Gut Rumbles
 

April 06, 2005

dingleberrys

Yeah, I can't sleep again tonight. I don't think I'm typing very well either, but I could really give a shit right now. Fuck every one of you.

I DO have this to say about dingleberries. Try washing your ass. In my daily ablutions I pay special attenton to three things. I wash my hair. I wash my dick and I wash it as long as I want to. And then I wash my ass very well. I like washed hair, a well-polished dick and a clean ass with no dingleberries.

That's why I have a fucking shower. Okay, maybe I like washing my dick more than I should, but it's MY DICK and MY SOAP and I'll do what I want to with both of them. I don't have dingleberries hanging off my ass, by gawd. Of course I don't have much ass anymore, either, but at least it's clean. I brush my teeth a lot, too.

I am a fanatic about keeping my fingernails and toenails clean and trimmed. I HATE guys who grow nails like talons and have the crust of ages packed under them. I have a foot fetish and I see no reason why men shouldn't trim their toenails and keep a little foot-care going if you like pretty feet on wimmen. But I've seen a lot of guys who had feet that looked like they belonged on a lizard. That's just pure, slack-ass don't care to me.

And any woman who would fuck a man with feet like that needs to be dragged off and shot. She's too desperate to live.

There's my hygene post for the day. Or the night. Whatever.

Comments

You must use that heavenly Charmin Ultra! Funny post. That's funny, I don't care who you are. Somethin about pretty feet on a woman. Like if she takes care of them she probably takes care of the rest.

I think MAEVE's Brazilian wax suggestion is a horrible idea. 'Least for me. God damn that brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Now if a woman wants to wax her undercarriage...cool. Me....fuck no. Don't get me wrong, ain't got no bushy mess down there. But there's other ways to take care of that besides paying to have somebody brutally rip yer short curlies out.

Man I thought I had the cleanest dick in the land. Why my wife caught me "washing" it just last night. No fromunda funk here!.....think I'll go wash it now.

Posted by: DONGER on April 6, 2005 04:41 AM

A-man, thats about the funniest damn thing I've read this morning. Needed that.

I put my back out yesterday and it hurt. But now it hurts like hell!

Posted by: The Wizard on April 6, 2005 09:00 AM

What sort of dirty wierdo ever gets close to having dingleberries? Some people are so sick, it is disgusting.

Posted by: DaveJ on April 6, 2005 09:58 AM

Awwww come on Donger! No guts No glory!!
LOL!

Posted by: Maeve on April 6, 2005 10:26 AM

I knew it! I just knew the minute I read that word in that post that you, Shitblogger Extraordinaire, would not be able to leave it alone.

Funny shit... er stuff Rob. Hope you finally got some sleep.

Paul

Posted by: Light & Dark on April 6, 2005 01:43 PM

People who know my father wonder why I don't have the standard male-pattern bald spot like him. Actually, I do -- it's just not in the usual place.

Which is why I don't get dingleberries anymore.

Posted by: McGehee on April 6, 2005 05:12 PM

You know that recipe for rice chex covered in peanut butter-chocolate sauce and topped off with powdered sugar?

Love that stuff.

Some people call it dog food. See, that's just gross.

I've always called them dingleberries. ; )

Posted by: Key on April 8, 2005 07:35 PM
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