Gut Rumbles

April 27, 2005


How many of you people know how to eat with chopsticks? I've done it for years now, and I'm pretty good at it. I can eat anything but soup with set of chopsticks.

I can't eat Chinese or Japanses food the way I once did. I think I've developed an allergy to MSG and it bothers my belly now, even though I still like the food. Bejus! Shrimp and rice and beef and chicken and pork and all kinds of sauces to dip that stuff into. Using chopsticks, of course.

I pity anyone who has never taken the time to learn how to eat with chopsticks. If you ever learned to hold a pencil in your hand, I can teach you to eat with chopsticks. My daughter can do it. My son can, too. It's NOT very difficult.

The next time you go to a Chinese restaurant, try eating with chopsticks. The food tastes better that way.


the arthritis means I can't. Although I never really got the hang of it before, anyway.

I enjoy eating chinese and japanese food with a fork just to be perverse.

Posted by: caltechgirl on April 27, 2005 02:02 PM

Been traveling to Asia lots this last year. No choice. Once you get used to them, they're quite handy.

Posted by: Mark on April 27, 2005 02:03 PM

Eating with choppers is fun

An old oriental friend once told me that being able to learn how to feed oneself with the sticks was a mark of intelligence.



Posted by: jb on April 27, 2005 02:15 PM

Its true...The food really does taste better with chopsticks

Posted by: Princess Cat on April 27, 2005 02:15 PM

Sooo.... do what I do and look for a chinese restaurant that has a big glowing neon sign NO MSG in the window. That crap makes me get a rash.

Chopsticks make you work for your food.

Posted by: Cythen on April 27, 2005 02:32 PM

Eating with chopsticks is just like having a sore dick. You just can't beat it.

Posted by: assrot on April 27, 2005 02:33 PM

My in-laws told me stories of times they would serve Chinese food for a first dinner with their daughters' sweetheart-of-the-week, and place only chopsticks for utensils, just to see what kind of character he had. They are twisted people, man. Must be why I get along so well with them. B-)

Posted by: Walrilla on April 27, 2005 02:36 PM

As an unrepentant bachelor, chopsticks and paper plates are indispensable in maintaing an effort-free cleanup. I buy a huge pack of the cheap chopsticks at the local Asian market, eat everything from spaghetti to Jell-O with them, then throw everything away when I'm done. Beats washing dishes!
The large flat-bottom soup spoons you can get at Asian places are also great for cold cereal.

Posted by: El Capitan on April 27, 2005 02:40 PM

Great to have you back! What's the big deal with Asia food? Eat it the same way you would soup or spaghetti: face down on the plate.

Posted by: Cappy on April 27, 2005 03:22 PM

hi Rob, great to have you back!! don't let the bastards grind you down. Steven den Beste wrote about getting irked at the complaints of his readers. he said that he was giving out free ice cream, and after a while, people were bitching about the selection. WTF?? if it's free, ya can't bitch about it.

Posted by: John Cunningham on April 27, 2005 03:33 PM

I love using chopsticks. I usually order my food "no MSG" because it gives me the shits.
You should try Japanese, they don't usually use MSG and it's cool to be around the table with strangers and cruise through your food like a piranha with chop sticks while most of them fumble.

Posted by: Graumagus on April 27, 2005 03:40 PM

that's the second time you've brought up chopsticks, and I still think it's fascinating that you don't eat sushi. Hey, there's no msg in that stuff and that's the freshest fish you'll ever eat that you didn't catch yourself. Try it sometime.

btw, I didn't get into that pity party pile-on earlier because I figured I'd wait a few days and see if you wouldn't bounce out of the bad mojo. glad to see you did.

Posted by: marcl on April 27, 2005 03:57 PM

God I hate Chinese Food. Ugh! Funny, I used to love that shit. I think I developed an allergy. I kept going to PF Changs with the guys at work. They all loved it. It started tasting nastier and nastier to me. The last time I ate there I got real sick and felt like I was tripping (on acid)! No shit. For about a year after that, going into a Chinese place made me naseaus. I can eat it a little now, but would rather not. And no, it wasn't MSG. I love that shit and sprinkle it on everything. It's called Accent. Get yourself a BIG bottle. Yum!

Posted by: Ed on April 27, 2005 04:00 PM

Caltechgirl, I'm with you.

I tried to master the damn chopsticks to keep up with my "more sophisticated" friends. Then one day I had an epiphany: I'm an American, dammit and I use a fork!! I want to SPEAR something rather than try to balance it between two twigs. Yeah!

And sushi? Well, I like my sushi well-done, thank you.

Posted by: Grace on April 27, 2005 04:14 PM

Just takes practice.

Posted by: McGehee on April 27, 2005 04:42 PM

Glad you've decided continue your blogging Rob.

Chopsticks definately break the routine of eating. Always is funny watching someone try them for the first time. My kids (5&7) are already proficient. Not bad for little Irish kids.

Posted by: JimA on April 27, 2005 04:43 PM

Still have a set of sticks with pearl inlays on the one end of them. They are lacquered and come to a point vice the pull a part types you get at the restaurants. The only way to work through a plate of oriental goodness. (Oh, and never tried using em with the rice wine either *grin*.)

Btw, glad to see you are back.

Posted by: Guy S. on April 27, 2005 06:56 PM

I'm very proficient with chopsticks; I better be, I travel to Japan on average of 2 to 3 times a year, no other choice! Can even eat soup with 'em (of course, you have to tip the bowl a bit)

Posted by: Michele on April 27, 2005 07:07 PM

Eating with chopsticks instead of a fork is like taking the horse and buggy instead of the Ford.

Quaint, but ultimately outdated and inefficient.

Posted by: rightisright on April 27, 2005 08:19 PM

So Right, are you telling us chopstick users (in a nice and subtle way) to get forked??? *grin*.

Posted by: Guy S. on April 27, 2005 09:50 PM

"Still have a set of sticks with pearl inlays on the one end of them."

Yup. And my forks are in the dishwarsher. My good American forks.

:) (xxoo to you Guy, don't want to pick a fight, but couldn't resist a little fun)

Posted by: Grace on April 27, 2005 09:50 PM

Nonsense. The food only seems to taste better because you are nearly starved before you (finally!) get it to your mouth.

I'm with RIGHTISRIGHT - we have a better invention in the fork. Enjoy the horse and buggy ride, but don't complain when you have to clean shit up off the floor.


Posted by: JPatterson on April 27, 2005 11:35 PM

Sheet! Whats the rub here? Us Okies don't need two sticks to eat. Give me a sharp knife and I will have dinner. and I'll poke the nigger that tries to snitch a bite

Posted by: murry on April 28, 2005 02:33 AM

Thousands of years of civilization and they still eat their food with two sticks?
Can you spell S-P-O-O-N?

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 28, 2005 10:08 AM

Chopsticks aren't hard.
I have coordination issues resulting from
childhood illness. Not serious but my fine motor
skills aren't all they could be.
Anyhow, I was out one evening at a Chinese place
with other staff from the training unit I was attached
to for the summer I was 18.
The adjutant had served in Korea and when I
picked up a fork he stopped me and showed me
how to use chopsticks in about 60 seconds. I was amazed at how easy it was even for me.

As to spelling "spoon", you do realise that the Chinese did use the fork/knife/spoon but
gave them up for chopsticks thousands of years

Posted by: IBM on April 28, 2005 11:06 AM

Why Gracie, wouldn't it be easier if your froks were on the table next to your plate??? (snicker). And I got the sticks in question while stationed overseas, so indirectly they were bought with your tax dollars bwahahaha.

Posted by: Guy S. on April 28, 2005 06:12 PM

I didn't know they had chopsticks in the south! Will the wonders never stop?

Posted by: Sean on April 28, 2005 06:45 PM
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