Gut Rumbles

June 14, 2005

this don't look bad


It's missing one thing--- NO GOT-DAM GRITS!!! It ain't a true Southern breakfast unless you've got a pile of grits to go with those eggs. I am ashamed of Steve H. for not knowig any better.


Yeah, no meal is complete without a mouthful of wet sand.

Posted by: StinKerr on June 14, 2005 01:50 AM

I've lived down here for ten years and have yet to have decent grits unless they're smothered in cheese or maple syrup or I'm drunk.

Posted by: gordon the magnificent on June 14, 2005 03:02 AM

You forgot the cat steaks.

Posted by: Yogimus on June 14, 2005 03:11 AM

What no cigarettes?

Posted by: Robert on June 14, 2005 03:16 AM

Oh goodness, sweet tea and grits..... 2 reasons for me to move south. *trails off dreaming of sweet tea*

Posted by: Alli on June 14, 2005 04:32 AM

Looks good, but what exactly are 'grits'? We have many things over here, but not grits unless you count the stuff you put on the road when it's snowing. Oh, and can someone let me have a recipe for 'biscuits' please :)

Posted by: Misty on June 14, 2005 05:26 AM

Misty here's a retty good recipe for biscuits. This website also has many other excellent southern recipes too.

Posted by: Steve on June 14, 2005 07:44 AM

Just finished breakfast, a bowl of grits with butter-not the oleo shit but BUTTER-couple of eggs over easy, and smokehouse bacon, four thick slices fried crisp. Doc only lets me have a cup of coffe a day so I use a liter beer mug for my coffee cup-no sugar, just a little cream-not creamer. The artificial creamer crap will make all of your kids be born necked.

Posted by: GUYK on June 14, 2005 08:25 AM

I am truly disappointed. You have screwed up the traditional southern breakfast. WTF did you do to eggs? Come ON, they gotta be "Sunny Side Up." Where the fuck is the thigh bone that's supposed to be in that "Might Be Virginia Ham?" At least you fessed up to lack of grits, but even hominy or "Fried Taters and Onions" would have filled the gap. The balckberry jam is a very nice touch, but, homemade mullbery jam from grandma's would have sealed the deal and home made butter doesn't come in those cute little squares.

Sweet tea with breakfast is an abomination. Hot black coffee with no additions is in order and the spoon should stand up in it, and for God's sake where's the "Red Eye Gravy!"

I thought you was Southern!

Posted by: Ed on June 14, 2005 08:25 AM

Looks pretty damn good to me. This is one Southerner that can't fucking stand grits. My maw and grandmaw tried to shove those nasty got-damn things down my throat my whole life. I gag to this day just thinking about grits. Same goes for Hominy. I also can't fucking stand snotty, slimy eggs. They got to be sunny-side up to be good.

Posted by: assrot on June 14, 2005 08:51 AM

ASSROT, if you can't stand slimy, snotty then you should never order Sunny Side Up eggs. Short order cooks ain't what they used to be, but Waffle House still seems to do a passable job.

Eggs are like pussy. They need a little lubrication.

Posted by: Ed on June 14, 2005 09:20 AM

Where's the Vegemite on toast?

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on June 14, 2005 09:36 AM

Vegemite (or Marmite) is an abomination of the highest order, surpassed only, perhaps, by balute!

I have sampled the former, but not the later. I'd rather go on "Fear Factor!"

Posted by: Ed on June 14, 2005 09:40 AM

Would you get off the breakfast thread? You are making me fat(ter) because you trigger cravings and I go on a cooking spree.

And Ed is right, short order cooking seems to becoming a lost art. When did over easy become over runny? To get over easy you have to order over medium any more.

Posted by: Curtis on June 14, 2005 10:24 AM

Geez, dude, like it didn't take me long enough to cook that stuff WITHOUT grits.

Posted by: Steve H. on June 14, 2005 11:35 AM

Ed, Having tried both Marmite and Balut I can say that you made a wise choice in passing on the second. Although the folks in Bunbury are probably still laughing about the look on my face after tasting Marmite on toast. And eggs should be over greasy not scrambled Steve.

Posted by: Rey on June 14, 2005 02:53 PM

I had a big bowl of grits, not the five mintue kind, with plenty of real butter and a pound of Georgia smoked sauage on the side. When my brother, Arte lived in Yankee land, I would mail him grits and fresh green peanuts.

Posted by: catfish on June 14, 2005 03:17 PM

Grits - abrosia of the Gods. You must never, ever, ever attempt to cooks grits in the microwave unless you like gritty grits. Do yourself a favor and cook them on the stovetop. The only acceptable additions to grits are butter, salt, pepper, and maybe, just maybe a little sharp cheddar.

People who put milk, sugar, honey, etc. are to be drug off and shot!

Posted by: Ed on June 14, 2005 03:34 PM

Can somebody please tell me what grits are? :-/ as I said, we don't have them over here.

Posted by: Misty on June 14, 2005 05:32 PM

Misty: Grits are hominy, a type of corn. You have to be a southerner to appreciate them. They are an acquired taste Kind of like haggis. And people who don't know how to cook them can put you off them for life.

Posted by: JohnR on June 14, 2005 10:00 PM

Ah!, gotcha, kind of like the equivalent to porridge over here but with corn not oats. Porridge done badly is akin to wallpaper paste.
Cheers JohnR :)

Posted by: Misty on June 15, 2005 01:47 AM

Having the unfortuneate luck to have been born in Iowa, and thus a Yankee, my first experience with grits was in the Army.

I honestly thought that it was Malt-O-Meal, so I dumped sugar and milk on them. The drill sargent quietly came over to the table and told me, "I know you're a private, and don't know much, but if you ever do that to grits again I'll have you !"

Thus corrected, I love them! One does not have to be from the South to like them, but I think you have to be Southern in your outlook.

Posted by: Curtis on June 15, 2005 01:31 PM

Well said Curtis!

Posted by: Ed on June 15, 2005 01:46 PM
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