Gut Rumbles

April 20, 2005

offering versus demanding

My friend catfish and I had a discussion on this topic the other day. He's like me. We'll BOTH give you the shirts right off our backs if we think you need them worse than we do. Hell, we believe in being generous.

But being generous walks a fine line---- very close to Being Taken Advantage Of. Some people don't know the difference. (Or they KNOW and choose door #2 out of pure-assed selfishness) It's happened to both me and Cat before. We live and learn.

I give generously to charity and I have helped several people get to Jawja blog-meets when they didn't have the money to make it without my aid. But I OFFERED that aid of my own free will.

Here where I live, we have a term for people who always show up at YOUR house, eat YOUR food, drink all of YOUR beer and NEVER bring anything of their own. They are called "googers." (That's pronounced GOO-Jers) The world is full of those people and I don't like them.

Being the nice guy has cost both me and Cat a lot of money over the years, and it will probably cost us more in years to come, because we are nice guys. There IS some truth in the old adage that "nice guys finish last."

I'll give you my shirt if you want it. But walking up to me and DEMANDING it, because you have a cute ass, takes a lot of fucking nerve in my book. But some people have a lot of nerve.

No conscience... but a lot of nerve.


Remember the adage, "No good deed goes unpunished." I've had it happen to me too many times, but I'm learning.

Posted by: Woody on April 20, 2005 01:12 PM

Mark me down as one of those who would not have made it to this last one without your aid - I was the Rob and V-Man charity extravaganza at Jekyll. My ass ain't that cute, either. Wide and flat, like the Plains of Jericho...

Rob, you and Cat both are the epitome of generosity. I don't think anybody could say differently. Y'all come next time, you plan to sponge off ME. What goes around, comes around...

Posted by: Kelley on April 20, 2005 02:10 PM

In Ireland there's an old word called gauger - pronounced gow -jer. It means something similar. In Australia the word bludger means someone who is always taking and using. We also use sponger in Britain. Harold Wilson once famously called the people of Northern Ireland spongers - and then of course there's the self-explanatory user.

Posted by: Nelly on April 20, 2005 03:06 PM

Nice guys do indeed finish last. Not because we're (yes, I consider myself a nice guy) slower, but because we're always helping everyone else finsh.

Posted by: Stereotype on April 20, 2005 03:49 PM

I've heard a few yankees call em:


Somehow I like the ring a that.

Posted by: Maggie on April 20, 2005 06:48 PM

I have entered my mid forties and have successfully removed all the "googers" from my life. Family ones included, I also have developed a knack for spotting them at a distance. I know who I can call at three in the morning and request their shirt. When I get that call my friends receive nothing less in return.

Posted by: Billy Budd on April 20, 2005 08:03 PM

We call them Wigglers

Posted by: Billy Budd on April 20, 2005 08:04 PM

And how much worse it is when they don't even have the courtesy to demand it of you. Instead, they get crooked politicians to milk you for it so that they get a handout.

Posted by: JPatterson on April 21, 2005 02:27 AM
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