Gut Rumbles

April 06, 2005

53 years of study

After consuming the precious resourses of our delicate and pristine, ever so fragile planet for 53 years, I feel qualified to make a list of ten people that I absolutely hate. No... that's the wrong word. I REVILE these people. Not in any particular order, although #1 IS #1.

#1: Jimmy Carter. That man was the worst President of the 20th Century and I believe that the grinning bastard may hit the top five of ALL TIME WORST!!! before all is said and done. The man was a complete incompetent. And anybody who believes that the trouble we have in the Middle East TODAY didn't start under Carter's watch is full of shit. Nobel Peace Prize, my ass.

#2: Jane Fonda. Personally, with all the compassion in my heart and all the mercy in my soul, I think that bitch should have been hanged for treason a long time ago. What she did during the Vietnam War is unforgivable to me.

#3: Franklin Roosevelt. Yeah, I know a lot of people worship his ass and he got us through WWII (and allowed Stalin to eat his lunch at Yalta), but that man did more to destroy the meaning of the United States Constitution than anyone else who ever lived. That's the only reason Abraham Lincoln won't be on this list. Lincoln shit on the Constitution, but Roosevelt wiped his ass on it.

#4: Michael Moore. Jabba The Butt. Do you know what I hate most about him? He believes that HE is brillisnt and everybody else in this country is a complete schmuck. The fact that his propaganda-mentories have been so successful is testimony that he just might be right.

#5: Lyndon Johnson. He picked up where Roosevelt left off and introduced "The Great Society." Boy, that was one of the all-time "great" brain-farts. And I'm not even going to mention Vietnam.

#6: Ted Kennedy. What a sack of shit. He should be a convicted felon for vehicular homicide instead of a United States Senator. But the People's Republic of Massachusettes keeps reelecting the fat, drunken bastard. What I REALLY HATE is the fact that this pissant of a man, who couldn't be elected DOG CATCHER in Effingham County, Georgia, has so much influence over my life.

#7: Rachel Carson. Probably the greatest mass-murderer in history and the Mother of hysterical environmentalism.

#8: Bill Clinton. What can I say about a United States President who leaves cum-stains on a 19 year-old intern's dress? He belongs on the list.

#9: Kofi Anan. If you read history, you'll remember the League of Nations. That didn't work out very well. But we were bound and determined to set up SOME kind of World Government, so we brain-farted the United Nations. Kofi Anan has taken this corrupt, inept, incomptent, anti-American, laughable pile of rabble to depths that even I didn't think it could reach.

#10: Jaques Chirac. I wonder how many times George Bush has just wanted to kick old Jaques square in the balls and then beat him with the heel of a cowboy boot? Or maybe just walk up and bitch-slap the arrogant bastard? Personally, I vote for bitch-slap. followed by ball-kick, followed by a good whuppin' with the heel of a cowboy boot. Jaques Chirac is in love with his own ass and he doesn't give a tinker's dam about his own country and he HATES us. Well, I hate him right back.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this post. I fell down and couldn't get back up, so I thought. I left a lot of really good names off the list and I avoided using any group names such as "Islamo-idiots," "Democrats," "lawyers" or "ill-tempered Sky-Caps."

I think I done good.


I may have substituted Ramsey Clark for Chirac, but a minor quibble. I'll frame this list anyhoo.

Posted by: Velociman on April 6, 2005 11:19 PM

Now . . . my 52 years of study . . .

I would include GWB in the mix because I believe he is the stoooooooooopidest idiot to ever occupy the OoTP, but that is my personal opinion, to which I am entitled as an American (I would call him an SOB, but apparently, GHWB did engage in certain reproductive sessions with his very liberal wife).

But proving a stupid man to be stupid is the hardest task imaginable, since one must delve into stupidity and wear the mantle so as to understand it. I have done it, and I do not wish to tread those steps again. I hold stupidity to be a topic best studied by those who know it best.

What is most important, coming from you, Gut, is the very precise, and common, reason why every one of your choices belongs on your own list.

That, I would gleefully wager, you could not explain.

You got the list pretty well right, you just don't know why.


Posted by: jb on April 6, 2005 11:20 PM

Stupidest?? (There's intelligent talk.) What does being a son of a bitch have to do with him fucking his own wife? He's stupid but you can't prove it? "One must delve into the stupidity and wear the mantle....I've done it?" Sounds like you never took the mantle off. "Very precise and common reason?"....What the fuck is that? sound like a real rocket surgeon there, dude.

Posted by: DONGER on April 6, 2005 11:32 PM

I guess he thinks the only thing GW did right was to breed with his "liberal" wife, populating the planet with more liberals. You people are gonna cling to every last thread of hope you can for the revival of the democratic party. BWAAAAHAAAHAAAAHAA! It's great entertainment. You wanna find the salvation of your lost party, find some values. Or flounder? I don't give a fuck. You want to make a point. Then get off your 2nd rate education and quit trying to talk in riddles. Quit trying to create the most complex sentence structure you can in order to make yourself appear intelligent. Have some fuckin' nads and say what you mean and can the spooky talk. No one's impressed.

Posted by: DONGER on April 6, 2005 11:51 PM


I suggest that you "engage in certain reproductive sessions" with yourself, you pompous windbag blowfart.

"I would gleefully wager" that you will enjoy it.

Posted by: Grace on April 6, 2005 11:51 PM

Oh yeah, subject, context.....Michael Moore is my favorite whoopin' boy. Somehow though, its lost its shine. Sure would like to whoop on 'ol JB there for a while....whattaya say there A-man, give him some of that English major shit, complete with all the five dollar words, poetic flow and witty comic relief. Let him have it. That sackless pansy.

Posted by: DONGER on April 6, 2005 11:59 PM

Perfect responses

From Americans who have no clue as to what their own constitution promises them.

Like those in the Soviet Union, you believed the leader and you are clueless.

Too funny. I call someone to constitutionally defend themselves, and they call me names. Little wonder the constitution is a dead document uner glass in Philly.

Grace, you are so clueless, that a response to your idiocy borders on being a compliment. GO to school and learn what being an American means, girl, because you simply do not have a clue.

Donger . .. .

You are incapable of political distinction, and thus, you are only capable of ad hominem.

Damn, Gut, you ought to correct your groupies occasionally.


Posted by: jb on April 7, 2005 12:00 AM


True critics will attack your argument

Pretenders will attack you.

Thus far, only pretenders . . .

Posted by: jb on April 7, 2005 12:02 AM

Alright, Joe Blow, or whatever. Want me to break the ice for you? Here it is:

Best as I can tell, we do not have two parties, but rather one party with two divisions, that are philisophically distinct, but differ little in terms of action. Presidential elections, domestically, are largely window-dressing for descisions that are going to be made anyway. For example, I assume that Bush favors leaving the borders open because businesses want more cheap labor, and the Democrats favor the evaporation of the borders because they want another welfare bloc to control the presidency.

Militarily, the latest shift of the Democrats seems to be that they don't mind doing military operations, as long as they only have to deploy troops for a few months before pulling back out. Republicans now want to finish the messes they start.

How's that, so far?

Posted by: JG22 on April 7, 2005 12:12 AM

JB, darlin', your initial comment was eat up with the ad hominem in its reasonless Bush-hatin' self, and I didn't hear you mention any constitutional issues for debatin', either. Am I to assume, from everything you left out, that you think Bush is stupid for trampling on the Constitution? If that's the case, why didn't you say so in the first place, stating clear examples for your reasoning, instead of rambling on unintelligibly about mantles and points of view? Your previous comment contained no "call" for any "defense", Constitutional or otherwise.

I think, too, that you will find Rob is less than appreciative regarding the condescension you display towards his oh-so-feeble "understanding" of why he put his list together the way he did. Just a guess, but something tells me Rob won't like that much at all.

Sounds like maybe you could use another beer, hon, and a good night's sleep. Clears the head and improves the faculties...

Posted by: Queenie on April 7, 2005 12:13 AM


My sentence structure makes you angry?

Good God, man, did you graduate from some "Ebonics Speech" high school, or are you just one more "pretend conservative" who cannnot speak proper English?

I love idiotic (greek "idios" for self-absorbed) commentary, because it only justifies what I say.

Donger--note well and carefully--your words did nothing to nullify what I said, they ony proved your ignorance (lack of knowledge).

Which was the purpose of my original posting. I appreciate your justification of what I said, although you do not have a clue you did so.

Unintended consequences. :-) Just wait awhile and Gut will call me an asshole without explaining a shred of logic why he does so, and you will feel all warm and cuddly.

Gramsci ws right, and Americans are the biggest stooges of all.

Dear God, does anyone know history anymore?

Posted by: jb on April 7, 2005 12:14 AM

Further, Bush isn't stupid. Rather, he's a big-time Republicrat panderer. He (or is all of it really Karl Rove?) knows exactly what he's doing, playing his base for fools. The Christian Fundamentalist stuff is just to keep the people who vote purely on religious issues on his side. Makes me have apprehenisons about voting in the next Presidential Election.

Posted by: JG22 on April 7, 2005 12:17 AM

More spooky talk there, dickless. Not imressed. Political distinction?? You really are weak. Say SOMETHING. ANYTHING. You got a serious inferiority complex dude, no shit. You are absolutely incapable of talking like a person in a conversation. Apparently incapable of debate as well. SAY SOMETHING OF SUBSTANCE.....PLEASE. DON'T TELL ME I DON'T UNDERSTAND MY CONSTITUTION....MAKE ME UNDERSTAND! I have a 141 IQ. I'm sure I'm quite capable of understanding or dissecting the fleas off of what ever point hides in your senseless drivel.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:18 AM


Try US Constitution 101

It is obvious you have not done so, yet.


JG22 . . .

In my 20's, I used to experiment to myself with the sort of thinking you just posted publicly.

I grew beyond my immature thinking.

You can, too.

Posted by: jb on April 7, 2005 12:22 AM

Stand back people he has a dictionary! He also has nothing to say.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:27 AM

Okay, JB, what I'm trying to get at can accurately be summed up here:

Sorry if I can't interpret your last post accurately, but what I can gather from it is that my line of thought is apparently stupid, unless I come straight out with a red flag and red beret, yelling about oppression and workers or similar.

Posted by: JG22 on April 7, 2005 12:27 AM

Come on man. Give me some "US Constitution 101"

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:28 AM

I'll settle for some US Constitution 099 if you can muster it up there June Bug.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:29 AM


I can be truly (TRULY) constitutional in my responses, and get everybody pissed off at me, including you, Gut.

Logic demands an argument based some upon the objective premise, not emotional knee-jerk.

Rob, I give you credit, most of your arguments are emotionally-based. You admit that fact. Your groupies simply do not understand the difference between your emotion, and fact.

Their arguments are amusing. The root of the word "amusing" also means "amazing."

Not coincidental . . . :-)

But it is amusing, nonetheless.

Posted by: jb on April 7, 2005 12:39 AM

JB, are you even aware that I wasn't attacking you, I was taking issue with the argument you presented in your original comment? I need "Constitution 101"? For what? You certainly presented no "constitutional" argument to look at...just "Bush is the stupidest stupidhead ever!" What - was I supposed to somehow magically divine the specific constitutional issue for which you dislike George Bush from that?

Political science classes don't deal much in "stupid stupidheads", dear. Even were I to go back to law school, "stupid stupidheads" are off the menu, so to speak.

How 'bout, if we're suggesting areas for continuing education, you go take a simple debate class? If you're trying to make a cohesive argument for anything, you're failing, and badly...nobody can make out what the fuck it is, exactly, you're essaying to say. All we know is a) you don't like Bush, b) you think everyone else besides yourself has a defective education, and c) you think Rob Smith doesn't know his own likes and dislikes.

I'm here, I'm well-educated, I'm old, and I'm ready to argue...when you decide what the fuck it is you're trying to say, and learn how to say it. Let me know when that is, won't you?

Posted by: Queenie on April 7, 2005 12:40 AM

How can you accuse someone of ad-hominem. When you haven't made a point to avoid by attacking you. That's all you've done. MAKE A FUCKING POINT.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:41 AM

QUEENIE, you're turnin' me on.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:44 AM

I calls 'em like I sees 'em, Dongmeister. But thank you.

I'm starting to feel a little ashamed, though. Taking advantage. Like I'm swindling a child. Or, more aptly, beating up a drunk.

Posted by: Queenie on April 7, 2005 12:47 AM

Gimme yer phone number and I'll let you inelligently talk dirty to me!....sorry, I'm a pig. Educated pig, but a pig.....Hey Jelly Belly, where the fuck did you go man....I'm stoked and ready to get my dumb redneck ass some schoolin'....come on, RANT BOY RANT.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:54 AM

Bwahahaha! He sure do got a purdy mouth.

Posted by: Queenie on April 7, 2005 12:56 AM

Yeah, this is gettin old ain't it......OK A-man...what's next?

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 12:56 AM


I still say that you should go fuck (Middle English, from Norman French, circa 947) yourself.

Posted by: Grace on April 7, 2005 01:00 AM

I don't have any of those cute little emoticons but if I did there would be one, blue in color, rolling on his back, shitting his pants, laughing his ass off. So ROFLMFAO....good one Grace.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 01:05 AM

Either Fred Reed's article about the Supreme Court has shocked him into a coma, or his massive inferiority complex has bored him to sleep. Let's give this one up.

Posted by: JG22 on April 7, 2005 01:10 AM

Ahh, thank you Donger. :)

Posted by: Grace on April 7, 2005 01:20 AM

Ok's over, nothing to see here, move along, move along.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 01:21 AM

Aside from JG22's points (the only ones mentioned) That was just Verbal Judo.

Posted by: DONGER on April 7, 2005 01:25 AM

Here's where I'd flip a grenado down the stairwell, and wait for the dust to settle. Then beat the plaster dust outta my hair, and move on to the next target. Only the French eat dead horse.

Posted by: Bane on April 7, 2005 01:30 AM

Good list, Acidman.

JB, you're an asshat. Your arguement makes NO sense. I'm a sophmore with a history & political science double major. Make a point thats worth my reading, please, for once.

Grace, that was hilarious. :-)

Posted by: Alli on April 7, 2005 02:25 AM

If Bush is stupid, and he has spent four years spanking the Democrats and increasing Republican majorities in both houses is STUPID, what does that make his detractors?

Posted by: Impacted Wisdom Truth on April 7, 2005 03:10 AM

I don't normally comment on your political arguments but what I couldn't help noticing about Rob's original post was that Michael Moore must have rattled some cages rather badly to be included. This, I think, would please him greatly.

Posted by: Nelly on April 7, 2005 03:44 AM

Grace and Queenie Win! JB has skipped off into the night with his little prick and his dictionary both firmly gripped in his tiny, but well manicured and work free hands. I enjoyed this post and the comment thread.

Posted by: Florida Bill on April 7, 2005 08:29 AM

Uh, changing the subject...

You can't kick Jacques Chirac in the balls. He doesn't have any.

Posted by: Wooba Gooba on April 7, 2005 08:56 AM

Other than adding yet another traitor to the list, the junior senator from Mass a two shits, John "VietNam *is* my middle name" Kerry. And agreeing with the addition of the afore mentioned Ramsey Clark (also a traitor), I think Robs list is A-J squared away!

Posted by: Guy S. on April 7, 2005 09:26 AM

I have one disagreement in that list above, The United Nations is not a totally stupid idea; namely a forum for countries to publicly air their grievances with regards to other states and attempt to find a peaceful method of resolution (Kofi is however utter shit). The problem is that it was set up poorly, given powers it should never have had, and allowed to grow. The elm has been killed by the kudzu some idiot planted.

Posted by: Mythilt on April 7, 2005 10:34 AM

True critics will attack your argument ... Pretenders will attack you.

Did you attack GWB, or his argument?


Posted by: McGehee on April 7, 2005 11:04 AM

Jeez, anyone got an actual argument besides the Acidman?

Posted by: Brett on April 7, 2005 11:08 AM

"Grace and Queenie Win!"

Well, Queenie gave a thoughtful and intelligent argument. I feel unworthy to be placed in her company cause all I did was put down my Vodka and Fresca long enough to flame off a few insults.

Thank you though. Love you guys.

Posted by: Grace on April 7, 2005 05:52 PM

I'm going to have to go to the Used Book store at the University, and bone up on Law, History, Political Science, Psychology, Speech and Communication, and the Humanities - I've had some difficulty following all this. Course, I just got off work. I'm usually a little brain dead by this time. But I did think that a good teacher probably would have loved to see such liveliness in a classroom, and everyone going their separate ways to either construct or deconstruct their world trying to make sense of it.

Posted by: Bonita on April 7, 2005 06:28 PM

#4: Michael Moore. Jabba The Butt. Do you know what I hate most about him? He believes that HE is brillisnt and everybody else in this country is a complete schmuck. The fact that his propaganda-mentories have been so successful is testimony that he just might be right.

Jeez, after spending 5 minutes reading your incoherent rambling, I thought that you were referring to yourself.

Posted by: David Heidelberg on April 7, 2005 07:20 PM

Oh geez, another one.
Well, I'm sure there are many other blogs you can read in less than five minutes. Maybe some containing one-syllable words. They're easier.

Posted by: Horrabin's Mistakes on April 7, 2005 08:44 PM

David Heidelberg is a well known moonbat troll from Australia, fair bet he found his way here via Tim Blair.

Get the cockroach spray.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 7, 2005 10:04 PM

Henry, Don't be like that. It's so cruel.

Posted by: David Heidelberg on April 8, 2005 06:09 AM

I love the idea of bitch slapping Chirac.
The bitch slap needs to be revived. You only get to see it in old movies anymore. Like Stalag 17 when William Holden bitch slaps the spy. Or In Harm's Way when Kirk Douglas bitch slaps the lame admiral's aide.

Looking up, I see that a few of the posters above could use a bitch slap.

My personal favorite was the nitwit who called Bush, "stupidest".
I bet that was the funnest post he ever writed. More funner than calling him Chimpy McBusHitler.

Posted by: Veeshir on April 8, 2005 06:34 AM

*rolls eyes*

Paint-by-numbers liberal hate cultism.

Posted by: Stewart Kelly on April 9, 2005 11:50 AM
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