Gut Rumbles

December 02, 2005

lemme ass you a question

Are we really suffering an outbreak of wide-load asses, especially among wimmen today? Doctors think so, and Queenie gets... right to the bottom of this story. Some cheeky chick probably will rear up and sue over damage caused by the larger needles required to penetrate to the muscle through the layers of lard adorning female asses today.

I have an almost irresistable urge to make a few smart cracks here, but I'm going to refrain from butting heads with the easily insulted. Besides--- I haven't done a lot of research in this anatomical area and I'm willing to give wimmen the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe they're getting a bum rap.


You need your ass paddled, after a crappy load of puns like that.


Posted by: Light & Dark on December 2, 2005 11:03 PM

Ain't no junk in MY trunk, TYVM.

Posted by: Lil Toni on December 2, 2005 11:14 PM


Don't fuck with my bitch.


I hope all is well.

Posted by: Yabu on December 3, 2005 12:18 AM

The women in this country as a whole are beautiful, but you have a large percentage of lard asses out there also. Try sliding some 6-700 pound lard ass down a couple of flights of stairs, or worse out of a single wide mobile home. They always pick the worst place in the home to lay down and start screaming for an ambulance....I've moved a lot of the gut busters while wishing they would explode so they would weigh less. ha ha

Posted by: scrapiron on December 3, 2005 12:24 AM

While sober avoid puns.

Posted by: lambo on December 3, 2005 01:16 AM

Haven't you heard? Lardassedness is a disease. Some people just can't help it. They even support groups for it called "Overeaters Anonymous" because they can't put the fork down and push away from the plate. Obviously, they are just weak, food-guzzling, fat asses.

Posted by: Renee on December 3, 2005 07:44 AM

Wide load seems to be the standard chassis in these
Disunited States. Get a load of the plethora of child porkers.

Posted by: Brett on December 3, 2005 08:20 AM

Heh...thanks for the mention, O sober one. I am preoccupied with the large ass issue these days...

Posted by: Queenie on December 3, 2005 09:15 AM

God, I hope so. Thos anorectic broads that look like little boys asses leave me cold. Gimme something to hang on to, futhuchrissakes.

Posted by: og on December 3, 2005 09:20 AM

Made me turn around and look at mine. Bloggers ass...ugh.

Posted by: Kelly on December 3, 2005 10:16 AM

Ouch. Puns about buns before breakfast? If this is an effect of the 12 step program, maybe you should rethink the sobriety thing -- just kidding.

I'll admit it made me laugh. Don't tell anyone but I love puns.

Posted by: Libby on December 3, 2005 10:16 AM

So, you like big butts and you cannot lie?


Posted by: Cythen on December 3, 2005 01:58 PM

Man, I've always had no butt. Now that I'm older it's that flat, obnoxious, even-more no butt thing. If I ever have to have a shot there it will go through me to the other side.

Posted by: Kim on December 3, 2005 02:12 PM

Hurrah for Kim! Svelte rules.

Posted by: Brett on December 3, 2005 03:27 PM

Just go to Walmart on any given day. If that doesn't cause you to lose your lunch, nothing will.

Posted by: Wayne on December 3, 2005 03:29 PM

After that barrage of Ass-Based Puns, you oughta be dragged off and shot.

But no. Fun demented people are hard to come by.

Posted by: Elisson on December 3, 2005 06:06 PM

I ain't got no problem with the big butts. Now there are some huge asses up in Washington DC that I can rant about...

Posted by: GUYK on December 3, 2005 07:57 PM

Wish I had something really witty to say....butt....butt butt...butt, I don't.

Posted by: Tessa on December 3, 2005 08:25 PM

Hey, Fat bottomed girls make the rock'n world go round right?

Welcome home Acidman, I hope I'm not out of line, but I admire your grit and think you a great role model for our young Amerians.

And I loved the puns.

Posted by: Sgt Hook on December 3, 2005 10:55 PM

"Americans" even.

Posted by: Sgt Hook on December 3, 2005 10:56 PM

Sorry, but(t) it's genetic. I had 'back' even when I weighed 100 pounds.

Posted by: Juliette on December 3, 2005 11:09 PM

1. Sweet tea.
2. Chik Filet.
Two things I have seen ad nauseum on my now several trips to South Carolina.
Granted , some of it's genetic (my kids have bitched for years that I didn't give them any butt genes.) But, seriously -- daughter has been in nursing school since son-in-law got stationed in SC -- diabetes and related disorders are endemic in the area. High sugar/starch diet and too much asssitting. Not that its just the south, mind you -- we have plenty of lard asses all over the country -- young and old -- the kids are really sad. Don't get me started.

Posted by: Marianne on December 4, 2005 02:36 AM

asshole Rob, Rob knows...old pun from school days, seemed apropos somehow...

Posted by: Circa Bellum on December 4, 2005 09:11 AM

This could be inadvertant darwinism, you know.

Posted by: Roy on December 4, 2005 08:21 PM
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