Gut Rumbles

November 04, 2005

I can see myself doing this....

The ultimate revenge on those asshole snail-mail spammers who fill your mailbox, and therefore your garbage can, with paper. And it's completely legal!

Tired of receiving mounds of unsolicited letters and offers in the mail? Want to fight back? Want to get rid of that old tire in your garage that the garbage man won't take? Then read on......

If you're curious why this document was developed, it was due to the hundreds of unsolicited letters sent to me by a very annoying company called MCI. They love to mail people unsolicited letters 1-2 times per week despite requesting to be taken off their mailing lists. Well, here's a completely LEGAL way to fight back against idiots like MCI. You can mail their junk back to them for FREE using their own postage-paid envelopes. The only catch is that it will be attached to 50 lbs of additional junk you've gathered from around your house (rocks, bricks, old shingles, etc.). This works, so please read on....

Go here, and, as they say, read the whole thing. Let me know if you try it yourself.


Doesn't work, sad to say.

Oh, apparently it used to, but the Post office dead letters those things these days.

Posted by: Rick C on November 4, 2005 05:21 PM

Looks like the thing for old printers, monitors, etc....:-)...!

Posted by: JWMcDonald on November 4, 2005 05:45 PM

The PO won't let you mail a box with a taped on postage paid envelope. It has to be a postage paid LABEL.

Posted by: Jeffro on November 4, 2005 07:27 PM

You can still put all your junk mail in it and give some temp a job at the far end opening envelopes and throwing it all away.

Posted by: Bane on November 4, 2005 08:21 PM

or you can cut up the envelope and make it look like a label and tape that on....

Posted by: caltechgirl on November 4, 2005 10:19 PM

The NY Times always sends me a postage paid envelope with the letter inquiring if I am interested in home delivery.

I enjoy using that envelope to send them a little "love note" telling them why I won't buy their rag!

Posted by: Maggie on November 5, 2005 07:11 AM

None of that will work. The Post Office will trash can any large items taped to a business reply piece. The merchandise return labels mentioned above are completely different and yes, the postal employees are smart enough to tell the difference.

You can, however, put as much stuff in the prepaid envelope as you can fit and mail it and the originating company has to pay the postage on it. They get tons of stuff like that every day and trust me, it's not a big surprise or a problem for someone like MCI.

Keep in mind that marketers need a way to present their products to you. If you close one door it opens another. When everyone started signing up for the "do not call" telephone list, companies started sending door-to-door solicitors out. Which is worse?

I venture to bet that a piece of mail has never gotten you off of the toilet or interrupted your dinner, so what's the harm?

Be aware that one out of every nine people in this country get a large percentage if not all of their income from the mail. This includes printers, tree farmers, paper mills, trucking companies, postal employees and yes, mailers.

And, it's more environmentally friendly than newspapers. Mailers tend to target mailings to those most likely to respond, unlike tons of newspaper advertising, and use recycled paper and soy bean based inks.

It's fun to talk about pranks like the bricks and tires, but they're urban myths. What I like to do, is write letters to the people and send them in the postage paid envelopes. Stuff like "stop sending the magazines, I never bought a subscription but they keep coming." I got a whole slew of correspondence from the Wall Street Journal trying to figure out why I was getting the newspaper every day and how...

Posted by: Circa Bellum on November 5, 2005 07:12 AM

Fill the prepaid envelope with lead shot (available at your local gun shop) ... as much as it can hold. Its perfectly legal, and it all fits inside the envelope. I know because I've done it. Enjoy!

Posted by: Vulgorilla on November 5, 2005 08:27 PM

Sounds like shooting the messenger to me...why punish the letter carriers?

Posted by: Trish on November 6, 2005 10:08 AM

Business Reply Envelopes usually go to a contract direct-mail agency, seldom the company named on the envelope.

An easier way to limit mail offers is to opt off the Direct Mail Association's list. Send them a letter and tell tem you'd rather not receive direct-mail advertising. See

Direct Mail association has an opt-out for e-mail, also.

Opting out doesn't save you from the mailer using his own lists or a "every house on the block" approach.


Posted by: djsloan.houston on November 6, 2005 09:24 PM

trish, honey, ya missed the point...

its no punishment to letter carriers, they get paid to handle and deliver whatever we send, the punishment is to the sender. a postage paid envelope is a blank check. the heavier it is the more the original sender has to pay when you ship it back

Posted by: heath on November 6, 2005 09:25 PM

More than 30-years ago I did this - stuffed the reply envelope as full as I could with the stuff they sent me and old coffee grounds. Someone must have paid attention - I began to get less and less of this type mail.

Posted by: Juan Paxety on November 7, 2005 12:29 PM
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