn on December 5, 2005 11:07 AM

Well it's not the first time I've ever heard of that defense. A kid at UMASS used it and he walked over from his room to the vic's room and cut off her clothes with a pair of scissors before he did the deed. I think she was passed out from drinking so didn't wake up until it was over. He claimed no memory and did have a history of sleepwalking. I think it was a jury trial and he was found guilty but I can't remember for sure.

As for the survey, (1) no. I have always been awake for sex - near as I can remember, it's been almost exactly 2 years since my last love affair failed.
(2)No but my first husband used to wake me out of sound sleep all the time, to get some.
(3)Yes.

Posted by: Libby on December 5, 2005 11:43 AM

I am a UMass graduate and thats one of the MILDER things that went on.

As a matter of fact we used to refer to the university as ZOO Mass....

Passed out from drinking at UMass? And in other news......

Posted by: Ruth on December 5, 2005 11:46 AM

Maybe the word you're looking for is necroparunia? (dead-sex)

"Sexophilia" would be love for sex, lol.

Yeah, that's such bullshit. It's called blacking out and doing stuff while you're drunk as hell, but you know wtf you're doing at the time. Maybe the chick gave him a roofie?

Posted by: Cythen on December 5, 2005 12:27 PM

GAH meant necropareunia. Forgot the E. That's what I get for forging medical language when I just wake up and without my auto-correct. LOL

Posted by: cythen on December 5, 2005 12:29 PM

Okay, I think sexsomnia is total crap, but unless there's more to the case than that story shows, there wasn't enough evidence to convict him of sexual assault. Sounds like he said/she said to me, and no one should go to jail based on that.

Posted by: lionel and shell on December 5, 2005 12:35 PM

My wife's nick name is "Possum" because of her ability to fake sleeping in order to avoid sex. There's a very narrow time window at my house. Always has been.

Posted by: Sticky B on December 5, 2005 12:56 PM

Judge is fucked in the head

Posted by: lefty on December 5, 2005 02:50 PM

I woke up after sex, that's how I got pregnant with my second child.
I've faked sleep to avoid sex with my (ex) husband, I hated that fucker.
I've done lots of weird things while sleepwalking.
I don't know if I do it anymore, nobody around to tell me. But I have woke up somewhere I didn't fall asleep.
And I don't drink, so I can't blame it on that.

Posted by: livey on December 5, 2005 03:29 PM

Sexsomnia has to be real. I saw it on an episode of House, M.D., and television would never lie to me...

...

Right?

Posted by: Robin S. on December 5, 2005 07:03 PM

I'll take door number 3. The judge is definately fucked in the head. Most judges are nowadays.

Posted by: assrot on December 5, 2005 07:27 PM

To answer your question: The judge is fucked in the head!

Posted by: Bob on December 5, 2005 08:26 PM

No, the judge isn't fucked - this can happen. My wife gets this sometimes, it was really funny, the first time it happened she woke me up in the middle of the night, we got it on for quite a while, I went back to sleep and in the morning she was like, "Damn, why are you all smiles this morning?"

After a fairly entertainingly confused few minutes we both realized what had happened - and that she had zero memory of it all!

Posted by: Jaime on December 6, 2005 12:56 AM

I have walked in my sleep to the point where I left the building and woke up outside my apartment buck naked. I have woke up more than once in the middle of sex with my wife several times. All of this was done cold sober, but please I never put a condom on--give me a break.

Posted by: shastarob on December 7, 2005 12:35 AM
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