Gut Rumbles
 

April 04, 2005

the eyes of winter

I don't like cold weather and the area around Savannah is busting out in the colors of spring right now. Beautiful dogwoods, multi-colored azealias, Bartlet pear trees, legustrums, and one of my favorites, that nasty weed know as wisteria.

Bejus, but I love wisteria. Those purple flowers smell wonderful and they'll attract every bee within 50 miles. I believe that wisteria juice intoxicates the bees and you can walk right up and catch one in your hand. He won't sting you. He just wants to go back to the wisteria bar.

My first ex-wife used to jump all over me for doing that. "ROB!! You are allergic to honey bee stings! Stop messing with those things!"

I never listened and I never got stung.

I've found some wisteria growing in the woods not far from my house and I'm thinking about diggng up some and planting it in my back yard, just for the color and the aroma. That stuff is a parasitic plant that will kill everything else around it if given a chance, but I want some.

It blinds the eyes of winter.

Comments

wow, Rob, a kinder gentler side.... mmmmmm

Posted by: Kelley on April 4, 2005 03:03 PM

May you have LOTS of wisteria.

Posted by: Bonita on April 4, 2005 03:47 PM

As a transplanted Augusta boy (am in NC now) i miss really grand azaleas. As for wisteria, my Mom used to talk about a restaurant in DC back in the '30s called Wisteria Gardens, where they actually had wisteria hanging over the tables. I always wondered why the patrons didn't get stung by bees while eating. Now I know.

Posted by: rivlax on April 4, 2005 03:56 PM

it blinds the eyes of winter--jeez- you have GIFT!!

Posted by: mikeymom on April 4, 2005 06:04 PM

The biggest problem with wisteria is the root system. It will spread over an entire subdivision, pop out in other people's yards and kill their trees, and destroy plumbing systems and telecommunications cables. I suggest you plant three.

Posted by: Velociman on April 4, 2005 08:08 PM

Damn wisteria. I kill that shit like kudzu whenever I find it. Finally, Rob, something we disagree on.

Posted by: Dennis on April 4, 2005 10:18 PM

Savannah in the springtime. Never mind all of that St. Patty's Day shit - you can get drunk anywhere. But Savannah in the springtime is just plain beautiful.

The Missus and I were there last weekend, paying a visit to the Mistress of Sarcasm, and I'm here to tell you, it was really something.

At least until it rained its ass out that Sunday...

But Rob, that wisteria - look out. It's pretty, but if you give it a chance, it will strangle you and everything you own. Think of it as the "Bloodless Cuntbush."

Posted by: Elisson on April 4, 2005 10:47 PM

I always wanted wisteria when I lived in Minnesota. I have one now in Tucson. It just started blooming this week.

The only thing I wish is that it wouldn't be finished with blooming so fast.

Posted by: Desert Cat on April 6, 2005 01:33 AM
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