Gut Rumbles

August 01, 2005

i like trees, too

Anybody familiar with Savannah will testify--- one of the most impressive things that lends a unique quality to the city is the number of centuries-old live oaks that remain in the downtown area. They are beautiful, with huge, speading limbs draped in Spanish moss. "Magestic" is the right word to describe them. They not only please the eye, they shade the parks and the sidewalks when the heat index is 110 degress.

If you go out to southside Savannah, you find the typical urban heat-sink, created when developers cut down all the trees to build mini-malls, doctor's offices and apartment complexes. It's ugly, and to ME anyway, it always feels 10 degrees hotter on the southside than it does downtown.

I read this post and totally agreed with the writer--- except for one small detail. Having big trees growing in an urban area today is a legal liability. People often decide to "err on the side of caution" and cut those things down before somebody sues them.

Some cities have ordinances that say if the roots of YOUR tree grow big enough to tear up a sidewalk, YOU are liable for the repairs to the sidewalk. Also, if somebody trips and falls on the broken sidewalk that YOUR tree broke, you are liable for their injuries. I won't even get started on what happens when a tree in YOUR yard blows down in a storm and lands on somebody else's house.

In MY humble opinion, a lot of the same people who claim to "love" nature are the ones who sue, first to "protect" the trees and then to gouge the hell out of anybody who actually protected one. That's just one more reason I believe that "environmentalism" is a totally dislexic cult full of idiots.

Trees are great, and I love 'em. But they are risky business today.


A gazillion years ago, in my youth, I had an apartment on the battery in Charleston. It was the same there with the trees and spanish moss. Loved it then and love it now when I visit. North Charleston looked like Newark. The sidewalks on the battery are the same - fucked up beyond all repair and I hope they don't touch 'em.

Got a sycamore tree in our backyard the Irish Government won't let us touch. If I can find a picture of it, you can see why.

I've never hugged one but damn if they don't talk to me.

Posted by: James Hooker, Ace of aces on August 1, 2005 11:02 AM

I like trees and would be a tree lover except the bark might make my dick sore.

I would be somewhat fearful of any trees that could survive the pollution of most urban areas. They would have to be mutants and may feed on innocent passers-by. Hey, this may be what hass happened to all those missing people I read about in the paper!

Posted by: GUYK on August 1, 2005 11:08 AM

My dad, in the midst of Dilantin poisoning, dropped a tree on the neighbor's house. I'm so very glad that they weren't sue happy and were understanding. The insurance took care of it and my dad's dignity was preserved.

Posted by: Kelly on August 1, 2005 11:28 AM

having cut several trees from the roofs of homes, and off of cars, I can say with conviction that a tree that is taller than it's distance from an object of value is a liability and not an asset. Digging leaves and seeds out of gutters is no great shakes either.

Posted by: og on August 1, 2005 11:32 AM

Heh, I guess for the sidewalks being ripped up, you could put signs on the edge of your property, next to the sidewalk, saying "walk at your own risk, homeowner not responsible if you trip."

Posted by: Rick C on August 1, 2005 12:12 PM

Old oak trees with Spanish moss, old oak trees with Spanish moss, old oak trees with Spanish moss...

I'll get out my beads. My kind of mantra.

Posted by: Bonita on August 1, 2005 01:24 PM

Trees help hide the evil sight of masses of humanity flowing back and forth to their psychologists and lawyers.

Posted by: TomR on August 1, 2005 06:39 PM

The best part will be when they combine "you must pay for broken sidewalks" with "you must have a tree in your yard".

I know some neighborhoods or cities have the latter; combine with the former, and someone will eventually end up torching city hall in a fit of rage.

Posted by: Sigivald on August 2, 2005 05:55 PM
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