Gut Rumbles

October 18, 2005

it's a schedule

The hospital can't take me until Friday, which really isn't a bad thing. I have time to get my affairs in order before then.

I've arranged transportation, and I have someone to pick up my mail and pay my bills (how many people would YOU trust with a stack of signed blank checks? I'm going to do exactly that.).

I talked to the hospital admissions people on the phone today, and based on the interview information I gave them when I first called, they want me in a six-week program. The cost is astronomical and my insurance won't cover diddly-squat. I almost dropped the phone when I heard that shit. SWEET BEJUS!!! This is gonna cost me more than most people earn in a year!

But I'm going to do it anyway. Money is no good if you're not alive to spend it. And if I don't get off the track I'm on, I'll be dead in less than six months.

I was thinking today.... I haven't done a lot of things I would like to do.

* I've never learned to scuba dive. I've grown up around the water and I once was an excellent swimmer, but I never learned to strap on a tank and take a deep plunge. I want to do that.

* I've never made love to an Oriential woman. I've covered most of the rest of the spectrum, but I've never bedded an Asian woman. Maybe it really does go sideways. I want to find out.

* I've never been skeet shooting. I've been bird hunting numerous times, but I've never stood on a range and shot clay pigeons. I think that would be a lot of fun.

* I've never seen the Grand Canyon. I want to, on another cross-country car ride, this time on a southern route, across the Texas panhandle and through the Painted Desert. Then, maybe up the west coast highway for the entire length of California.

I still have things I want to do. Six weeks in confinement and a shit-pot full of money is a small price to pay for the opportunity.


On your trip to CA, come all the way up th coast and come visist me. I am your alter ego, maybe just another ego, whatever. Just come stay with me inone of the most beautiful spots in the world. SanJuan Island. My town is Friday Harbor. Its always friday here. Just get here and I'll supplyu the wine.

Matt l

Posted by: mattwynn on October 18, 2005 03:07 AM

Anything practical any of us can do to help?

If you want a trip to Canberra, Australia anytime, let me know, and I'll act as Native Guide.

Onya AcidDude. Good luck, and may it be as least uncomfy as possible. C U on the other side.

Posted by: Zoe Brain on October 18, 2005 03:34 AM

Matt is right, I've been to San Juan Island - gorgeous.
I'm a few hundred miles south in the San Francisco Bay Area and would love to salute ya as you coast through Half Moon Bay!

Posted by: A Different Kim on October 18, 2005 04:47 AM

Well, let's see, I've done 2 out of the 4 (seen the Grand Canyon and been skeet shooting) don't plan on ever making love to an Oriental woman so that leaves learning to scuba dive for me!

Posted by: Michele on October 18, 2005 04:59 AM

Try it, youll like it! Hang tough BTW - Im still missing 1 and half of number 4

Posted by: phil on October 18, 2005 05:14 AM

Grand Canyon - I loved it! You'll have to take the off-road trip which ends up at dusk on the rim of the Canyon. The sun setting across the walls of the canyon is beauty beyond my words.

Definitely worth living for....I'd go again in a heartbeat.

Posted by: Maggie on October 18, 2005 06:50 AM

Well, I've never seen the Grand Canyon and you might get the surprise of your life with an oriental woman AKA LBFMs

Posted by: GUYK on October 18, 2005 07:18 AM

acidman your a daily read, i don't comment all that much... however I'm a Marine stationed in Japan and I feel it is my duty to let you live your life through me so I'll go poke some orientials for you... after all you got the coastia rica whore guess i've got to get teh asian whore...

Posted by: oakleytexas on October 18, 2005 07:49 AM

I was thinking today.... I haven't done a lot of things I would like to do.

One foot in front of the other.

You're gonna make it all right.

Posted by: McGehee on October 18, 2005 09:03 AM

Make sure you stop by my little neck of the woods when you drive through Calif. It's not as pretty as the San Juan Islands or Frisco, but we do have the San Juan Capsitrano Mission.

Posted by: Maeve on October 18, 2005 09:29 AM

:) I have added your hospital stay to my calendar, so I can send prayers your way during your confinement.


As long as you are breaking the bank, maybe a cheapo laptop would be in order - something that you can use at the hospital to stay linked to your buds, and do SOME blogging, and, of course, look at a little internet porn. :) Perhaps internet porn of oriental women. You would have to coordinate with the hospital to find what was possible there in terms of hookup (might be little or nothing), but I see you as potentially having a lot of time trapped in the land-o-meds and maybe (hopefully not) uncomfortable but certainly in need of distraction and mental exercise. If you can't bring a geek box, maybe some good books, and books on tape. You are going to need something to keep you from going nuts.

As for guest blogging, I would be willing to throw in the occasional rant. Check my profile and drop me a line. I am sure I won't be as crusty, I mean ummm, charming as you, but I can try.


Posted by: Misandrope on October 18, 2005 09:38 AM

About that skeet shooting: It's fun, but they are a bitch to clean.

All the best, Rob. See you in six weeks.

Posted by: Ernie G on October 18, 2005 09:58 AM

That's the spirit.

I'm your age and I've still got 2 things on my list and god damn it, I am determined to do them.

Posted by: MM on October 18, 2005 10:02 AM

Back when I worked for the rich guy, we had a company retreat at Bray's Island in Sheldon, SC. I shot clay pigeons there as a handsome British instructor stood by, whispering "Pull!" at the appropriate moment. He told me I shot clay pigeons as if I'd been shooting into the air for a lifetime. After a time I graduated to clay rabbits running along the ground and I could hit them on my own, without the bon mots from the instructor. It was a blast, and I hope you try it!

Posted by: Renee on October 18, 2005 10:04 AM

Definete does not go sideways, I remember Sung from the Flak Club, Augsburg Germany. Thank You US Army.

Posted by: john beard on October 18, 2005 10:54 AM


I've done all four on your list. You'll like them all. Trust me.

Once those are done, add more to the list.

Next up for me? Well, I won't go into details, but let's just say that it involves Demi Moore, Angie Harmon, a trapeze, and large curd cottage cheese...

Posted by: Rich on October 18, 2005 11:27 AM

Imma S.A.R. diver! I'll larn ya!
Sendin u a few pics....

Posted by: Lil Toni on October 18, 2005 12:00 PM

Highly recommend the scuba diving thing. I learned to scuba dive, and I am terrified of even getting in a swimming pool. So my first experience in the ocean was 60 feet under....also saw my first shark in the flesh. Go for it.

Come back soon, you old goat. I don't comment often, but I read your site nearly everyday.

Posted by: Ally on October 18, 2005 12:35 PM

Skip the panhandle of Texas and come through the Hill Country,have a stay here in Kerrville, and lose your heart to the hills. Just make it summertime so you can go sit in the emerald Guadalupe River and relax. I guarantee you will not be dissapointed. Oh and bring a guitar or two, There is more music here than you could shake stick at.

Posted by: gravdigr on October 18, 2005 12:35 PM

Ok I'm dumb what does "maybe it really does go sideways" mean?

Posted by: livey on October 18, 2005 12:46 PM

Their eyes livey, their eyes, then use you imagination.

Posted by: gravdigr on October 18, 2005 01:03 PM

The Grand Canyon is the biggest damn ditch I've ever seen...That is a fact.

Posted by: Sam on October 18, 2005 01:28 PM

nm some Ernie guy emailed me the explanation, thanks dude, you're a doll.

Posted by: livey on October 18, 2005 02:15 PM

Nope, not sideways, but every other way for sure!

Posted by: Ed on October 18, 2005 04:03 PM

If you make it all the way up the west coast, keep moving till you hit Seattle. It's pretty here :-)

Posted by: Barb on October 18, 2005 04:53 PM

errrrrr... just don't forget DFW.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on October 18, 2005 04:59 PM

Hell, for half the change i'll put you to work up here on the farm (northern ohio) We bust ass everyday during the fall, 6 am thru 9 or 10 pm, september through new years. just a thought

Posted by: Heath on October 18, 2005 08:31 PM

I dropped out of scuba lessons in week 6 of 8. Too much talk about if you screwup you will get the bends or die. Too noisy too with all those damm bubbles. A snorkel is fine for me.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on October 19, 2005 01:43 AM

On your southern trip, there's always an overnight bed for you here in Panama City.

Posted by: Larry on October 19, 2005 11:27 AM

You should move the Asian woman to the top of the list.

Posted by: Robert on October 19, 2005 10:24 PM

If you need a place to crash in Cali, drop me a line, good luck with your treatment.

Posted by: Sean on October 20, 2005 11:15 AM
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