Gut Rumbles

August 26, 2005

a lesson in life

Here is a reason that it's not a good idea to show your ass in a restaurant. If a guy does this at a gas pump, just imagine what a "chef" can do to your food. I speak from almost 10 years of food-service experience, too.

I saw some shit... well, never mind.

Manners, people. Mind your manners. It's really not that difficult to be nice.

Show your ass, talk big and act like a prick and trust me on one thing. The people working there have a way of getting back at you. YOU may not notice it, but THEY do. Think you cussed out a waitress and didn't end up drinking some tea with piss in it? Think again.

I once saw a guy in the kitchen rub his dick on a hamburger after some asshole sent it back because it wasn't "medium well" done. The cook dick-wiped it, wrapped the hamburger, sent it back out and the prick sat there and ate it.

I'm just saying... be careful who you fuck with. Some people fuck back.

Good manners prevent such problems.


I've got 23 years of food service under my belt.
Have I ever done anything to some one's food.
Yes. Once. I caught the fucker stealing MY tip off the table. He denied it.
I spat in his coffee.

Posted by: Maeve on August 26, 2005 11:44 PM

Reminds me of the t-shirt-" Waitresses see more assholes then Doctors".....And by the way ,I'm always polite even if the waiter or waitress is having an off day..Both for the above talked about reason or just the fact that can you say you've never screwed up at work.If somenone's having a bad day,there isn't any reason to rub it in,I always figured.

Posted by: big al on August 27, 2005 01:12 AM

At meal times the children say please and thank you. I've always told them to pretend they out at a restaurant with their parents. Always be nice to the person bringing your food NO MATTER what!!!

One day a child decided to push this with some attitude. I told him as his 'waitress' I had the right to withhold his meal until such time as his attitude improved and the words please and thank you passed his lips in an appripriate tone. He held out for abut 15 minutes but as it was pizza day........

I told him he was lucky he hadn't given that attitude to someone at a real restaurant because while his food was in the back they would had spit in it and then sat it on the table and laughed at him as he ate it. He told me that wasn't true and I said are you sure?

He's amazingly good at restaurants now.

Posted by: Symph on August 27, 2005 01:46 AM

I worked for more than 10 years in the food service business (waiting tables) and came across LOTS of "impossible to please" (and rude) people. But never ever did I even THINK of tampering with their food. Ever. Thats just uncalled for, I dont care how much of an asshole they behaved like.....

I always noticed one thing though, the more education a person had (especially lawyers) the RUDER they were. It was the guy that had just hopped off his Harley Davidson, perhaps even sported a pony tail, and a few tattoos, HIS type was always the politest.

I always said, I'd much rather wait on a table of bikers than a table of lawyers (that call isnt even close)

Posted by: Ruth on August 27, 2005 08:38 AM

Don't EVER act impolite to someone who has the power to fuck with your food.

Posted by: Elisson on August 27, 2005 08:43 AM

Way back in the late 70s I had an acquaintance who was always extremely rude to waitresses. He was such an embarrassment that after we'd leave restaurants I'd go back in and apologize for his behavior.

Well, one time, a waitress he was giving a hard time to just happened to "accidentally" spill a pitcher of ice water on him! While she "apologized" profusely, I gave her a $5 tip on the spot right in front of the jerk acquaintance and thanked her for doing something that needed doing. I also told her I'd give her a $20 if she could manage to spill some hot coffee on him. She gave a wicked smile at that thought, but didn't do it (spill the coffee on him, that is). Bummer. Anyway, he was better behaved at restaurants after that.

I also wonder how many times his entrees were 'tampered' with? LOL

Posted by: Garry K on August 27, 2005 12:02 PM

Back when I was 20 and working 3rd shift in a convenience store my coworker and I were robbed at gunpoint. Next morning we are working again and a guy comes in and gets snotty with us, asking why we were closed the morning before. We explain that we had been robbed and the gentleman replies with some snide cut at us, pays for his coffee and walks out. Leaving his driver's license on the counter.

"Looks like our pal misplaced his ID." I say.

My coworker picks it up, snaps it in half and dumps it in the trash. "Yeah, no telling where he left it."

Posted by: Alex_fs on August 27, 2005 08:13 PM

I remember about 20 years ago at the Somers State Prison in Connecticut, the prisoners working in the kitchen shit in the spagghetti sauce that they were preparing for the gaurds lunch. Shortly thereafter the prison had to hire a food service company to prepare the food Also I remember reading about Jesse Jackson bragging that he used to spit in the food he prepared for white people while working as a college student.

Posted by: DanC on August 27, 2005 09:46 PM

Early in my police career, I was patrolling a suburban district when the Sergeant came by and gave me a warrant card and mug shot of a wanted guy who worked in a restaurant that many cops ate at.

I kept an eye on the place on and off for the next two shifts, and finally caught the guy just as he came to work, cuffed him, stuffed him and hauled his butt off to jail.

Thinking I did good, I radioed the Sgt and told him that I had served the arrest warrant. His first question was: did you notify the patrol shift and have the nightwatch SGT put out the info for roll call?

I said no, and wondered why. He said that the chump would make bail withing a few hours of going to jail, would go back to work, and the next officer he saw in the restaurant would get urn cleaner in his coffee, or worse.

The Sgt chewed my ass out royally for not realizing this and putting out the "APB".

Posted by: Rivrdog on August 28, 2005 12:43 PM

I used to work at a restaurant and although as hard assed as everyone was there, messing with someone's food was not tollerated by any of the management or long term staff. If it happened it happened in secret out of everyone elses eyesight. That place sucked ass to work for, I hated it, but is was very respectful and neat that that was one standard they held up high.

Going into law enforcement I know that every officer has two or three places where he will not eat at because they arrested someone who works there. If you went by all the officers there would be no where to eat since almost all places there have hired atleast one thug.

Posted by: Rhett on August 29, 2005 01:51 PM
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