Gut Rumbles
 

June 15, 2005

nudity

I am not one bit ashamed of walking around with no clothes on. Hell, I go to "clothing optional" resorts a couple of times every year and my option is ALWAYS not to wear any clothes. I don't have the best body in the world, but I've never seen anybody lean over and puke when I walked by wearing nothing but a towel draped over my arm.

Besides, I've encountered people of all shapes and sizes from all over the world at those places. (and anybody who believes that sex runs rampant there simply has a dirty mind. Sex runs just as rampant at any Holiday Inn in the summer.) Nudity and sex are NOT the same thing.

It's difficult to lie and put on false airs when you're butt-nekkid in front of strangers.

I believe that the world would be a much better place if Congress were required to meet nude. Take away all those $2,000 suits and let's see the person behind the curtain. I wonder if Robert Byrd would still be such a fan of the filibuster if he had to do it with his withered shanks and dried-up dingle in the wind? On TELEVISION, so everybody could get a good look.

How about Ted Kennedy. Now--- KENNEDY nude just might be enough to make you lean over and puke. Or Hillary Clinton. BEJUS! Take her clothes off and I think you'll find a really skanky thing underneath.

But, I digress. My point is that nudity is NOT a bad thing and more people should practice it. Your nekkid body is nothing to be ashamed of, unless you're ashamed of your body already. But I'll tell you one thing for sure: no matter how bad you think you look without clothes, you'll always find someone who looks worse at a nudist resort.

So, Why don't YOU get nekkid, too? I see nothing immoral about it.

Comments

Are you blogging nude again, Rob?

Posted by: Chet on June 15, 2005 12:47 AM

Gee thanks for the senate visual, Darling. I'll have nightmares.

Posted by: Juliette on June 15, 2005 01:18 AM

How do you know I'm not nekkid right now too?

Posted by: Misty on June 15, 2005 01:49 AM

I'm a strange motherfucker, yes I am. I think girls are sexier with their clothes ON, albeit, not in those Puritanesqe wrappings, or, Godforbid, the sheets that they wear in Moslem countries, but pretty much something on the idea of the typical tight jeans and a T-shirt that've kind of become a staple for young women in the past few decades. Can't really explain it, except that it adds a sense of mystery; your mind tells you that she'd look hot nekkid, but then there goes most of the seductiveness once the clothes are off.

Okay, enough of that; nothin' aint wrong with nudity, as long as it's in the appropriate place ( I wouldn't advise walking through downtown Mecca in your birthday suit unless you're in the mood for a Bible-era punishment in the form of several dozen airborne stones flying in your direction.) If half the people on a typical nude beach are as ugly as I've heard they are, I can suddenly see why popular nudity, wouldn't entail a culture of sex as much as Puritanicals think it would.

Posted by: JG22 on June 15, 2005 02:20 AM


That statement ranks right up there with Potsie on Happy Days when he sees the nude babe on the centerfold of a Playboy magazine and proclaims "Wow, would I like to see a sweater on THAT". I can only imagine you get a whole lot of pussy JG22. Good thing there are still some drunk, blind, horny, desperate, fully-clothed women out there for ya. Good luck dude.

Posted by: PJ on June 15, 2005 03:18 AM

Your comment about Congress being naked reminds me of an incident that happened to Ted Kennedy.

Several years ago, when he was between wives, candid photos appeared of Kennedy and a female companion out on his boat. Let's just say that the phrases "clothing optional" and "in flagrante delicto" applied to the situation.

The pictures, needless to say, caused quite a stir.

At the time, Howell Heflin was the senior Senator from Alabama. He was well known for his dry sense of humor.

As a press conference he was giving was wrapping up, a reporter asked him about the Kennedy incident. Without skipping a beat Heflin replied "Well, let's just say that I'm surprised that Senator Kennedy appears to have changed his position on offshore drilling".

I damned near soiled myself laughing when I heard it.

Best ad lib ever.

Posted by: Rich on June 15, 2005 09:26 AM

*Vomiting profusely*
Goddamn! Ted K. nekkid!!! Thanks for ruining my breakfast!!!

Posted by: Maeve on June 15, 2005 09:41 AM

Yeah, right there wit' ya, Maeve.
I have to go wash my fuckin' BRAIN now, to get that horrifying image outta there.
EW!!!!!

Honestly, Oswald and Sirhan BOTH shot the wrong Kennedy.
Just damn....

Posted by: Stevie on June 15, 2005 11:39 AM

Always thought it sounded like fun. I'd probably do it if I had enough to drink first, but in all the pictures I've ever seen of people who don't wear clothes, everything sags.

Posted by: Jane on June 15, 2005 11:47 AM

I always go naked around my house, but the old fart across the street always yells at me when I go outside :(

Posted by: livey on June 15, 2005 12:56 PM

Livey. as long as he is not yelling, "put it oin" let him yell.

Seems that I remember a photo of Jackie Kennedy runnig nude on a beach. Must have been in the late 1960's. Anybody else remember or was it a wishful thinking dream?

Posted by: GUYK on June 15, 2005 01:27 PM

But he is guy!

Posted by: livey on June 15, 2005 01:37 PM

Hey, GuyK,

I can't find the picture (yet), but I think I remember seeing it myself once.
I did, however, find an article about Jessica Lynch and Larry Flynt that says he published nude photos of Jackie sunbathing at some point.

I'd do a link to it, but I doubt it'd work, so here's the whole url to stick in your browser search bar, if ya want to:

http://www.seacoastonline.com/2003news/11152003/col_kerr/60931.htm

Posted by: Stevie on June 15, 2005 03:36 PM

Where did the MSM get the idea that bloggers wear pajamas?

Posted by: Brett on June 15, 2005 05:58 PM

How about Jerrold Nadler aka "Jabba the Congresscritter?

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on June 15, 2005 09:59 PM

I've been to a nude beach a few times. Of course it was a long time ago, back when I was in my 20's. I would gladly go again if I lived closer and my wife didn't object.

The first time I tried it, I was very self concious for about 30 minutes. Once I got over that, it was a very enjoyable experience.

Acidman is right. There's nothing to be ashamed of. And the beach I was on - Blacks Beach in San Diego - there were all different kinds of people, of all ages and backgrounds.

Oh - one word of advice if you decide to take the plunge... Use sunscreen.

Roy

Posted by: Roy on June 16, 2005 12:38 AM

I have a stupid question. How do all of you that go around naked in your house keep your furniture from smelling like ass or ball sweat or pussy juice? Don't tell me you sit on a towel. I know better.

Posted by: assrot on June 16, 2005 02:11 PM

Good point, Assrot. I'd at least wear underwear; I don't want to go into someone's house and sit on furniture with bodily fluids/ass sweat leaked all over it, and I don't expect anyone else to want to.

Posted by: JG22 on June 16, 2005 08:22 PM
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