Gut Rumbles

July 15, 2005

not my idea of joy

I've fired a lot of people in my life. In fact, I did it to one person while his wife went into labor in the company parking lot.

I never liked doing it. But that was my job, so I did what needed to be done. I also agree with this quote:

... Actually I believe that Ive never fired anyone. They fire themselves. They quit but just dont realize it. If you tell your boss to fuck himself, it s the same as saying I quit. If you dont show up for work or show up late, it says, I quit. The moment someone steals, its as if they say, I quit! Being fired is having the boss tell you that you quit. You were just too damn dumb to say it yourself.

When I once trained new supervisors, I used Matt Dillon on "Gunsmoke" as an example of what they might have to do. You make your "rounds" on the street with a hog-leg strapped to your hip. You never WANT to pull that gun, but you'll be left with no choice sometimes.

If you ever have to draw it, shoot to kill.

I did it, I taught others to do it, but I never enjoyed that part of my duty. I never liked seeing someone lose a good job, but they always fired themselves. All I did was compile the paperwork and present the case. POOF! they were gone. I received no joy whatsoever from their misery.

Jennifer had to pick two people from her group to let go in the last "downsizing" I saw at work. She LOVED doing that. She fired the shit out of two people who had 20 years at the plant (not for poor job performance--- just for head-count) and came home HORNY after she did it. She was proud of her display of POWER and she wanted to fuck.

I didn't understand it at the time and I still don't. Hell--- she's done the same thing to ME and I still don't understand it.

A supervisor is paid to enforce discipline in the workplace. Sometimes, that means firing somebody. I just never liked that part of my job. It was "dirty work" to me. If you don't have the stomach to do it, you're in the wrong job.

If you ENJOY doing it, however, maybe you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror.


Hate me, adore me, bite me! Not for the faint of heart!!!! wooooo hooooo...

I got me a lifetime commerative, family heirloom, BUMPERSTICKER from the ACIDMAN!

Matter of fact, I got two!!!!!

My day, week, month, and possibly entire YEAR has just been made!

(And I think I just lost 2 drops of pee as well...)

I hope this means I am on the official ACIDMAN Christmas card list as well.....

Posted by: Ruth on July 15, 2005 01:12 PM

Ruth, I TOLD you to keep your britches on. Where I live, it takes three days for mail to go from Statesboro to my house (35 miles) . I have no idea how long it takes for mail to go from me to somebody else.

Posted by: Acidman on July 15, 2005 01:34 PM

Maybe BC just stayed horny?

Posted by: catfish on July 15, 2005 01:34 PM

I kept my britches on, but as I said, I did wet them a bit upon opening up my mailbox....(I am still short of breath as I type this)

Very nice though, the black with red....(that was done on purpose, I presume?)

But you didnt autograph 'em, ya wee bastart!

Posted by: Ruth on July 15, 2005 01:37 PM

HR people have to be the most worthless human scum in the world, only one step above lawyers and ministers.

Posted by: james old guy on July 15, 2005 01:50 PM

Good supervisors don't have to fire many peoplpe and when they do the firing is well justified. When a supervisor lays down the law the first day employees know well what is demanded from them. First offense ususally rates an ass chewing and documentaion. Second offense gets the offender a few days off without pay and is documented. The third offense rates the ax.

I have fired supervisors over employee fuck ups and supervisor cover-ups of employee fuck-ups. When it is my idea, my hard work and capital that puts the idea to work, and my profit margin that is hurt by fuck-ups it will be done my way or the fucking highway. If an employee wants to do it there way then by god they can start their own company! They just have to understand that when they work for themselves they will be working for one demanding MF otherwise they will go bust the first month.

Must have worked because I sold out last winter with healthy profit after capital gains am now retired and enjoying nearly every minute of it.

Posted by: GUYK on July 15, 2005 02:02 PM

iIonce fired a woman after she broke her leg in a car accident on the way to work. I tried to explain to her it was not missing this day of work, it was all the others she missed when not sick. After all, the union negotiated the attendance policy and her husband was on the negotiating team. i did not enjoy it, but it was not me who missed all the days of work.

Posted by: hoosierboy on July 15, 2005 02:37 PM

Those who don't want power are generally the people who know how to wield it in a responsible, just way. It's those who WANT power you've got to look out for.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on July 15, 2005 02:48 PM

I have a cousin named Jennifer... she's also a very cruel person... very cruel indeed. I don't talk to her much... everytime I do it the conversation devolves into my family being the reason for her poor life choices... Funny, how people blame their poor positions on others when they're the one's made the bad decisions in the first place. OUCH.

Anyway, got to say I stumbles across your site while searching for "coins" on google. That snippet about your peeves regarding cashiers handing back your change really pricked my interest. Best of luck to you! I keeping checking back.

Posted by: Andy on July 15, 2005 02:51 PM

I'm with GUYK. A good supervisor RARELY has to fire anybody. On the other hand, there are a lot of sorry ass supervisors out there. Lord help your ass if you know more than your supervisor or can do a better job than he or she can. They will get rid of your ass in a New York minute if they think you are competition. Having said that. I have had to fire a few for thievery and the like. I never fired someone for sorry work because they know from day one that I expect the best. If they are better than me at my job then it is high time I moved on up or moved the fuck out.

Posted by: assrot on July 15, 2005 03:38 PM

I agree totally that people who are fired have usually already "quit", at least in their own heads. In the military they call it FIGMO: F**k, I got my orders...meaning "screw this job, I'm outta here!"

Posted by: Tessa on July 15, 2005 03:42 PM

you a cold bitch aman in the parking lot damn

Posted by: ccracs on July 15, 2005 03:50 PM

Hey Rob,
Could we get a lesson on how to fire people? Seriously? I'm a supervisor, and completely OJ trained. And, big surprise, I've never been present at a firing.

Oh, there's a termination procedure in the manual. It tells us how to document and establish a paper trail. What it doesn't do it spell out the least painful way of telling deadwood it's been pruned.

Could we get the details of "firing a lazy ass, the Acidman way?"


Posted by: Lamont Cranston on July 15, 2005 03:54 PM

I disagree with those who say that a good supervisor seldom has to fire anybody. Some people just ask for it.

The work rules are plain. When you warn somebody THREE TIMES (oral, written, then suspension) and the idiot still doesn't want to play nice, you've got to get rid of them.

Supervisors who DON'T do that caused me more problems than any employee ever did.

Posted by: Acidman on July 15, 2005 04:14 PM

The more I read about Jennifer, the more I think you may be damn lucky to be clear of her as cheaply as you are.

Posted by: robert on July 15, 2005 04:51 PM

Yep, acidman, that is what I meant and supervisors who don't maintain discipline in a work place are not good supervisors and most of the time their production ratio sucks.
A lot of times a simple ass chewing when needed stops the problem and a supervisor who can't do it has no business being a supervisor. Firing an employee who doesn't produce or will not follow the rules was never difficult for me. What was difficult was having to decide who to layoff during a down period because sometimes that last hired first fired thing loses some damn productive help.

Posted by: GUYK on July 15, 2005 05:32 PM

I want my bumper sticker autographed!

Posted by: livey on July 15, 2005 10:14 PM


I once ran across a machine shop where they laid off the guys in the middle of the experience/skill chain.

The rationale was that they were most likely to be able to land another job quickest. They didn't want to lay off their most experienced hands and the less experienced guys were cheaper to keep and train up.

It seemed to work for them.

Posted by: StinKerr on July 15, 2005 11:20 PM

The more you reveal about Jennifer the more I wonder what you saw in her.

The part just now about firing people, the cruelty and lack of any kind of basic empathy or human feeling, the gleeful power madness... the warning signs were there on the wall long before the hammer fell that she was Evil.

Why is it that sometimes we *know* it's a blender and we still put our dicks in?

Posted by: Greg on July 16, 2005 04:32 AM

"I've fired a lot of people in my life. In fact, I did it to one person while his wife went into labor in the company parking lot."

Somehow this doesn't surprise me ONE BIT.

So what show did your boss use as an example when he FIRED YOUR SORRY ASS? I just hope he did it in the parking lot on a hot fucking day and your AC wasn't working in your piece of shit truck. That and a flat tire would be at least a little justice for the poor bastard you fired at the worst possible time of his life. But at least he got the last laugh knowing he still HAS A WIFE AND KID AT HOME.


Posted by: PJ on July 16, 2005 05:59 AM

So, PJ you think we should keep bad emplyees because of their life situation? It is clear you have never been responsible for profit or productivity.

Posted by: hoosierboy on July 16, 2005 10:09 AM

No Hoosierboy, you are right, we should always put profit and productivity over human life anyday. Who cares if the bastard's wife is in labor, he needs to be fired NOW. Geeez, I believe it is clear YOU have never been responsible for employees and their livelihood in your life.


Posted by: PJ on July 19, 2005 03:24 AM
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