Gut Rumbles

October 20, 2005

ready as I'm gonna get

I'm supposed to be at the hospital sometime around noon tomorrow. I'm packed and ready to go. I stored all my expensive guitars in someone else's care and all of my non-existent guns are out of the house, too. The only things left are furniture, and if someone wants to break in and steal that shit, it's all insured.

I've lined up some guest bloggers to keep the home fires burning. Sorry, guys. I picked ALL WIMMEN to do that for me. I figured that a testosterone-driven, sexist, mysogonistic site such as mine should get in touch with its feminine side. I'm going to let the ladies take charge.

Six weeks is a long time, but I'll be back eventually. In a lot better shape than I am now, I hope.

I gathered these supplies yesterday:

* Ten cartons of cigarettes
* Six books of stamps
* 100 envelopes
* Six legal pads of writing paper
* A box of ball point pens

If you write me, I WILL respond, and I'd like to see the mail-cart stuffed every day. The last post I make before I leave will the address of the place.

Wish me luck.


Your wit and wisdom will be missed, but all the best to u Rob. I'll be pullin for ya, and will be one of many to stuff that mail cart.
Don't cho go fergittin' that address now, ya hea?!

Posted by: Lil Toni on October 20, 2005 12:09 PM


Posted by: Lil Toni on October 20, 2005 12:11 PM

Best of luck Acidman, I'll be thinking of you.

Posted by: jim on October 20, 2005 12:17 PM

Rob, of course we wish you luck from our house!! We'll miss ya, but you'll be in our thoughts and, even though you hate it, prayers!! Love ya, Kel....

Posted by: Kellie on October 20, 2005 12:22 PM

Good luck Rob. I'll be counting the days til you get back, and I'll write all the way from Alaska.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on October 20, 2005 12:27 PM

Bejus-speed !

Posted by: Jane on October 20, 2005 12:28 PM

You're letting the women take over? Next thing you know, there'll be pink, ruffly stuff all over the place. And cats. Lots of cats.

At least your furniture will match the drapes after they're done.

Posted by: cranky-d on October 20, 2005 12:29 PM

You will survive. Your too bullheaded not to. Good Luck

Posted by: lefty on October 20, 2005 12:30 PM

Good luck, Rob.

Posted by: Donnie on October 20, 2005 12:35 PM

Good luck acidman and may godzilla bless you.

Posted by: gravdigr on October 20, 2005 12:35 PM

Very funny, Cranky-D, but I doubt they'll dare to venture into his kitchen.

May the force be with you, Rob.

Posted by: Maggie on October 20, 2005 12:36 PM

Remember, "The more we complain...the longer God let's us live." What the heck, give it a try. Give 'em hell Rob and come back soon.

Posted by: Roger on October 20, 2005 12:40 PM

Damn, 6 weeks! You're gonna need more smokes. Best of luck.

Posted by: Noodles on October 20, 2005 12:41 PM

... Good luck, Rob....

Posted by: Eric on October 20, 2005 12:42 PM

Godspeed Rob. You will be getting mail from the mad (aka nuts) Connecticut housewife!

Posted by: Ruth on October 20, 2005 12:52 PM

I've already bought several cards to send ya - all have cats on them!!

Love and Kisses


Posted by: Patty on October 20, 2005 12:56 PM

Luck Rob. See you on the flip side.

Posted by: Libby on October 20, 2005 01:04 PM

Good Luck Rob

Posted by: Ron on October 20, 2005 01:04 PM

Good Luck, Rob. You'll be in better shape - just don't let 'em take your spirit away, K ?

Posted by: Barb on October 20, 2005 01:13 PM

Geez, Rob, will that be enough?

Posted by: caltechgirl on October 20, 2005 01:20 PM

Take it easy, man. Catch you on the other side.

Posted by: LL on October 20, 2005 01:22 PM

You will probably run through 100 envelopes in a day ... I suggest that everyone who writes to Rob includes a self-addressed STAMPED envelope for him to use when returning sentiments.

Posted by: Max Doubt on October 20, 2005 01:26 PM

May need some more stamps because there will be some sending you printed copies of article and replies from those gals you let in the house.

Keep the faith in yourself because you are the only thing you have to worry about right now. I kind of figure that if a man takes care of himself first then the rest will all fall into its place. Wishing you the best

Posted by: GUYK on October 20, 2005 01:30 PM

Can you receive care packages?

Posted by: Cythen on October 20, 2005 01:34 PM

Awesome. You will NOT regret this. Don't forget that address!

Max has a great idea as far as including self-address/stamped envelopes for Rob to return. Just saves time, and would make his replying easier :-D

Posted by: LC Corey on October 20, 2005 01:36 PM

Good luck Rob! We'll miss you while you're gone and anxiously await your return! Just know that you have a lot of people sitting on the sidelines cheering you on.

Posted by: Beth on October 20, 2005 01:50 PM

Best of luck to you, Bro. We still have some recordin' to do.

Posted by: Jim -PRS on October 20, 2005 01:53 PM

Best wishes Rob!

Posted by: Sharon on October 20, 2005 01:58 PM

Good luck honey, but where am I supposed to write to?
Or don't you want me to write...?

Posted by: Misty on October 20, 2005 02:02 PM

Good Luck A-Man. You may need more stamps and envelopes... Many of us are sending good thoughts your way and looking foward to your return.

Posted by: Florida Bill on October 20, 2005 02:17 PM

They won't let you exercise because it's addictive, but they let you take cigarettes.

Makes perfect sense.

Good luck and remember to tie your gown in the back. For the children.

Posted by: Steve H. on October 20, 2005 02:24 PM

Take care and good luck, Rob. We'll be keeping you in our thoughts and looking forward to your return.

Posted by: Robert on October 20, 2005 02:28 PM

Good luck, stay the course, and keep that positive attitude. Since no one has mentioned it: Beware of Rehab Romances! (That way madness lies. Seen it and it ain't pretty.) You will almost certainly find kindrid spirits among your fellows-in-treatment. Looked at in retrospect it's basic training for a change in lifestyle. Almost 5 years for me now and it's still amazing to wake up remembering what I did all the way to bed the night before.

Posted by: Stu on October 20, 2005 02:33 PM

Good Luck Rob and remember you have lots of love.

Posted by: Livey on October 20, 2005 02:48 PM

To those who wonder about cigarettes being allowed: nicotine is often permitted because its THE strongest addiction to break. My M.D. once told me "you don't end up face down or pulled out of a smashed car because you smoked too many cigarettes in a row." Expect smoking to be strictly regulated to certain times and areas. After a day or so one gets the routine down. Many who need to be clear of drugs and alcohol might not make it in voluntary sobriety if that crutch is also required to be given up at the same time.

Posted by: Stu on October 20, 2005 02:53 PM

Good luck!

Posted by: Kelly on October 20, 2005 02:59 PM

Hope the wimmen guest bloggers (in no particular order) are KEY, QUEENIE and STEVIE, that would make your absence bearable.

Posted by: Ruth on October 20, 2005 03:06 PM

Good Luck Rob!
Make a collage of the cat pics the jokesters will send you :) At least it will be something different during the "arts and crafts therapy " time...

Posted by: delftsman3 on October 20, 2005 03:23 PM

Good luck, and thanks for the example, bubba. You may be saving more lives than your own.

Posted by: Bane on October 20, 2005 03:25 PM

I'll mail you a big cat photo. ;)

Posted by: Laurence Simon on October 20, 2005 03:47 PM

Try to keep your hands off the nursing staff.

Posted by: gordon the all knowing and self-actualized on October 20, 2005 03:52 PM

Good luck, Rob. I will write to you, but in exchange, YOU WILL take one of my Bengal kittens. You will never, ever hate a cat again after having me. It'll have to be a male too because they are so mischevious, rambunctious, loving, alarm clock, crafty creatures you will ever meet. Hell, you can't go wrong with a cat that looks and acts like a Bengal tiger. It fits you to a "T."

Posted by: surfie on October 20, 2005 04:16 PM


Posted by: Ruth on October 20, 2005 04:20 PM

I'll shoot a cat for you while you are gone.

Posted by: robert on October 20, 2005 04:27 PM

I'll miss you, but I'm glad it'll only be six weeks and not forever. Hang in there!

Posted by: MH on October 20, 2005 04:29 PM

I'll not only wish you good luck, I'm gonna give you some orders:

You will:
Get your ass into that rehab WITH a positive attitude, you WILL get all your shit into one sock and you WILL straighten up that jet and fly right, mister.

That is all.

We got your six, Mister, you just fly your bird.

And by the way, we WILL be waiting for that book you're gonna write when you get that head screwed back on straight.

Posted by: Rivrdog on October 20, 2005 04:46 PM

Best of luck to you, my man. I'll miss you.

Posted by: Barb on October 20, 2005 04:47 PM

No pinching the nurses, now! : D Oh hell, they're probably guys anyway....I was going to say they were probably butt ugly so no one ever pinched them. Then I remembered no one has ever pinched me so i better keep my mouth shut....

Judging by the comments, it's a good thing you can't have a lot of stuff with you because I have a feeling you would be getting a ton of big, stuffed animals in the shape of cats in the mail!

The one thing you will get, however, is writer's cramp, that's for sure! The US Postal Service is going to think the Christmas rush came early!

Posted by: A Different Kim on October 20, 2005 05:01 PM

Rob -
We'll be thinking of you--take care

Posted by: peggy on October 20, 2005 05:04 PM

Lots of luck!

Posted by: Kim on October 20, 2005 05:08 PM

Doh! Was in a hurry when I left the last comment. Sorry!
I have stuff ready to send, so don't forget that last post!
And again, X

Posted by: Misty on October 20, 2005 05:21 PM

Best Wishes and at least TRY to be good:)

Posted by: SK on October 20, 2005 05:37 PM

Rob, can we also have a list of what we can and cannot send you?

Expect an Acidbath of mail!

Posted by: ScottG on October 20, 2005 06:10 PM

Good luck Rob! Keep in contact with us as much as you can via the guest bloggers and snail mail! We're all pulling for you. You're too damn stubborn to fail! See ya in a couple months.

Posted by: Leuthen on October 20, 2005 06:57 PM

I already sent you an email saying good luck. I hope things work out for you. How you going to get better with 6 cartons of cigarettes?

Posted by: assrot on October 20, 2005 06:59 PM

acidbro...allow me to wish you hatzlacha(success) and refuah sh'loimeh (a complete recovery). i think you're so awesome. zol de koyach zayn mit dir (that's yiddish for "may the force be with you).

Posted by: erica on October 20, 2005 07:00 PM

I'm pullin' for you, 'Bro. Get yourself well!

Posted by: cop on October 20, 2005 07:16 PM

that's a good idea Max, I have a feeling Rob will be getting a LOT of mail!

Posted by: Maeve on October 20, 2005 07:27 PM

Mr Rob,you do what you have to do to get yourself right-if you need smokes or anything else let me know i will send them asap.j

Posted by: j on October 20, 2005 08:14 PM


I have a stack of envelopes ready to go. Be talking to you, buddy.

Stay the course. We are all pulling for you.

Posted by: Jay on October 20, 2005 08:16 PM

Best of Luck Rob. I will be pulling for you.

Posted by: TC on October 20, 2005 08:39 PM

Do it well! and don't be a dick.
Look forward to the address and your return.

Posted by: War Dog on October 20, 2005 08:47 PM

Acidman, I'm going to wish you all the best of luck, though I doubt if you'll need it. I seem to remember someone saying once or twice, "If it was easy, any sumbitch could do it. But it ain't. That's why I'm doing it."

Now, don't forget to give the wimmen rules about your house before you leave. You know: no cats, no cuddly pictures, no flowers...that kinda stuff. Unless it's Sam. In which case, who's gonna argue?

Anyway, best of luck and expect a kite from a Damn Yankee to keep you company.

And Max Doubt has the right idea, SASE is the way to go for the infirm and deranged that think 100 envelopes will cut the mail Acidbath coming your way.

Come back clear and clean. We'll be waiting.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on October 20, 2005 09:34 PM

" such as mine should get in touch with its feminine side..."

So I'm wrong, in your past writing there wasn't a feminine side....? Just kidding Blogfather. The best to you every day on the "Inside" and anxiously awaiting your return.

Nothing to you but the very VERY BEST, Rob.


Posted by: Dave Drake on October 20, 2005 09:45 PM

Good luck, Rob. As we Hebes would say, a refuah sh'leimah to you: a complete and speedy recovery.

Posted by: Elisson on October 20, 2005 09:48 PM

Give it hell, you nasty old Cracker-ass.

Is sending pR0n mags permissible?

Posted by: rightisright on October 20, 2005 10:04 PM

I'll be thinking of you rob -- all the best.

Posted by: Shawn kielty on October 20, 2005 10:13 PM

Ummm, I don't think 100 envelopes will nearlly cover it, if you're going to answer ALL your mail. Take Care,and think # 1.

Posted by: keeper of the dogs on October 20, 2005 10:29 PM

Get your money's worth, and then some.

Posted by: Bonita on October 20, 2005 10:51 PM

Are you going to take something to light the cigarettes? If you get as many letters as I hope, it might be advised for people to include a SASP envelope. Good luck.

Posted by: Woody on October 20, 2005 10:51 PM

See Ya when you get back!

Posted by: Dax Montana on October 20, 2005 11:00 PM

I want to wish you all the best, Rob. I've never posted a comment to you before, but I wanted to send my very best wishes to you before you left. We'll all be anxiously awaiting your return.

Posted by: Annette on October 20, 2005 11:21 PM

Take care dude. Oh, and why not pick one wall of your room to wallpaper with all the cat photos you'll be receiving.

It's 'cause we love ya, y'know! ;P

Posted by: Desert Cat on October 20, 2005 11:30 PM

Isn't there something about accepting the things we cannot change? I have a feeling that a cat theme to many of the messages may be something that cannot be changed:)

Best of luck, come back with a new lease on life

Posted by: ann on October 21, 2005 12:01 AM

Goodbye, Acidman.

Posted by: Brett on October 21, 2005 12:54 AM

I'm pulling for you, Acidman. You're a tough old bird and I know you can do this. You'll get at least a post card. All the best.

Posted by: Aquila on October 21, 2005 01:15 AM

Good luck, Rob. Go get your shit wired up tight. We'll be thinking of you.

Posted by: jmon on October 21, 2005 02:22 AM

I am determined to find a card that has a cat with red painted toenails.
Just joking, A-Man. We are all pulling for you. I know your Momma is so proud, and yes, she knows.

Posted by: Library Lady on October 21, 2005 03:29 AM

I am so proud of you, Rob. I will be thinking of you. Sending healing vibes your way.

Posted by: Cindi on October 21, 2005 04:26 AM

g'luck sir.

Posted by: shane on October 21, 2005 06:22 AM

All the best wishes. djs

Posted by: DJSloan/Houston on October 21, 2005 09:26 AM

Good Luck, and I'll be checking here daily to see what news we get from you.

Hey, maybe this will be the incentive I need to finally get a good pedicure so I can send a picture of some good looking red toenails!

Posted by: LibraryGryffon on October 21, 2005 09:52 AM

Probably should feel sorry for the staff, having to put up with a crusty old cracker like Rob.

Best wishes from Down Under, Rob, and hope it all goes well for you.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on October 21, 2005 09:58 AM

refuah shleymah.

Posted by: santos on October 21, 2005 09:58 AM

Good look Acidman, we'll be missing ya while you're getting cleaned up. Hurry back man.

Posted by: Heath on October 21, 2005 10:02 AM

Good luck Rob!

Posted by: Moogie on October 21, 2005 10:05 AM

Good luck! I hope it works out for you!

Posted by: U on October 21, 2005 10:07 AM

Good luck, Rob! We will look forward to your return.

Posted by: Renee on October 21, 2005 10:24 AM

Rock on, Rob.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver on October 21, 2005 10:39 AM

God speed Rob...every journey begins with the first step bro - you will be back and blogging better than ever before you know it!!

Posted by: KevinP on October 21, 2005 12:55 PM
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