Gut Rumbles

June 10, 2005

nothing is safe!

Check into your hotel room. Hang the "Do NoT Disturb" outside. Lock the door.

You're SAFE, right?

According to this alarming report you're NOT safe. In fact, you may be in great danger.

University of Arizona microbiology professor Chuck Gerba conducted a study of a dozen Tucson hotels. As the Arizona Republic put it, TV remotes hold more than batteries. "One of the dirtiest places in the room people don't expect is the TV channel changer, believe it or not," Gerba told the Republic. He has even found fecal bacteria on those remote controls.

And you thought there was shit on television...

What's a traveler to do? Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water or use alcohol gel to clean your hands after you touch items that are prone to bacteria. "That's probably one of the best defenses you can use," Gerba told the Arizona Republic. "Just remember, every place you're touching, someone else did it before you."

Using that line of reasoning I suggest that you THROW AWAY ALL OF YOUR MONEY IMMEDIATELY!!! I'll be happy to take that filth-ridden, multi-touched stuff off you hands, and even reward you with a bottle of antiseptic hand-soap in the process. We just can't be too careful anymore.

Really... when you consider all the scientific research published today, I think we need a government regulation requiring everybody to wear Level-A Haz-Mat suits anytime they venture outside. We should sleep in Level B suits, with a really good respirator strapped to our faces. This world is a dangerous place.

You can't just walk around ignoring all this deadly shit whirling around you, the way we've been doing for 10,000 years. We need to PROTECT ourselves.

And we need to do it For The Children.



I have fucked and sucked hundreds of women and I am still alive.

What really surprised me at my last physical was that my liver function was "normal".

Posted by: rightisright on June 10, 2005 10:20 PM

The germs on a remote control in a hotel room don't scare me...the sheets with crusty spots DO though LOL.

Posted by: Chablis on June 10, 2005 10:25 PM

Come into my room and I will blow your fucking head off, I carry a gun, everywhere I go, Cat

Posted by: catfish on June 10, 2005 11:00 PM

Not too many years ago, I worked a tour with a well known female artist from Nashville. After some Nashville TV station did an "investigative report" on hotel cleanliness, she loaded extra pilows, sheets, towels-EVERYTHING!

Even if it was a 90 star hotel, and it often was, she would not go to her room until her assistant cleaned the room and changed everything that could be changed. I shit you not.

I remember seeing that program, and marveled at what was on the bedding that you could only see with a black light.

Dey wuz powafull maxfunkiness goin' on

Rob, you checked your couch lately?

Posted by: James Hooker on June 10, 2005 11:00 PM

Fuck it. I strip the damned bedspread off, and trust my twin gods Bleach and Starch. I leave a hell of a lot more than I get, I guarantee.

Posted by: Velociman on June 11, 2005 12:37 AM

Chuck Gerba is quite the character! I worked with him briefly on a research team when I was an undergraduate research assistant. He is totally germ obsessed!

Posted by: Desert Cat on June 11, 2005 12:54 AM

I view such things as a test for my immune system. Considering I've not gotten sick working at a HOSPITAL, I'd say I have an immune system equivalent to the Predator.

Posted by: Cythen on June 11, 2005 01:28 AM

And i can walk out into the street and get hit by a bus, shot by a stray bullet, bitten by a snake. Someone order my BUBBLE now please. My opion is there is just as many germs today as there was hundred years ago, the problem is we can find them now.

Posted by: Death Medicus on June 11, 2005 02:39 PM

A nice jug of Clorox wipes is a wonderful thing.

Posted by: Symph on June 11, 2005 11:09 PM

Here we are, going bonkers because some guy with a cold might have touched the remote, while our forefathers had to deal with shit like trench-foot, hastily crawling through dirt, mud, and God-knows what else, harsh winters, possibly tropical diseases in the case of Viet Nam, wounds getting infected...

Just Damn!

Posted by: JG22 on June 13, 2005 02:54 AM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.