June 22, 2005

dancing with cadavers

Here's another unheard-of blog. Maybe this one NEEDS to remain unheard-of. Bejus! The post that's on the top of the main page right now is enough to gag a maggot! DISSECTING A HUMAN CORPSE? IN HIGH SCHOOL??? Remind me never to dedicate my dead body to medical research.

I became grossed-out by having to dissect a CAT in physiology class in high school. The smell of formadehyde still makes me retch today.

I have two acquaintences that I've known since high school who went on to become medical doctors. They are fine, dedicated people and I really believe that I would trust them with my life. But they also are sick fucks, too. Medical school does that to you.

One of their favorite stories to tell is the time they set up a female anatomy professor with a really clever practical joke. See... they had two corpses to work with in class the next day... one well-endowed black man and one young white female. Two jokesters snuck into the anatomy lab, removed the penis from the black man and inserted it into the vagina of the white woman. Then, they put the bodies back on their slabs and covered them up nicely.

The next day in class, everybody was all a-twitter to see how the professor would react when she discovered their handywork. The corpses were wheeled in, the professor threw back the sheets, and totally nonplussed--- she took a pair of forceps and removed the black penis from the white woman's vagina.

Waving that trophy around, she asked, "Does THIS belong to any of YOU?" When nobody stepped up to claim it, she tossed it over her shoulder, where it landed with a loud PLOP sound in the corner of the room, and she started the anatomy lesson.

Always remember one thing about doctors: To THEM, whether you're alive or dead, you are nothing but a piece of meat.