Gut Rumbles

August 11, 2005


I didn't know until I stared working at the chemical plant just how popular 'coon-hunting is around here. Catfish can attest to this--- one guy we worked with at the Steam Plant had a champion coon-dog and he was paid $1,000 a pop, plus the pick of the litter to BREED that dog. (We told a joke--- on cold nights, Jerome brought the dog inside to sleep in his bed and threw his wife outside to sleep with the other dogs.)

Racoons are smart animals. They'll drown a dog if they can get it into water. They'll push it's head under and hold it there until the dog stops struggling.

Most of the time in the woods, racoons will run up a tree to hide. Those fuckers are better than squirrels at making themselves invisible. If you don't see that bandit face peeking around the trunk to look at you, you'll never even know that they are there.

My problem with them is that they like to raid garbage cans and they carry rabies. I've shot several of them while the bastards CAME AFTER ME when I tried to run them off at night. I NEVER went outside on the mini-farm at night without a shotgun. I never knew what I might find.

I've eaten racoon once in my life. It resembled a big rat, after it was skinned and cooked, and it tasted about like what I imagine rat-meat would be. I didn't want a second helping. I might try it again if I were on the verge of starvation, but no other way.

I read once that you can trap a racoon by carving a hole in a tree and sticking a shiny dime in there where the coon can see it. The coon will reach in to grab the dime (they like shiny objects), then its fist is too big to come back out of the hole. The greedy bastard will hang onto the dime until you walk up and knock its brains out with a club.

I've never SEEN that, but it makes sense to me.

Makes more sense than $10,000 coon dogs and walking the woods at night to hunt those nasty critters.


Just the thought of eating racoon is gross. But then again, I like cow tongue.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on August 11, 2005 01:12 PM

Been coon huntin' many a time, tromping through the woods half the night, listening to the dogs run and then change tune when they have a coon treed. Used to be the hides were worth some $$ and we'd earn our grocery money that way. An added bonus was we could sell the hides and, if you left one foot on the carcass to prove it was a coon and not a cat, you could sell the meat on 'the other side of the tracks'. Aint ate one yet, but I'd never say never!

Posted by: Michele on August 11, 2005 01:49 PM

That dime in the tree thing sounds like the variation on the monkey coconut thing.

Posted by: Cythen on August 11, 2005 01:59 PM

I could never figure out what wine to serve with racoon anyway.

Posted by: JPC on August 11, 2005 02:05 PM

We used to use old bowling pins at summer camp to hammer tent pegs into the ground. They also worked for hammering a coon off of the mess hall trash cans. If you missed the coon and hit the trash can flingin' that pin, though, you woke up the whole camp!

Posted by: El Capitan on August 11, 2005 02:13 PM

I read once that you can trap a racoon by carving a hole in a tree and sticking a shiny dime in there where the coon can see it.

I read that in "Where the red fern grows". But they drove nails in at an angle so the coons could slip their hands in but not get them out. Some of them would chew there own hands off the get away.

It is an easy read, if you have never read it it is a good book to read to your kids.

Posted by: gravdigr on August 11, 2005 02:26 PM

I usewd to have a neighbor who had a unique way of getting rid of the furry bastards.

He would soak the ground with water and lay down a rubber bath mat. A metal garbage can was placed on top of the mat.

He then hooked up a high voltage power supply (600V 2A, IIRC). Ground went to a metal rod driven into the wet ground and the hot side was clipped to the garbage can.

When Mr. Raccoon comes along and puts his front paws on the can, well, use your imagination.

We used to joke that he was learning to work on a train. He went from being a racoon to being a conductor.

Obviously, if you try this stunt, make sure kids and pets can't get at it.

Posted by: Rich on August 11, 2005 02:42 PM

I have eaten coon several times. It is very dark meat and is very greasy. The way you cook a coon is wash him and put him in a big pan, stick a big carrot up his ass and when it is done, the carrot will be gone.

Posted by: catfish on August 11, 2005 02:45 PM

Tastes a lot like dawg. Et many a coon in my 'yoot', only et dawg once (to my knowledge) and that was in Chile after a bunch of local brew! My high skool Spanish was kinda wore-out and my compadre was as sloshed as self when we were brought a huge platter of ground 'goodness'. Tasty stuff!

BTW, if you dress out yer coon and it's male, you get something to pick yer tooth with.

Posted by: Bogdaddy on August 11, 2005 02:54 PM

eating a coon is like eating a damn possum-the more you chew the greasier and bigger the mouthful gets! Dice it up and it makes damn good chili though.

Posted by: GUYK on August 11, 2005 02:56 PM

Bogdaddy, I used to keep a coon-dick bone hanging over my office door for good luck!

Posted by: Acidman on August 11, 2005 03:00 PM

Last time I was in China - this was 15 years ago - an item on the menu at the China Hotel in Guangzhou caught my eye.

"Double-boiled raccoon head and hoof."

I shit you not. I've eaten some strange Chinese Crap - er, ah, food in my lifetime - snake, jellyfish, duck tongues - but this was Not For Me.

Posted by: Elisson on August 11, 2005 03:29 PM

We had a couple of juvinile coons come through our dog door one night. Talk about chaos when the dogs found out!

Posted by: Maeve on August 11, 2005 05:56 PM

I don't know about the dime thing, but i know for a fact that you can catch em with a glass gallon jug (the kind with the thumb hole handle on the neck)

take the jug, and chain it down snug to the ground or a stake, then put a handful of marshmallows in it. next, add a few balls of crushed aluminum foil about the same size as the marshmallows.

ol' mister coon will come up, and start eating them marshmallows, and in time he'll latch on to one of them balls of foil. same concept as the dime, except he thinks its food and won't let it go.

try it

Posted by: Heath on August 11, 2005 06:32 PM

not but one thing tastes worse than a coon
and that is a possum
johnny in south carolina

Posted by: john on August 11, 2005 08:38 PM

I kid you not, Joey made me promise to comment on this post and tell you the following:

If you mix the racoon meat up in some scrambled eggs it tastes damn good. UGH

Posted by: Kellie on August 12, 2005 08:26 AM

Had a friend who had a pet racoon and he'd put a sugar cube in a jug and give it to the coon. The little guy knew what the sugar cube was and would grab it but couldn't get it out. He'd bang on the jug with his other paw and give us hell for his trouble. I've eaten BBQ'd racoon and it was good. Don't know how the critter was prepared but we were assured that it was fresh. The cook said he seen the truck that hit it.

Posted by: Jim on August 12, 2005 10:28 AM
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