June 24, 2005

oh but Rob, it DOES matter what you say (to that question "Does this dress make my ass look fat?")

For example, a WRONG answer would be....hmmmm, okay, heres an example of a WRONG answer: "Honey, that is one of the largest arses I've seen this side of the Atlantic....however, you'd be really popular in Samoa or Tonga or wherever the fuck it is they like those really big women. Tahiti? Is that it?"

'it DOES matter what you say (to that question "Does this dress make my ass look fat?"'

I always answer that question by saying "Fat? It looks like a couple of badly parked Volkswagens."

To give credit where due, that line was used on a TV show called Red Dwarf.

You can't win, but you can minimize the damage. How 'bout

"Yes, Take it off! Nothing can be as purty as you nekid."

"It's not the dress, darling. Eating cheeseburgers and skipping the gym for six months makes your ass look fat, dear."

Walking up hill behind a fat woman , my Dad remarked to me: "Looks like two wildcats fightin' in a burlap bag!"

It's not that men don't have an ideal to compete with, its that woman know how to find beauty that isn't skin deep.

Best answer is to make 'em keep showing you. From multiple angles. Further away. Closer.

Have her wiggle it some. Yeah. Move it.

Next thing ya know, you've got a lap dance without the $20 outlay. *m'heh*

But I did see a broad at the grocery store today, sorta looked like.........

(____!____)

(if her pager goes off, people in line at the winn-dixie think she's backin' up)

( / troll )

Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

That is a no win question....so is the one "will you still love me after we are married for 20/30/40 years?" Like we are going to either a: admit to her face we are assholes (for those of that ilk) "Why don't you worry about that darlin....by the time you reach 40, I'll be with two 20's" OR b. (for us non-asshole types) Why would I have stayed with you for this many years, if I didn't love you....when I look at you now....I still see the same sweet woman I married x number of years ago." That usually works when that comes up from time to time.

Oh what a load of BS Acidman.

There's very little a guy can do to get the average woman's motor running. And if there was, you know every guy would be out there doing it. If today they discovered that big purple hats turn women on, by the end of the week every available man in the world would be wearing one.

So men in general don't pimp themselves up because they only get one benefit out of it, they look nice.

As to why women screw with their own heads, geez, that topic is just too long for a comment box.

Sorry Aman, you're wrong there! Not ALL women are like that! There are plenty out there that are happy with the way they look and are secure enough with their personas and achievements not to have to rely on compliments to make them happy, and I'm one of them!

Mind, you , the fact that I have an IQ of 150, a great rack and an ass that won't quit probably helps.

Mind, you , the fact that I have an IQ of 150, a great rack and an ass that won't quit probably helps.

Which, in your case Misty, proves that IQ is no replacement for good, old fashioned common sense.

The only weight problem I've ever had was being too thin, but sometimes you end up with the same bad body image simply because people just won't STFU about how thin you are. Thankfully my self-esteem isn't even remotely attached to my physical characteristics.

Subtle pick up lines are best IMHO, but if you really want to get me interested, the ability to make me laugh will win every single time. Those that know me well know that I have a secret desire to get it on with Drew Carey LOL.

It's wimmen who give other wimmen the insecurity. They wind each other up by constantly talking each other down or talking other wimmen down behind their backs.

My sis-in-law and her friend ran into another woman they knew from school. The long lost school mate looked GREAT. They were beside themselves with envy. They discussed her when they got home and after searching for something to criticize they finally found it: They decided that she had "fat ankles".

Nobody's perfect and it takes woman or two to prove it.

I never ask that question. I know when my ass looks fat. I know what clothes make my ass look fat. How do I know? I go to Wal-Mart and let the latino women look me over..if I get that 'eye flicker' that means.."Honey, if you're wearing that, kiss your man goodbye."..then I know I need to dress a little different.

Some of those lines are very much compliments after 10 years of marriage, however. Nice to know that after having 3 kids, the sight of my lips can still excite that response. But on a first date...been there too..and it wasn't a compliment..or a date any longer.

One of the benefits of marriage is punishing honesty is more difficult than in single life:

"Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

"No dear, it's your big ass that does that."

I prefer to use this line.......

Sweetheart, don't ever log onto GutRumbles.com if you want to keep your sanity..........(especially if you are British and have an IQ of 150). By the way, you have a great rack babydoll, but that beautiful dress you have on seems to makes your arse look fat.

PJ

Hmm, a compliment? Why thank you. A critisism that someone thinks my dress makes my arse look fat? So what? I like the dress and I'll wear what I like :) If anyone out there is suffering poor self-esteem, I recommend
they read Cynthia Heimel's Sex Tips For Girls. http://www.likesbooks.com/heidi53.html
If anybody has self-doubt inflicted on them by others who have critisized them unjustly, please read 'If' by Rudyard Kipling. (precis)
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it.

interesting how you blame western civilization for women's insecurity...but i can recall a number of posts on this very blog ridiculing women for being fat...many complete with pictorial evidence.

Fat women (and men) should be ridiculed. The holier-than-thou fatties have been harping for years about cigarettess, the whipping boy of the 90's & 00's. Yet diseases caused by Orca-ness costs more tax dollars than old geezers with ashy lungs. You fatties want respect, then stop spending your paychecks on Oreos and Crisco.

How did you know that I was spending my paycheck on Oreo's and Crisco Ruth? You been stalking me again? I suggest you taste this little combo before you judge me babydoll. Then come and hop on daddy's lap and have another bite of the sweet stuff.

PJ

Misty,

The dress is never that important anyway, because I would have you out of it in NO TIME...LOL. Besides, I always prefer to judge how nice a dress looks as it lays crumpled in a pile on the floor in the corner of the room next to my underwear.

PJ

Rob, you just need to avoid the Neurotypical wimmin. Now, I'll admit, that yer tossing out 95-98% of all wimmin to start with, but if you do get a relationship with an aspie chick, and she asks you if her butt looks fat, she expects an honest answer. And, she doesn't spend megabucks on makeup. And, she prolly has a degree in electrical engineering, and owns a trampoline.

And. (unfortunately) she has probably either been snapped up years ago by a cool guy who appreciated her, or has been taken advantage of and maybe raped at knifepoint so many times that she gets all twitchy when any male person gets near her.

Aspie wimmin are very honest, intelligent, and straightforward. They are also very rare. What's funny is, that I, no prize myself, managed to keep company with several wimmin who, well, rocked.(and flapped, and spun.) They told me, eventually, to go away. Being rational, they understood that I did not have the resources to do the boy-and-girl thing with them in proper style. Being rational, their idea of proper style was quite modest compared to that of yer average "princess."

If you can find an unattached one who likes you, that's the best kind of woman. Just don't get annoyed if she'd rather read a book, or play computer games, than fuck.