Gut Rumbles

August 12, 2005

things I've heard but don't know from experience

I live around a lot of farmers. I like to talk with those grizzled old bastards, because some of them remind me of my grandfather. Here are some things they told me that I've never tried myself.

1) If you raise cattle, get a mule. Turn it out to graze with the cows. It'll take care of any predators that try to raid the farm. Mules become territorial, and they are real bad-asses in a fight.

2) Tobacco juice is not only good for relieving the sting of insect bites, but it is a VERY effective insecticide. Boil a bag of Levi Garret as if you were making tea and pour the juice all over your orchads or roses. Bugs won't touch 'em.

3) This one I DID try, and it works. If you want to keep deer out of your garden, put up a scarecrow and piss on it every day. Deer once raided my garden on a nightly basis until I started doing that. But the scent of human urine makes them wary, and they'll stay away.

4) Bees won't sting you once they become accustomed to you coming around. A LOT of farmers where I live keep bee-hives. They harvest the honey and sell it, but the main reason for keeping bees is to pollenate their fields. They tell me that they can walk right into a swarm around their bee-boxes, take the honey and the combs and never get stung. I wouldn't want to try that myself.

5) Kerosene cures mange on a dog. The dog doesn't like the application, but it works.

6) You can housebreak a pig. They are smarter than dogs.

7) Plant during the time of a full moon. Everything grows better if you plant it during a full moon.

8) Don't plant hot peppers next to anything that you don't want to be hot, too. Those old farmers tell me that you can produce hot ANYTHING if you plant hot peppers next to it.

9) You can tell if a pregnant woman is going to have a boy or a girl by seeing the way the baby is "carried." Boys hang low. Girls ride high.

10) Animals can tell when a storm is coming. If you see a blue sky and all the animals want to get back to the barn, they know something that YOU don't. Pay attention to them.

I DEFINITELY believe #10, because my goats did the same thing.


#10 was pretty much proved with the tsunami. How many animals died over there? Not many..they all had the sense to get to high ground.

Posted by: Kelly on August 12, 2005 10:50 AM

What about when a goat is drunk and wants to get into a bar? What does that mean?

Posted by: Misty on August 12, 2005 10:55 AM

I know some of this is a fact. I use skoal and the tocacco juice will take the sting out of an insect bite-if I want to spit on myself.

kerosine is a good remedy for mange but so is used motor oil. As a kid in the oil patch we would just throw a mangy dog in a slush pit-a dozer dug pit to catch crude oil spills- and they would swin out. Over a period of weeks they would lose most of their hair but the mange would be gone.

Kerosine also used to be used as a diinfectant and it works well. I have sat with my foot in a pan of "coal oil" sveral times after stepping on a rusty nail. Must have worked-I'm still alive!

Posted by: GUYK on August 12, 2005 10:55 AM

I never tried the mule with the cows but do know some that always run a stallion or a big Jack donkey with their cattle. They'll kill a damn coyote after a new bon calf.

Posted by: GUYK on August 12, 2005 10:58 AM

I had a friend who had a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig who was smart as a whip....scratched to go out, would fetch a stick or a ball, and would come up and smile at her when it was time to eat!!! So cute!

Posted by: Barbara on August 12, 2005 11:12 AM

We have alot of ranchers who raise goats for mohair around here. They keep mules with the herd to keep coyotes, wild dogs or just about anything else away fron them. A mule will beat the shit out of a coyote I have seen the results, it resembled something that got run over by an 18 wheeler.

Posted by: gravdigr on August 12, 2005 11:13 AM

My mother had a pet pig when she was growing up in rural MA. My uncle won it in a contest. She was houstrained and she came like a dog when she was called. My daughter is pregnant with a little girl and so far she's carrying high, but when I was pregnant with her I carried her kind of low. More reliable is around the 9th month all babies go low toward delivery.

Posted by: Joan on August 12, 2005 11:16 AM

My grandfather made the mistake of taking a herding dog to one of his farms. The cattle tried to get in the truck with us to kill it. Cattle do not like dogs a whole lot.

As for deer not liking the smell of pee, I am amazed, because the rest of us find it so alluring.

Posted by: Steve H. on August 12, 2005 11:22 AM

1. true
2. ehhhh...
3. My mom and pop doubled teamed on this. Pop (and us boys) would piss in a couple of cans around the garden. Mom would scatter hair clippings from the beauty shop she had at the time. One or both worked real well.
4. Ain't been that brave yet
5. Yes and burnt oil also
6. yes, seen it done. can still be mean little bastards though.
7. I've heard this also, but I was the kid with the black thumb
8. Dunno 'bout dis
9. Bullshit
10. Hell yes!
11. PJ won't come in outta the rain cause he's a dumbass.
12. I couldn't resist

Posted by: James Hooker, Ace of aces on August 12, 2005 11:33 AM

Bullshit on 8 and 9.

Hot peppers won't make ANYTHING they are planted next to HOT.

However, you CAN cross pollinate different types of peppers, like a mild Banana pepper with a Habenero. The resulting banana peppers will NOT be hot. However, the seeds they produce will grow hotter banana peppers NEXT year.

To keep deer out of my plants and gardens, I use stuff called Deer Off. Tis a mix of hot pepper juice, egg whites and garlic. Works great and lasts a month or more.

The deer around here are so bad that I try to avoid riding my motorcycle after dark. Fucking soccer moms won't permit controlled hunts. It's for the children.

Posted by: rightisright on August 12, 2005 12:42 PM

1: I was born and raised on a ranch in cow country and never heard of this.

2: I don't know about this, my grandad always put it on a bee sting and it apparently worked. Anything grandpa did worked.

3: We always had a passel of border collies around. They kept just about anything and everything in check, including the kids.

4: I don't know about that. What I DO know is they won't sting you if you keep you're shit together. If you freak out and start flapping your arms around you're going to get hit.

5: We had a dog with mange and we tried EVERYTHING; kerosene, this, that. Hell, if I remember correctly we even tried fucking voodoo. None of it worked.

6: Maybe, but anyone who has a damn pig in their house ought to be beat up.

7: Hmm, where I'm from you plant as soon as the soil is warm enough and you don't have to worry about frost when the plants come up. I can't even imagine how a full moon would matter one way or the other.

8: I've planted hot peppers next to everything in my garden and never experienced this.

9: Nope.

10: Yep. I had a border collie that was deathly afraid of thunder. He'd litterally try to crawl into an empty coffee can if that was all that was available. That dog could hear, sense, whatever thunder way before I ever heard or saw it coming. "Where the hell's Jake? Oh, his ass is hanging out of that coffee can. Must be a boomer comin'."

Posted by: Daniel Medley on August 12, 2005 01:49 PM

If you want to keep deer out of your garden, put up a scarecrow and piss on it every day.

Can I make mine look like Ted Kennedy?

Posted by: Rich on August 12, 2005 02:42 PM

Do you have any predators that would attack cattle in Georgia? I could see that coming up in, say, Montana, but I wouldn't have thought it necessary in Georgia....

Posted by: Tom on August 12, 2005 03:25 PM

Spray oil on your crops, and watch Republicans race for the Mideast and declare war on someone else.

Sorry, couldn't resist. LMAO

Back to your regularly scheduled propagan . . . er . . . programming.


Posted by: jb on August 12, 2005 04:14 PM

#9 is definitely wrong. Carried one up high under my ribcage, 2nd one on my lap.

Posted by: RubyTuesday on August 12, 2005 04:18 PM

Yeah, You never want to Mess with a mule!

Posted by: El Capitan on August 12, 2005 04:28 PM

I want a goat!

Posted by: Maeve on August 12, 2005 04:29 PM

My poodle (don't make fun, best dog I've ever had) knows when a real storm is coming. I've never seen an animal go to pieces like him. He hasn't dug a hole thru the basement floor yet during a storm. Wasn't for lack of trying.
I never knew he had a foot-long tongue until the first thunderstorm I had him (he's arounf 4th-hand, somewhere along the line someone must have left him outside when a puppy during a storm). It's amazing. His eyes bug out, the tongue rolls out like a carpet, he tries to become invisible. Scratches anything that might open up as a hiding place.

Posted by: Horrabin on August 13, 2005 12:23 AM

I've got an 80 lb lab that does that Horrabin. She can predict a storm 4 hours away.

Posted by: livey on August 13, 2005 10:18 AM
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