Gut Rumbles
 

October 12, 2005

i don't want 'em

I appreciate the mention from The Professor today, but I don't need your prayers. I ain't dead yet, and I intend to hang on as long as I can. My problem is NOT going away, no matter who prays for me.

When MY expiration date comes, it comes. I ain't afraid of it.

I have been doing a lot of existential thinking lately. I realize now that I did a LOT of things in my life that I really didn't want to do because I felt OBLIGATED to do them. I had a wife. I had children. I had bills to pay and groceries to buy and a roof to keep over their heads. I did what I had to do.

As my friend catfish once said (and he certainly has a way with words in his own language---which is Pure Cracker) "Sometimes, ya just gotta keep your nose to that grinding stone."

Yeah. I did that for a long time. I worked my ass off because I had responsibilities to fulfill. I didn't do that crap for ME. I did it because I had people DEPENDING on me to do it. I look back now and I remind me a lot of my father. That's a good thing. He did whatever it took, too. I think he raised me right.

Now, I don't have ANYBODY depending on me. My parents are dead, my children are gone, and I don't owe anybody anything except a house payment and child support for Quinton. I can afford that.

I have come full circle. The happiest days in my life came when I was playing guitar for a living. I was on my own back then, with nothing to worry about except an ugly mutt dog who liked to ride the road with me. Those were good times. I wish I could go back and live them all over again.

Now, I'm in the same situation, without the ugly-assed mutt.

Don't feel sorry for me. I've had a damn good life.

Comments

Obligations to others builds character - you have this to be proud of, and I'm glad you want your readers to be comforted...they worry about you.

Posted by: Bonita on October 12, 2005 01:00 PM

Well, I reckon I could pick you up an ugly ass mutt dog someplace if you REALLY want one.

I suppose that most of us have done the same Rob, fulfiiled our responsibilities the best we could to take care of our familes and jobs. And the ole 'grinding stone' has wore a lot of us down sooner than we expected. But, what the hell. I always figured that I was going to croak someday-just want to put it off as long as my sweetthing is around and after that it don't really make a damn anyway. I reckon you are doing what you know is best for you and that is all that counts-have some fun while it lasts my friend and keep writing if you can.

Posted by: GUYK on October 12, 2005 01:12 PM

I've got cystic fibrosis, and though it's an incredibly mild case, I know right where you're at.

I like my life too, and I'd love to live some of my best times again (for me, that would be the late 80s/early 90s). Thing is, I think I might be in my best times right now, when I get some distance for perspective. I have to admit it's pretty good with me these days.

Take care. Live the rest of the way good. Don't let the trolls get you down, and maybe we'll meet for a beer on the other side. You strike me as the sort of guy that has some interesting things to say.

Posted by: Dan on October 12, 2005 01:27 PM

Well, Rob, you might not need 'em but you and Quinton will get 'em just the same...or did you really think that you were the ONLY stubborn ol' sonofabitch in the blogosphere?

Posted by: Blackfive on October 12, 2005 01:38 PM

We all have to die, but not in our 50s. (I think we're just about the same age.) It's a lousy deal and you have every right to be pissed off about it. Not that you need anyone's permission to be pissed off.
I've enjoyed your blog and admired your candor.

Posted by: Joanne Jacobs on October 12, 2005 02:10 PM

Like you Bowleggs, the best part of my life is over. I done almost everything I wanted to do. I traveled Europe and done just about all I wanted to do. Keep that head up and keep living, something good may come to us, again, Cat

Posted by: catfish on October 12, 2005 02:23 PM

Dying is one thing. Riding the whiskey river to the end is another.

But it is your life.... so cheers.

Posted by: gravdigr on October 12, 2005 02:46 PM

Well, you entertained a lot of people with your words and with your songs. Most people wish the could have a eulogy that good. Don't write it yet, though. Like I said, you're not allowed to kick until I have had a chance to shake your hand. And, I ain't getting in any big hurry.

Posted by: og on October 12, 2005 02:56 PM

You've got to do what you think is best for you. Just don't make someone find you three days later. And please, don't turn down help when it's offered for the right reason---just because--. Not everything done for another person is done because it's "expected" or "required". Somethings, are just gifts.

If you are riding the whiskey river, I must say, you're a lot more cogent than most sober men I've met. But then, that's what they said about me when pain required I be taking percocet, a muscle relaxer, a nonsteriodal anti inflammatory, and 2 drugs normally given for other problems, but who can also be used for pain. I was still in tears from the pain and having trouble sleeping, and driving. Wasn't walking too good, but then, I still can't.

Give'm hell Acidman.

Posted by: Nancy on October 12, 2005 02:59 PM

Not to worry Rob, I don't feel sorry for you. Hell we're all going to die, and in a way it's almost lucky to know ahead of time so you can pay attention to the time you got. We take too much for granted when we think we have all the time in the world.

I was pissed when I thought you were just letting yourself die, but now that I understand this better, I have to say I admire how you're handling it.

Personally I think you're going to be around a long time yet, so I think I'll hold the heartfelt eulogy for a while longer. This funereal atmosphere is starting to depress me. I can see now why you didn't want to tell us in the first place.

For God's sake somebody start telling jokes, like they used to do at those roast thingys with Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. I'd start but I don't know anything funny about our guy.

Posted by: Libby on October 12, 2005 03:13 PM

Is it just me, or does this string read like the Painless Pole's "suicide" scene in MASH (either the book *or* the original movie, not that TV drivel).

Anyone got a black capsule for Rob? He'll be bouncin' back next week goin', "I don't know where I been, but they done give Roscoe here the blue ribbon!"

Posted by: Seppo on October 12, 2005 03:23 PM

Libby, the joke idea sounds like a good one, though I don't have one handy myself. GUYK usually has a raft of 'em.

Rob, I don't know the particulars of your situation. THAT is none of my business! You could have any number of ailments. Asshol...er, people collect 'em like old pennys. But, you've always returned my emails. That says a lot to me, even though they were usually refering to me as a...a...shit! Even I have trouble using the language YOU use.
As for me, my nuts itch.....

Posted by: James "link slut" Hooker on October 12, 2005 04:06 PM

Dang, Rob! Weird coincidences: My Daddy passed this last Monday, and I'll be heading to his home town soon to help plant him; I'm about your age, and starting to feel a bit fragile m'self.(Not as messed up as you say you are, but didn't have as much fun, either.) Mind if I look you up on my way back?

Please answer in email, I think I have yer address already.

All the best, Jtg.

Posted by: Justthisguy on October 12, 2005 04:18 PM

Still don't know what the big secret is but I'm tired of trying to figure it out.

Good luck, Rob.

Posted by: Jane on October 12, 2005 05:59 PM

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.

But I can't figure out how they got in there.

Posted by: Gen on October 12, 2005 06:11 PM

A joke. Ok.

If he's in the right mood, Rob might even appreciate the humor in this one.

"Have you heard about the new 'Divorced Barbie?


She comes with all of Ken's stuff."

Lamont

Posted by: Lamont Cranston on October 12, 2005 06:13 PM

Jane, the big secret isn't one that Rob is holding, the secret is some ghost of troubles past in between the ears of those who think they know Rob.

Everyone has their devils to fight, both in this life and beyond. If I know Rob, he's dealing death and destruction to his Devil's Brigade as we speak, and he'll Cross the Line still fighting, you may make book on that.

Posted by: Rivrdog on October 12, 2005 06:16 PM

I don't feel sorry for you one tick. I know what It's like to lose family. In my case my son just didn't fuck off and leave me- he died.
If you wanna just pack it in then OK, but you got more goin' for you than you think.
Your choice-but.........

Posted by: Ralph Rattfuc on October 12, 2005 06:22 PM

LOL @ Chablis!

Posted by: Maeve on October 12, 2005 07:10 PM

I've been watching my sister slip away for 8 months now from Leukemia. The disease is in remission, but the treatment is killing her.
She's spent 6 months in the hospital, much of that time on a feeding tube and ventilator. Still they go forward with Chemo in search of buying her more time. In 8 months, she's had two good weeks.

No way I'd go through it. I work in the hospice industry in the Carolina's. E-mail me if you'd like info on getting hooked up with hospice, or on the financial side of hospice. All Medicare-approved hospices are required to provide care to patients, regardless of their ability to pay. I also might be able to point you toward some financial resources, should you elect to try some form of treatment.

BTW, many children report seeing their deceased pets right before they die. Who knows? You may see that ugly mutt dog again.

Posted by: Emmetropia on October 12, 2005 08:10 PM

Don't need to feel sorry for you. After all - none of us are going to escape alive when it's all said and done. Lot's of things aren't fair - but nobody promised us fair.
What matters is whether we have lived, pure and simple. I don't read your blog every day, but every thing I've read says you've lived - sometimes hard, but mostly on your terms. Good enough. Do that till the reaper drags you away, is my motto.

Posted by: Barb on October 12, 2005 08:27 PM

My best joke: Little Billy is in his Sunday School class. The teacher asks the children what part of the body arrives in Heaven first. Little Suzie raises her hand and says, " It is your head because that is the top of a person." Little Mary raised her hand and says, " It is your hands. You can hold them over your head and they get there first. " Little Billy frantically waves his hand. "No, no, no!" he said. "It's your feet that get to Heaven first." His teacher was perplexed and asked what made him think so. "Last night, my Mama was in the bed with her feet in the air yelling, 'Lord, I'm a coming, I'm a coming' and it my Dad hadn't been holding her down, I think she'd have gone, too!"

Posted by: Robin on October 12, 2005 09:30 PM

Thanks for the free ice cream, and yes, I want more.
And when you gonna post some songs from that fancy recording studio you got ?

Again, thanks

Posted by: rick on October 12, 2005 10:03 PM

Live, Acidman, Like You Want to...It's your life.

"It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, hell, don't back down "

Posted by: Pam on October 12, 2005 10:22 PM

great blog, even if I haven't visited in a month. The fire of KY moonshine, in pixels.

Gotta admit, would be nice was possible to page back to yer earlier postings, so I could read what's wrong.

Anyway, hang in there.

Posted by: Reynolds Minion on October 12, 2005 10:56 PM

Damnit, people dyin' piss me off. Don't even consider it.

Posted by: SwampWoman on October 13, 2005 02:40 AM

SO... These Two elderly new york ,spinster, sisters bring they're younger brother into the
phychiatrists office Theyed all been living in the family home for 30 years. The sisters walk into the office but have they're brother stay outside. The doctor asks " Whats the Problem " The sisters " Its Da Brotha He thinks Hes a dog" ............ Doc " What ??? ".
" Well He thinks hes a dog and he acts like a dog" , Doc. " What do yo meen?"
Well He walks on all fours now and brings the news papah in wit his mout !!!!!!!"
Doc " You gotta be kidding ? How long has this been going on " .......... " Well for years know bu its gotte worse,, He chased the mailman yesterday !! " Doc all right bring him in and I'll set him on the couch and talk to him , Oh doctor !!! we cant do that "
Doc " listen to me.. youve waited 4 years it may be too late NOW bring him in here, seat him on the couch ,Go into the waiting room ,And I'll see what i can do, WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOURE PROBLEM?????????
" But doctah He's not allowed on the couch.
!!!".............

Posted by: Skinner on October 13, 2005 04:16 AM

This barrage of different comments baffles me. The jokes I understand But how the Hell do little kids report seeing old pets when they die ? " Hey there's Spot my goldfish I tried to color blue with easter egg dye" Hey and theres flappy the hampster I tied to the tail of my kite during that windstorm, Oh and theres my cat muffy That couldnt swim across the pond with a brick necklace , Give me a break

Posted by: skinner on October 13, 2005 05:10 AM

It's how you live your life that matters. We all die.

I've got a joke for you though,

Three old ladies are going to the baseball game and they bring a bottle of whiskey.

During the game, one of the ladies says, "hic, the bottle's almost empty. We need more whiskey"

What inning is it and how many men are on base? And yes, you do have enough information to answer that question.


It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded.

Posted by: Veeshir on October 13, 2005 07:41 AM

Rob is not going to "go gentle into that good night." However, that does not mean he's going to rush himself to a doctor and be hospitalized for a period of time. Sometimes it's about QUALITY of life, not Quantity. And damimt, Rob's had one quality filled life. As far as humor goes? Well, I dedicated a post to the Acidman on my blog yesterday....why? Because he is one of the most interesting man I've ever met in my life. I hope you know how much our conversations have meant, Rob. I thank you for your advice, and we're going to buy a house in the way you said. One day we'll be living comfortably in our own Crackerbox....thanks...now...about the cobbler....what kind?

Posted by: Kellie on October 13, 2005 07:44 AM

Mother Nature can be a Bee Eye Tee Cee Aitch, can't she.

Posted by: Zoe Brain on October 13, 2005 07:48 AM

Sending hugs and kisses your way....

Posted by: blondage on October 13, 2005 09:52 AM

Look, Dude, I'll just come right out and say it: Can I have your blog when you're dead?

Posted by: thecoldeye on October 13, 2005 10:36 AM

Cold Eye:
I'll go one further (got my own blog and only post once a decade anyway!) so, can I have your speakers?

Posted by: James "link slut" Hooker on October 13, 2005 12:37 PM

BS&T-" and When I DIe"- go ahead and sing it , it's the truth

Posted by: warren giles on October 13, 2005 02:18 PM

I think you should bang some hookers on a live webcam.

Or, better yet, blast up some scumbag pedophiles on camera.. that would be cool bloggage.

Posted by: rightisright on October 13, 2005 03:00 PM

I'm going to pray all the Catholic novenas in the catalog just to piss you off. Glad you're happy to die. I know we're happy for ya.

Posted by: fuckyou on October 13, 2005 04:04 PM

You dont own your own home Kellie? Are you kidding me? And housing is so cheap down your way, why for what I paid for my house in the northeast, I could have bought 5 houses in Georgia, for fucksake. Poor planning on your part, I would say.

Posted by: Ruth on October 13, 2005 04:54 PM

Hope you're smiling when you make in the end zone.
Ain't nothing tough as you make it sound. Personally I think you're just jerking everyones lanyard.

Posted by: jim on October 13, 2005 05:44 PM

Ok I have a joke that might cheer you up .What do you get when your cat eats a whole duck????? A duckfilledfattypuss.

Posted by: bcatsrmine8 on October 13, 2005 06:14 PM

And I thought you had balls.
Fuckin' pussy.
All that you said over the last years I read you is nothing but bullshit.
Thanks for nuthin'.

Posted by: Ralph Rattfuc on October 13, 2005 06:33 PM

I want my damn bumper sticker before you die dammit!

Posted by: livey on October 13, 2005 06:34 PM

Ruth...suck my ass

Posted by: Kellie on October 13, 2005 08:31 PM

i personally think you are full of shit. your blog is great except when you go into the self pity moments...this being one of them. i want to know what you are "dying" from? self pity or a real disease?

Posted by: you are full of shit on October 13, 2005 08:36 PM

I'm sorry Kellie-

My comment was rude and arrogant. I sometimes like to think that my shit smells of roses and that I have all the money in the world because I married a rich man (even though he has a secret male lover)

I admire you. I don't know what it's like to not have a home of my own because I've has my ass powdered and my twat sucked my entire life.

I don't know what real life is like. I think the beatings by my husband are worth the $$$.

Just me though.

I envy your happy children and loving husband.

I could only wish that I could have the money and the happy life but the cards just weren't dealt that way.

Posted by: Ruth on October 13, 2005 08:47 PM

LMAO! Was that really Ruth or did you doctor it up Rob?

Posted by: livey on October 13, 2005 09:16 PM

I hope that you can look back on your life, and honestly say "I did my best, even if I did fuck up once in a while".

If you can do that, you're 'way ahead of most folks.

I'll be thinking of you, and wishing that I could have made it to Helen. Still, I did make it to the Wreckyll just to listen to your moldy old self actually live up to your braggin' about guitar playing. You really are almost as good as you say you are - which ain't all that bad!

Posted by: Ward Gerlach on October 13, 2005 10:09 PM

LMAO!! Great job on the RUTH post ROB!
Hey KELLIE! Fuck her, I think Rob handled it really well.

Posted by: Dawn on October 13, 2005 11:12 PM

Rob did not write that! I did! You don't have to be the blog owner to type a comment!

I felt bad! Geeeeeeeesh!

Posted by: Ruth on October 14, 2005 12:13 AM

I never came to this blog until yesterday I read a post on Baldilock's blog and was curious I cant imagine from some of the asshole comments Iv'e read how people could get that low I have to admit , I read his profile thing out of curiosity and it amazed me how I would have answered the questions
about 85% the same Except for the golf
and vodka { Home brew and fishing] .
His exwife is a sleazebag whore who ran away with a judas scum sucking ex freind
so was mine I dont play the banjo worth a shit either but I like the sound anyways My new lady and I just saw allison Krauss this summer in Bend Oregon She was great and her intermission stories where as funny as her fiddling is story tellin I probably read everything Mark twain wrote And I like the way he saved his mom and escaped the hoppy toad from shere death Il call this man a freind and a true american wether He knows me or not and all you spitefull assholes can BITE ME ......... PEACE BROTHER

Posted by: skinner on October 14, 2005 03:53 AM

This is weired I just went out on the porch to get a beer and was reading what I wrote and I must have let a toad in cause it commenced to croak no shit !!!!!!!!

Maybe I should write something about naked dancing girls and leave the door open all night

Posted by: skinner on October 14, 2005 04:00 AM

Hmmm...October 14th 7:37am....nothing from you yesterday... where ARE you Rob?

Posted by: Lisa on October 14, 2005 06:38 AM

Maybe he wasn't kidding.

And I never got a bumper sticker, either....even said "please."

Oh, well.

Posted by: Trish on October 14, 2005 08:47 AM

I like to act like a moron in other people's comments.

Posted by: Ralph Rattfuc on October 14, 2005 08:56 AM

Rob's playing possum again.
-Loves to read the comments and speculations.

Posted by: Phil on October 14, 2005 11:32 AM

Have your ashes dumped down the gas tank of your former wife's car.

Posted by: Woody on October 14, 2005 12:52 PM

Woody, the ashes have to be mixed with alot of SUGAR if they are going in the gas tank... :D :D :D

With Rob, it's either R&R or RIP. I hope for the former.

Posted by: Cythen on October 14, 2005 12:55 PM
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