Gut Rumbles

April 21, 2005

my aching ass

How has the human race managed to survive? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! Again. This time from hot dogs.

Bejus on a bike. I think I'll just crawl under my bed and never come out again. These bullshit "studies" keep making the headlines in spite of the fact that people live longer, healthier lives than EVER BEFORE in history. WTF?

Ya just can't win. We're surrounded by toxins and deadly shit, but the average live span continues to increase. I could publish my own study showing that all this "toxic" stuff must be GOOD for us, because people grow taller, live longer and have the spare money to fund this kind of research. But that "study" wouldn't scare the shit out of anybody, so it wouldn't receive much publicity.

Got-dam. We actually pass laws based on this bullshit.


Pass laws and pay people to study that kind of crap.

Posted by: tincanman on April 21, 2005 10:19 PM

Fukkem. I'd rather have a Hebrew National than some hunk of Argentine beef any damn day. Remember when you could get a damn good, huge hotdog at the movies? Not any more.

Posted by: Bane on April 21, 2005 10:20 PM

I would like to know, what do these assholes eat, when they go to a ballgame?

Posted by: catfish on April 21, 2005 10:57 PM

Those assholes don't go to ball games. The go to gay bars and play other kinds of ball games.

Posted by: Bane on April 22, 2005 01:16 AM

I think, In my pissass opinion, is the fuckers are jealous cause they can't imbibe in a silly ol' dog because those "science in the public intrerest" fucks say it's bad.. They're pussys and also pussywhipped!
Fuck 'em! If it doesn't have fat in it It ain't good, If it's in a glass it better have whiskey in it...
We all like to get fucked up, they don't know the word"up" pussys
And my hats off to the Marine that spit bacca juice in fondas face!

Posted by: murry on April 22, 2005 02:31 AM

Study Says Antarctic Glaciers Are Shrinking, Sea Levels May Climb

Friday, April 22, 2005; Page A09

Most of the coastal glaciers along the 1,200-mile Antarctic Peninsula have shrunk as temperatures have risen over the past 50 years, and sea levels may climb if the trend continues, according to a study published today in the journal Science.

Posted by: U R Stoopit on April 22, 2005 08:13 AM

You got it wrong. The average life span in the USA has gone down. Europeans on average live longer now. Dunno about hot dogs, but you really should read up on public health statistics before you start pontificating to the masses.

Posted by: Lu on April 22, 2005 08:16 AM

They had $1 hotdogs at the astros game last night.
I doubt the hotdogs I ate are gonna kill me, but the
price of the beer almost did. $8 a beer! yumpin-yiminy.

Posted by: Joe on April 22, 2005 08:34 AM

LU, go back and check those life expectancy numbers... 15,000 seniors died in France cause of a heat wave last August. The influx of non-Europeans to the continent has dramatically reduced life expectancy according to WHO reports.

Posted by: Maggie on April 22, 2005 08:43 AM

Maggie, Listen you silly fat cow. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Stupid cunt!
At least 10 European countries have life expectancy longer than the US's 69 years.
Japan, Canada, Australia and Singapore also have longer life expectancy. What the death of seniors in France during a heat wave has to do with international life expectancy statistics only you know. Try to stay focused and on topic. Put down the beer and jelly doughnuts and pay attention!

Posted by: LU on April 22, 2005 09:16 AM

Is it just me or does LU qualify as an minor troll with a small dick and no brains?

Posted by: James Old Guy on April 22, 2005 09:50 AM

Don't know where Lu gets its information, but if you Google US life expectancy, the information is right there. 77.2 years.

And it has been INCREASING steadily for the past 100 years.

Posted by: Acidman on April 22, 2005 10:55 AM

If hotdogs cause cancer well itís worth the risk. Plus LU, next time you quote life expectancy please be specific: is this a ďfrom birthĒ figure or post infancy. If you want to be believed be specific. Also the name calling isnít nice either.
Also where did you get your numbers?

Posted by: jim on April 22, 2005 10:58 AM

Not only is Lu wrong, but violently profane in his/her factual inaccuracy. I think I'd want to be sure I had the facts on my side before calling someone else a "silly cow," a "stupid c*nt", or saying she doesn't "know what the fuck [she's] talking about."

I wonder where that 69 figure came from. The LE for Americans has been higher than that for some time now...

Posted by: Tom on April 22, 2005 12:22 PM

Maggie, punch him!! What a lowlife jerk! Not nice on a Friday.

Posted by: Anastasia on April 22, 2005 01:30 PM

Thank ya'll for the support....Acid, darlin...seems like there's another cockroach round here.

Seems like Stupid is as Stupid does, but

It being Friday and all:


Posted by: Maggie on April 22, 2005 01:56 PM

to the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic"

There's a chemical that poses deadly danger to us all
If we don't eliminate it, we are headed for a fall
But our governments refuse to see the writing on the wall
They're going to let us die!

CHORUS (after every verse):
Ban dihydrogen monoxide!
Ban dihydrogen monoxide!
Ban dihydrogen monoxide
before it kills us all!

Dihydrogen monoxide is a chemical to fear
Uncounted thousands die of inhalation every year
Yet the FDA allows it in our burgers, beans, and beer
And never questions why!

In gaseous form it's subtle, without color, taste, or smell
But it's part of acid rain, and it's a greenhouse gas as well
It's also found in car exhaust, which makes our cities Hell
And dirties up the sky!

It's widely used by industry, and agriculture too
They dump it on the ground or in the river when they're through
And from the ecosystem it gets into me and you
Which they dare not deny!

You'll find dihydrogen monoxide everywhere you go
In oceans, rivers, lakes, and streams, in air and soil and snow
Its quantitative formula is simply H-2-O
You'll get it if you try!

How far DHMO has spread no one can safely tell.
They've found it on Europa, and it's on our Moon as well.
It may well turn our Solar System to a living hell!
It's filling up the sky!

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on April 23, 2005 09:39 AM

An intellectual is a person who keeps thinking up new ways to scare himself.

Being one, I hate that definition. Being one, I recognize the justice of the smear.

What I'll never understand is why the intellectuals' phobias should be codified into law. Perhaps they shouldn't be granted any public monies; they live off the fat of the land, don't have the grace to recognize that fact; then casitgate us for being too stingy!

I'd be satisfied if they'd cease ruling us, and the government told these interest groups that the people are not interested.

Posted by: Brett on April 23, 2005 12:34 PM

Just you wait. Within 2 years, there will be a study that proves that people who eat only hot dogs live longer.

By the way, Ivan Ivanovich, that is hysterical. I'm going to start singing that in all possible public occasions.

Posted by: JayC on April 23, 2005 11:31 PM
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