April 10, 2005
finish my novel
Here's the start. Got any ideas about where to go from here?
*The morning sun stole in through the window like a sneak-thief and stabbed Larry right in the eyes. He sat up suddenly in bed and his head almost exploded. Holy Bejus! What did he do last night?
He had no idea where he was, what he was doing there, or how he arrived. But he looked to his left and saw a nekked woman asleep next him...
* The sound of mosquitos and other blood-sucking insects buzzing outside made the tent feel cozy. Larry grabbed Martha by her ass. "Wanna fuck?" he asked, as romantically as he could...
* The stealthy fingers of sunrise crept over the horizon, slowly bringing light to a new day. That's when Larry sat up in the sand dunes on the beach and stuck the pistol in his mouth...
* The first blow sent Larry staggering backward. The second one took him to his knees and he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. The third lick put him face-down on the floor in a puddle of blood, "Damn, honey," he moaned. "That's my Calloway Big Bertha driver. Don't fuck that thing up."
* Sometimes you find trouble and sometimes trouble finds you. Larry was good at doing it either way. When he heard the front door open, he grabbed his pants and left through the bedroom window. He was halfway down the fire escape before he realized that he forgot to get his shoes...
* She was hot. She was HOTTER than hot. The bottle of wine was almost empty and Larry felt like a lucky man. They kissed... long, tongue-wagging kisses.. and Larry slipped his hand down into her panties.
He found a dick bigger than HIS down there. He tried to run, but the "woman" put him in some kind of wrestling choke-lock, and said, "Tonight. your ass is MINE!" That's the last thing Larry heard before he blacked out...
Take it from there.
Acidman awoke in a cold sweat. Once again to face the reality of his life.
I'd say Larry was one busy fucker.
"Larry". The ruler slammed hard on the desk.
Jeez, Sister Mary Bill was sure pissed. Larry determined he was not going to dayderam anymore in class. Man, he just had to pass the third grade or everyone would think he was an idiot.
"Larry gripped the baseball and looked toward home as the Kissing Bandit dropped over the left field wall..."
OK - Larry is in bed with a woman in a tropical setting as the sun rises, fucks her, then manages to get to some sand dunes (beach, I guess) where he is not putting a pistol down his throat - was she THAT BAD? And all this BEFORE the sun actually has risen?? He's FAST!! Then, switch to a new location, Larry is being pummelled with his own golf club, by said girlfriend I guess. Next scene Larry is screwing some babe and has to climb out through a window , after which he scores with a transvestite....
Larry needs a long, long rest in a convalescent home where the nurses have very short skirts and deep cleavage showing uniforms.
After a while, (weeks) the acid wore off. Larry then became aware of his surroundings.
"Holy Bejus!!" he ejaculated, (while realizing he was actually ejaculating, thanks to the nekkid woman).
"you stroke a mean....."
Larry's not doin' a whole lot for me. Sounds like a pussy, likely selling faux jewelry at a kiosk in the mall, little respect for himself, less for women.
If I was writing the chapter, he'd owe the wrong person money and be dead by nightfall.
"and be dead by nightfall"
Then how could Acid make any money off a sequel?
oh, shit here we go again!
Ken, You mentioned the "S" word....
Wet farts....sequeled again this week!
We are all doomed.
"He found a dick bigger than HIS down there. He tried to run, but the "woman" put him in some kind of wrestling choke-lock, and said, "Tonight. your ass is MINE!" That's the last thing Larry hears befpre he blacked out..."
To his immense relief he woke up to find his donkey gone, and his sphincter in tact.
"The stealthy fingers of sunrise crept over the horizon, slowly bringing light to a new day. That's when Larry sat up in the sand dunes on the beach and stuck the pistol in his mouth..." forgetting that he hadn't changed the kool-aid from the day before. BIts and pieces of sugar-free strawberry banana oozed their way down his throat.
"Damn. We gotta get a better super-soaker."
Think I'd Terry Schiavo that thing. We'd all be better off.
The sun filtered through the blinds and placed its insistant kiss on Larry's eyelids.
He groaned and reached for the pillow beside his. He burrowed his face into the narrow indentation that was left there.
O.K. kids, time to turn down the lantern and hit the hay. No more talking. No, you cannot have more hot chocolate. No, no one can borrow my flashlight, I'm using it to read. Save your stories until tomorrow.......
..............and then he was awake.............. he was in acidmand land, he was sure, ..........but, not quite sure, if that was him..............or if he was having a horrible naightmare...................
"Tonight your ass is MINE". That's the last thing Larry hears before he blacked out.
Larry awakens with a smile, knowing at last that he is complete. That deep unnamable ache was satisfied, replaced with a new, more satisfying pain. ...
Larry awakens to the soft brushstrokes of Rosie O'Donnell licking his left ear. He cries out in terror, "Oh, God, nooooooo!!!!"
The swirling, endless nightmare continues....
His unconcious mind drifted back to that little San Francisco bath house where it all started.........