June 26, 2005

the party

Everything worked out well at the Catfish Manor yesterday. I met another blogger for the first time, and we had enough calm between storms to shoot up a bunch of ammo out on the backyard range.

Brian, who is Dana's Significant Other, gave everybody a marksmanship lesson. That sumbitch is GOOD, with rifle or pistol. After I watched him fire six .30-30 rounds almost all through the same hole in a target, I was suitably impressed. I could cover MY spread with my hand. I could cover HIS with a 50-cent piece.

That's good shooting. But he OUGHT to be good, because he once was a marksmanship instructor in the Marines. Plus, he's younger and has steadier hands than I do.

The Low County Boil (or "Frogmore Stew") was exquiste. We ate outside on picnic tables, and the shrimp came fresh off the docks the day before. I pigged out like a sloppin' hog. I ate until my belly was distended, and then I ate some more. I had TWO beautiful wimmen peeling shrimp for me, like I was a Roman Emperor. Sometimes, it's GOOD to be king.

Even Catfish said, "Goddam, bow-legs! I haven't seen you eat like that in years!" I burped, farted and said, "Gimme some more shrimp and another piece of that corn on the cob."

After that, I made the mistake of taking a brief power nap in the Catfish massage chair. I gotta get me one of those. Turn it on and Magic Fingers start kneading you like a lump of bread dough. The sensation is heavenly.

But I had a few jokesters hanging around at the time, and I believe that some compromising pictures were taken after my "friends" decorated me while I was asleep. I won't describe the pictures, because I suspect that they will appear shortly on certain blogs. You can check them for yourself.

Don't ask me about the carrot.

I ended up spending the night--- NOT because I was drunk, but because I was having too good a time to pull out and leave after dark. A somewhat subdued velociman attended, as did Recondo 32 and his lovely wife, Georgia. A good time was had by all.

We gotta do this again sometime soon.