Gut Rumbles
 

April 20, 2005

dogs are like that

This post made me laugh. I've seen dogs do that kind of stuff and I NEVER understood what was going through their doggie minds. I know that they like to camouflage their scent, but I've seen dogs roll in COWSHIT and come running up expecting you to be proud of them.

If I am ever reincarnated after I die, I want to be a dog so that I can figure out what they are thinking when they roll in the smelliest thing they can find. I've SEEN dogs do this.

Once, I went out walking when my family unit was still intact and I had paved streets in my neighborhood. I took Bud with me. I didn't put him on a leash, because he was pretty good at heeling when I scolded him. But he suddenly dropped out of formation.

I turned around and saw him rolling in the street. Somebody had smashed a toad on the road and Bud was getting a hair-full of THAT scent. I yelled at him and he gave me that "What did I do?" look. Dogs do that, too.

I couldn't explain to that 90-pound, hairy dog that rolling on a dead toad in the road was NOT a good thing to do. I took him back home and gave his hairy ass a bath in the back yard before I let him back in the house.

After that, he decided that walking with ME after dark was a bad thing, and he never went with me again. He never connected the dead toad to the bath in his doggy mind. He just believed that I became evil after dark.

He was correct.

Comments

I think your evil all the time...not just after dark...just kidding. I saw my beagle eat a turd just recently. She is off my doggies to kiss list...permanently. Why on earth would you eat a turd?

Posted by: Joe on April 20, 2005 01:05 PM

Joe,
I hate to tell you this, but almost all dogs eat turds. Better questions is why do you have a doggie kiss list?

Posted by: James Old Guy on April 20, 2005 01:08 PM

I think it's a vestigal hard wired behavior. They haven't been domesticated that long in the Darwinian scheme of things. It masks their scent so they can hunt undetected.

Posted by: DaneBramage on April 20, 2005 02:03 PM

That's simple: dogs are stupid.

Which reminds me of a funny Tonight Show bit, don't know if it was Carson in his waning days or Leno. But they did a thing about the new flavored waters for dogs, beef, mutton, etc. Leno (or Johnny) said if they really wanted something dogs would like they should make one called "Other Dogs' Asses."

Posted by: rivlax on April 20, 2005 02:10 PM

I love my dogs, but sometimes I think their favorite food is horse shit. Which actually doesn't bother me when compared to their occasional trips to the litter box to eat cat shit.

Posted by: DaveH on April 20, 2005 03:06 PM

I love dogs (note the handle) but there's no way I'm letting one lick me anywhere above the neck if I can possibly help it. I saw one of Letterman's "Stupid Pet Tricks" where a woman's dog slurped milk out of her mouth. Made me want to (Hank Hill) vomit(/Hank Hill).

Posted by: BlogDog on April 20, 2005 05:01 PM

Dogs don't have the concept of anything smelling bad. It's all just information, to them. A lot of information. A fascinating symphony in every turd and carcass.

The grossest thing I ever saw a dog eat was a cow placenta that had been lying in the sun for a week. It was all dried up and black on the outside, but the inside was still glossy red. It stank with a metallic gangrenous stench. These two mutts were fighting over it, tearing it apart, gobbling it up.

Posted by: dipnut on April 20, 2005 05:19 PM

One day while I was home on maternity leave, my husband came in from the morning walk with the dog. Seems the damn dog rolled in a pile of fresh, steaming dog shit. He hands over the dog and rushes out the door because he does not want to be late for work. Fucker was laughing too.
I also have one better for ya Dave. One day after riding my dog puked up all the manure that he just ate. Dumb dog proceeded to EAT the manure he JUST puked up.

Posted by: Maeve on April 20, 2005 07:12 PM

dogs are pack animals. Your dog expected for you to be proud of him for doing it because it's an evolved behavior to roll on a dead carcass and return to the pack so that their packmates will know that they've found a kill and that it's time for everyone to eat.

Posted by: marcl on April 20, 2005 07:32 PM

But you've never seen a CAT eat feces!!
Yeah, dogs are smarter alright.

(Couldn't help myself, A-Man)

Posted by: Indigo on April 20, 2005 08:59 PM

Speaking of dogs eating their own vomit... One of the most vile things I have EVER seen was my neighbors blue heelers eating the worms out of a fresh pile of cow shit after he'd wormed his cows.

Posted by: DaveH on April 20, 2005 09:19 PM

I was hiking along the Verde River (yes, year-around water flow in AZ). Sally was running ahead and I wasn't paying attention. She started rolling in a still warm pile of cow shit. I really don't know how I was able to throw her five feet from the bank into a four foot deep river without getting any shit on me. Similar to mothers who lift cars off their child, I guess.
But, the look on her face while she rotated in the air was priceless.
She won't go near cow shit. But, I can't keep her from sneaking near the catbox.

Posted by: Dan Pursel on April 20, 2005 11:42 PM

My dog, a lovable smart 110 pound six year old Rotweiller named Jasmine, likes to roll in almost anything as long as it smells. Worms and dead things (toads, mice, voles, birds, etc.) seem to top the list. I hauled a net full of bloated dead earthworms from the pool when we uncovered it last week. Sure enough, Jasmine finds the pile of deadness and rolls in it like she was doing the twist to Bill Haley and the Comets. I think her favorite thing, next to a good belly rubbin', is deer poop and owl pellets.

Posted by: Florida Bill on April 21, 2005 09:06 AM

Dave H - One of the reasons I train my cats to go outside is because I can't convince my dog that the litter box is a canape tray just full of Kibbles 'n Bits.

At least, if he's indulging on cat snackies outside, I don't know see it.

Posted by: Trish on April 21, 2005 12:50 PM

You'll never see a cat take a bullet for you either....

Posted by: DaneBramage on April 21, 2005 01:02 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 06:52 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 06:53 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 06:56 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 06:56 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 07:01 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 07:01 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 09:23 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 09:25 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 09:26 PM

One of mine once rolled in a carcass of a dead cow. Came out covered in blood and guts.

A couple nights ago, three of them got the worst skunking I've ever smelled. They loved it. It's still really bad.

Can't imagine not having dogs.

Posted by: MM on April 22, 2005 11:36 PM
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