Gut Rumbles

June 04, 2005

bloom county

Did you ever read that comic strip and laugh your ass off at the adventures of Opus, Bill The Cat and the rest of that crew? I did, for several years. I thought "Death-Tongue" was an excellent name for a rock-n-roll band, too. (If you didn't get that. you never read Bloom County.)

Some comments on this post reminded me of another character I liked in Bloom County. Remember Steve Dallas, the fancy-coiffed, slick-talking, cigarette-smoking con-man LAWYER? I do.

I especially remember the series where Steve is defending a mass-murderer and really laying the "compassion" argument as thick as country butter on cornbread before the judge. His client, meanwhile, is sharpening axes, honing knives and even attempting to crank a chainsaw in the background.

When Steve is finished lying his ass off, the judge tells Steve that his words were too moving to ignore, so the judge gave the mass-murderer two years probation----- to be served in Steve's home, with Steve as guardian.

Steve's final words were.... "Now, WAIT A MINUTE, JUDGE!!!"

I don't care how "compassionate" and "understanding" you may claim to be. If you're willing to take a seven year-old sociopath into your home, you go right ahead. Sleep well at night, too.

But until you're willing to do that yourself, don't holy-roll about how this kid doesn't know right from wrong and his darling self shouldn't be thrown away like a used Kleenex. Take him into YOUR home and teach him to sing "Kumbaya." But keep his dangerous ass away from ME.

I think there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with that kid, and I don't believe it can be fixed, either.


Rehabilitation thru rencarnation

what a great idea

Posted by: Heath on June 4, 2005 02:10 AM

Even better was when Steve Dallas, paragon of maledom, became a bleeding heart feminist Dukakis supporter. That entire scenario was hilarious, as was Opus' guerilla campaign against the Evil Hordes of Mary Kay.

Posted by: Moss on June 4, 2005 05:46 AM

Bloom County was a gas! Early years were great, and that sequence you describe is one I have thought of in conjunction with a lot of the pissing and moaning over Gitmo -- to the point I was writing a post along these very lines. Love 'em so much, take them in.

You make a good point here, though. While I beleive that people can and do change over time, mostly for the better, there are some who never will. I fear very much that this boy is one of the latter, for something is missing and may never be there.

Posted by: Laughing Wolf on June 4, 2005 07:27 AM

Yes, there is something seriously wrong with the boy AND the parents who should have been caring for him. Wish they could all be dumped off in the Brooks range, Alaska, hundreds of miles from nowhere.

Posted by: Bonita on June 4, 2005 07:56 AM

Depending on this kid's history, I would most definitely put my money where my mouth is and consider taking him into my home. I have had larger, scarier children under my roof before. I was a specialized foster parent and worked primarily with 'tweens and teenagers who were on the fast track to kiddie jail, so I know a little of which I speak and I'm not just talking out my ass about accepting a troubled kid into my home. Having no other information on the kid other than what that article provided, I can't honestly say one way or another what I would do with him. If there were prior incidences of sociopathic behavior, I'd agree that the kid is probably lost, but I don't get that information from the article. If the kid were 10,11,12 years old...I would feel MUCH differently than I do right now. I just don't agree that a 7 year old has the capability to form knowingly and purposely set out to kill someone.

My only point in my original response was that I find a society that would call for the death of a 7 year old child disgusting. Whether or not the kid knew what he was doing is beside the point for me. Perhaps you're right and he IS a sociopath...I still would NEVER support the death penalty for a kid his age. I'll always support the death penalty for problem there...but I can't fathom a world that puts young children to death. Perhaps it's just a harsh reality of life that I don't want to accept. Maybe I am just a Miss Mary Fuckin Sunshine where children are concerned. I don't believe that all young children that do such things can be 'saved' but I DO believe that, if there is any criminal population that I would happily exhaust all resources on, it would be kids.

Posted by: Chablis on June 4, 2005 08:27 AM

Maybe he should be shot with that Rohm.

Posted by: rightisright on June 4, 2005 09:59 AM

Bill the cat was the greatest character ever

Posted by: Robert on June 4, 2005 03:05 PM

dear Miss Sunshine, my husband, (a family therapist specializing in child development), says there is more hope for the child than for the parents; and he looks for positive people who think like you, willing to give any child a chance, because they are in the minority.

Posted by: Bonita on June 4, 2005 05:48 PM

LOL thanks Bonita. I was beginning to think that maybe *I* was the one off her rocker.

Posted by: Chablis on June 4, 2005 08:41 PM
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