Gut Rumbles

May 03, 2005

19th century man

I shoulda been a cowboy.

I've watched enough of the "Western Channel" lately to become convinced that I was born after my time. I don't like horses, but if I had been born back then, I would have learned to ride really well. Give me a sidearm, a good rifle, a canteen and a blanket, and I would be ready to go anywhere on my horse.

Life was less complicated in the 19th century. If you didn't like where you were, you just saddled up and rode someplace else. I could do that.

Money went a long way. If you had $30 in your pocket, you were a well-to-do man. You could buy a room, a bath, a whore and a bottle of whiskey and STILL be a well-to-do man the next day, if the whore didn't steal all your money You might be known as "the stranger in town," but if you didn't start any trouble, people left you alone.

Try that today. The government knows everything you do. You must have "ze papers," including a driver's license and a Social Security number. Government keeps track of your bank transactions and they want their cut of that pie. You can't just saddle up and ride to the next town anymore. They'll be watching you.

Oh, I like air conditioning and microwave ovens. Civilization is a good thing. But look at what we sacrificed to get those froo-fraws: Our freedom. Was it worth the trade? I don't think so.

I shoulda been a cowboy.


Track down and read what's known as "Jackson Turner's Frontier Thesis."

Interesting read.

Posted by: GORDON on May 3, 2005 12:49 PM

When do you reckon our rulers will try to outlaw cash?

Posted by: Brett on May 3, 2005 12:59 PM

When do you reckon our rulers will try to outlaw cash?

Right after they succeed in "getting the money out of politics."

Posted by: McGehee on May 3, 2005 01:30 PM

Go to:

for a cowboy tribute.

Posted by: Max on May 3, 2005 01:51 PM

"I Shoulda been a Cowboy"

Great song by Toby Keith.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on May 3, 2005 01:52 PM

And we should have been pirates!

Posted by: torchpraise on May 3, 2005 01:58 PM

I'm with you Rob, except I think I'd miss flush toilets...

Some may call me a wuss for that, but I will say that I have used an outhouse, I have shit in the woods and I've used many a port-a-john, so I think I can safely say that yes, I would miss my toilet.

Posted by: DaveH on May 3, 2005 02:34 PM

We figure Acidman would miss those quiet nights all alone out on the prairie... with nobody else around... 'cept his "special" stump-trained mare.

Giddy-up, Acidman.

Posted by: torchpraise on May 3, 2005 03:33 PM

Novacain. I would miss novacain.


Posted by: Lamont Cranston on May 3, 2005 03:44 PM

I can totally see Rob as a cowboy. Or maybe a frontier lawman, or the guy who started a new country.

Posted by: Renee on May 3, 2005 03:57 PM

I'm rather fond of tetanus shots, the way I get dinged up working on things.

Posted by: Mark on May 3, 2005 04:26 PM

When I hear Acidman and cowboy in the same sentence, I dont know why, but, John Wesley Hardin comes to mind !! You know ?? The guy who was so mean that he shot some guy just for snorin !! I just wonder what Belle Star would have thought of his "bionic" peter ?? Just fuckin wicha Rob ..

Posted by: Wild Bill on May 3, 2005 06:03 PM

Comrades! Your earning potential and buying power is much greater now than then. Just ask me! But not about the last election...

Posted by: George Soros on May 3, 2005 06:43 PM

My wife tells me that I would have been just fine on the frontier. As you can see from my alias it may give you a hint as to what my interests / hobbies might be.

And to the politicians, their hacks, and the PC crowd, a big, FUCK YOU! I'd like to see how long their wuss-boy and wuss-girl asses would last on the frontier. A pox on them all.

Posted by: Scalplock1845 on May 3, 2005 09:20 PM

"I Shoulda been a Cowboy"

Great song by Toby Keith.

True enough, but I'm a cowboy and based on what I make in that capacity, I'm thinkin' I shoulda been a country music star!

Posted by: marcl on May 3, 2005 09:32 PM

Saw some old show (Outer Limits?) where some guy (doctor, i think) hated the modern world and managed to go back in time, one-way only trip.

Anywho, the end of the show turned into black and white with the old time piano and dialogue quotes between scenes.

Guy was pissed about the conditions, lack of sanitary areas, etc.

Unless I can figure out a way to steal El Dorado's gold, and bury it someplace I can return to in the future, screw going back.

Posted by: brian on May 3, 2005 10:01 PM

Time to watch the movie Lonely Are The Brave.

Posted by: Swede on May 3, 2005 11:04 PM

Regular baths. That is what I would miss. Can't stand stinky people. Since I ride horses any way, that would be 2nd nature to me. Piss in the woods? no problem.
Sleep in a tent no problem
People that don't bathe........

Posted by: Maeve on May 4, 2005 12:03 AM

While growing up, I never would have wanted to live in the 19th century. My tyrannical and vain contemporaries now make me wish I had.

Posted by: Brett on May 4, 2005 12:05 PM
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