Gut Rumbles
 

August 17, 2005

this must be troll day

I don't pay much attention to time anymore. I have ONE functioning clock in my house and it hangs next to my front door. That way, if I decide to go somewhere, I know what stores, banks and businesses are open. Otherwise, I could give a shit.

I don't wear a wristwatch. In fact, the one the company gave me when I retired I sent to this guy in exchange for some good cigars. I think we were both happy with that deal.

Yeah, I'm a lazy old Cracker who doesn't do much anymore. I don't go out of my way to bother anybody and my neighbors like me, because I help them when they need help but leave them alone otherwise. Still... today I have been called:

"...mean drunk who spends his life blaming other people for his problems."

"I thought it was just more vile, angry invective about nonsense floating in your head because you don't have enough dignity to get a job, a hobby, help somebody out."

I'd be DELIGHTED to help that commenter out. If he were on fire, I'd piss on him. Maybe.

I'm a mean, vile, drunken, angry man. It must be true. You read it on the internet, from a troll. Well, I'm just stinging all over from that tongue-lashing.

I'm starting to believe that about 1/4 of the people who show up here every day come just for the purpose of telling me what a dickhead I am and how much they hate me. I don't mind. It generatres more traffic.

What have I got now? 101,500 visits since I hit the TWO MILLION mark a few weeks ago? Y'all keep it up.

ANY attention is GOOD attention on a blog.

Comments

Rob, you ARE a dickhead.

But, you're OUR dickhead, and we like you just fine.

Posted by: og on August 17, 2005 09:08 PM

Doesn't he know the main job of retired southern folk is to sit on the porch and yell at kids passing by? You just have a louder voice.

Posted by: Sean on August 17, 2005 09:18 PM

ANY attention is GOOD attention on a blog.

Interestingly enough, my seven-year old feels the same way.

If you don't mind my asking, why is more traffic a good thing? You don't advertise, so your not making any money from the hits. Your not getting paid to write anyplace else so the publicity isn't doing you much good. Even if you had ads and needed the name recognition trolls aren't going to link to you anyway (get a clue, we don't increase traffic, we just suck up your bandwidth, if I was a nasty troll I could DOS you with a simple cron job reloading your page a couple of hundred times a minute and never even read the thing). Nobody but you cares, or even knows, what your logs show.

So, seriously, what is it you get out of this besides the same attention a child craves?

Posted by: Waaambulance Medic on August 17, 2005 09:19 PM

Keep on keeping on brother! I don't post much but I certainly enjoy your stories. Read them all. You make my day... daily.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

Andy

BTW, I'm moving to L.A., California from good ol' Virginny in a month. Starting a new job and life. Still I plan to keep up with your blog... don't want to lose the southern side of me. NO WAY -- NO HOW!

Posted by: Andy on August 17, 2005 09:23 PM

Beth, Jo, Pig Meat, Bart Noby, Elizabeth, Grace, Ralph...
All the same person. He even responds to his own comments. How pathetic.

Posted by: JD on August 17, 2005 09:41 PM

Smif--

Shit--I just call you fucked up because of your goofy politics, but even I cannot hold a torch to some of your real trolls. Those people are mean!

Hell, I might have to merge into the background and sound like one of your groupies . . .

Ahh . . .

Nah.

I troll better than your groupies anyway, and get you more comments. But anyway, hope you like the Dave Barry inspired bit in the other comments section.

Cut a CD, and bill me for that and all the bandwidth I was supposedly using when you bitched and that I asked you to bill me for and you didn't while bitching about all the bandwidth I was using while you were happy about all the traffic and all of that . . .

BTW--put the tunes in G . . . most sing-able that way. And if you can fake a banjo well, that makes you good anyway.

:-)

Posted by: jb on August 17, 2005 10:58 PM
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