Gut Rumbles

July 25, 2005


Just an exercise in playing with words.

Decorum and Debauchery

I believe that decorious debauchery is possible. In fact, I've done it many times. A woman can still be a lady, even when her inhibitions hit the floor with her clothes and you end up playing with garden vegetables and battery-powered vibrating devices until you both lie totally spent in sweaty sheets as the morning sunrise creeps in through the bedroom window.

Treasure and Temptation

Often, these are the same things. The idea of gaining TREASURE has always TEMPTED people to do foolish things. Bank robbers succumb to this lure. So do theives, rapists and newlywed husbands.

Science and Superstition

Science tells me that I'll see sunrise in the east tomorrow, and that if I drop a hammer from my hand, it will fall to the ground. Those things happen EVERY SINGLE DAY, every time you try them. Never fails. THAT'S science.

Superstition, on the other hand, is something you "feel." Plug Global Warming, Gun Control, Environmentalism, Voting Democrat and Bottled Water into that "equation" and you'll see what I mean. It ain't very scientific, but it sure is superstitious.

Welcome back to the Dark Ages.

See? Playing with words is fun. Now... will somebody send me some money? I'm broke, starving to death, my feet are swollen and I can't afford to go to the doctor. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

If you do, I'll tell you all about the new recording equipment I bought with your my money, just as soon as I purchase groceries, pay my doctor and take care of all these TERRIBLE bills.

I'll do that just as soon as I return from my trip to Costa Rica.


Never mind the swollen feet, I want to hear more about the garden vegetables and battery powered vibrating devices....

Posted by: Ruth on July 25, 2005 07:35 AM

I'm with Ruth on this one! :)

Posted by: Maeve on July 25, 2005 09:26 AM

How 'bout Titties and Toenails?

I expect you may be an expert on both.

Posted by: Elisson on July 25, 2005 10:31 AM

Yep, science tells me that when I drop a hammer it is going to hit the ground. But Murphy's law tells me when I drop a hammer to get out of the fucking way because it is going to hit my foot.

Posted by: GUYK on July 25, 2005 10:53 AM


Take out this part: "with garden vegetables and battery-powered vibrating devices" and change "morning sunrise" to afternoon sunshine, and you've just described my Saturday afternoon. Yum...

Thanks for the Monday morning flashback, Aman. Oh, and the bumper sticker too!

Posted by: Jane on July 25, 2005 11:41 AM

To quote Monty Python (forget which movie/sketch):
"With a MELON??"

Posted by: Horrabin on July 25, 2005 08:47 PM
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