Gut Rumbles

April 27, 2005

mountain omens

My palms have been itching for the past couple of days. I don't have any bumps or any kind of rash--- just an occasional itch on the palms of my hand. My grandmother always told me that the itchy palms were a sign that you were soon to receive some money.

My grandmother may be a voodoo woman.

Yesterday, I checked my mail and found an interesting piece of literature in there. Kerr-McGee has launched a stock buy-back plan and they want to pay me RIGHT NOW for the 300 shares I own, at about $10 over market price per share. I'm going to sell it all.

What is interesting to me is the fact that I never bought this stock. They GAVE it to me for outstanding job performance, then fired me a couple of months later. I've just been sitting on it, like a hen on an egg, and enjoying the quarterly dividend checks, but now is the time to sell. They can have the stock. Just give me the money.

Even though I'm an English Major, I did the math. We're talking a considerable sum of cash here. No wonder my palms were itching.

My grandmother is a wise old woman.


Hey Rob -- first of all, I'm glad you decided not to quit.

Second, if it is really a considerable sum of money, you might not want to sell it all at once, if that is an option. Maybe sell some this year and some next year so that you don't have to pay the IRS a big chunk of change for getting a big bunch of money in one year. My dad did a similar thing -- he sold his business up here for 250k, but he had the buyer pay him over 3 years time, rather than in one big chunk. Just a thought.

Posted by: Alaska Kim on April 27, 2005 11:54 AM

Left hand itch is money.....right hand itch is meet a stranger.

Posted by: Maggie on April 27, 2005 12:00 PM

Not so much jerking off. Or, use rubber gloves

Posted by: Marcia on April 27, 2005 12:13 PM

What happens if your feet itch?

Posted by: Moogie on April 27, 2005 12:13 PM

Boy, you don't get nearly as many comments when "you're back" as when you "quit!" I'm glad you're back. I like your stuff!

Posted by: Lolly on April 27, 2005 12:19 PM

Hey Rob, can I borrow some money?

Posted by: DaveH on April 27, 2005 12:22 PM your hand itchy?

Posted by: Maggie on April 27, 2005 12:26 PM

The tax man commeth.
Best stock up on the vasiline!

Posted by: Ed on April 27, 2005 12:30 PM

Seriously, Smif

Consult a broker.

Kerr-McGee is enjoying record profits, and they would not offer the buy-out if it were not to their advantage to get you to sell.

Don't go dumb to their machinations again.

Consult a broker, or don't ever bitch online about this cash out. You cannot blame the BC for this one.

Consult a broker.

I could suggest you buy into my company, but one share is 83 grand.


Posted by: jb on April 27, 2005 12:39 PM

Really glad to see you back! I agree with JB, tho; at least talk to a broker. My granny always said 'If it's sounds too good to be true, it is'

Posted by: Michele on April 27, 2005 12:53 PM

Talk to a broker, and to a tax prep/accountant type. There can be some really interesting tax liabilities on sales like that.

And I'm sure you that Uncle Sam is only slightly higher than the ex on your list of people you want to give money to. 8)

Posted by: LibraryGryffon on April 27, 2005 01:16 PM

"Kerr-Mcgee announces 133% increase in 2005 First-quarter results". They're making a shit-pot of money off of their oil and gas operations. Maybe they don't expect the high energy prices to last, and they're investing their windfall in reducing the number of outstanding shares, which cost them about $1.80 in dividend payouts per share every year. Might be tax advantages, too. Kerr's stock is now higher than it's been in 10 years, so it might be time to sell. On the other hand, watchoo gonna do with that $25,000? The dividends are about 2.2%; compare that to what you might get on other investments. Watch out for capital gains tax on the stock. What was the cost basis for those 300 shares they gave you? $60? If so, that's $7500 in income that you'll have to pay taxes on.

And oh, btw, glad you're back. Always try to outlast your enemies.

Posted by: ispdrudge on April 27, 2005 01:43 PM

I just want to chime in here, because I care.

Watch the fuck out. There's this thing called Alternative Minimum Tax. A lot of dot-commers who used to be millionaires are now working shit jobs to carry hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt to the IRS, because of that bitch.

Get professional help.

Posted by: dipnut on April 27, 2005 01:48 PM

Everyone keeps talking about the tax man. The first thing that popped into my head was the BC wanting her share.

Posted by: Becky on April 27, 2005 01:56 PM

That entered my mind too. What better way to get her grubby hands on more of Rob's loot than for him to be tempted to cash in his holdings.

Sadly I think this fiasco with his retirement payout might have been avoidable if it had been rolled straight over into an IRA. He'd still have most of it now. But she knew well enough to pounce after the 60 day rollover period had expired.

Posted by: Desert Cat on April 27, 2005 02:19 PM

I was thinking the same thing as Becky. Just watch out. You know she reads this blog.

Posted by: Sam on April 27, 2005 03:10 PM

ROFLMAO! You are so full of shit, telling your readers their e-mails convinced you to come back.

You came back blogging because you couldn't stay in a bad mood with those dollar signs in your eyes!

Hell, I ain't complaining. I'd be he same way.

Posted by: McGehee on April 27, 2005 04:32 PM

What they mostly said, talk to a money pro. Avoid headaches you damn well know are out there.
Oh, glad you're back!

Posted by: Stu on April 28, 2005 01:53 AM

Definitely look into all the legal and tax ramifications before you do anything. I get the feeling that if you jump on it too hastily, you'd better spend some of your new capital gains on the two biggest tubs of KY jelly you can find - one for the IRS and one for the BC. Oh, and pick up one of those donut-shaped cushions too.

Posted by: Tom on April 28, 2005 02:20 AM

algore is back. Be scared
I will blow up another day, liberal motherfuckers need shot.....Who said that? My mind only works in conservative ways sorry

Posted by: murry on April 28, 2005 03:06 AM

Glad you're back. But it's my first visit, so I never missed you. Funny shit, I'll be back.

K-M is also buying back all odd-lots (<100 shares) of stock at $85, beginning May 15th. Stock was at $78 yesterday. So, buy 99 shares, sell em next month for about $600 profit. Not a bad deal.

Posted by: wavemaker on April 28, 2005 07:59 AM

BTW, your hands itch -- you been using a pick-axe lately?

Posted by: wavemaker on April 28, 2005 07:59 AM

Once again, beware the taxman if you sell. I have a 2 year degree in accounting. (That means I hated dealing with all the tax code bullshit to much to go for the CPA degree.) What I do know about this situation is that since this was a bonus, there were probably no taxes deducted. So, if you sell, there is no investment in it to recapture, just pure profit on a "gift" = maximum taxes. Be careful my friend. BTW, glad you're back. I didn't comment the other day but you are the first of my daily reads. I suspected you were just having a hissy fit. Love your blog.
Matt Walter,
a.k.a. DrugStore Cowboy

Posted by: DrugStore Cowboy on April 28, 2005 10:30 AM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.