Gut Rumbles

April 03, 2005

the real mazool

I've read a lot of razorblogging posts lately, and I think most of them are full of shit. I am amazed by the number of men who do not know the difference between a Straight Razor and a Safety Razor.

You can see a picture of a legitimate straight-razor here. It's almost an exact replica of the one that my grandfather owned and the one I almost cut my face off with one day. You need a steady hand and maximum concentration to handle one of those babies. I wouldn't recommend them for hemophiliacs. I wonder if he has a good leather strop to keep it sharp?

Here is an example a a safety razor. Yeah, it has a razor blade in it, but it comes equipped with a handle and a guard that makes carving your face off a little more difficult. That's what I grew up shaving with, but I always KNEW BETTER than to call one of those a "straight razor."

I shave with Bic disposables now. I own one of those Gillette "Track Fives," which are wonderful razors, except for the fact that the blades cost more than the goddam razor does and I need to change them about every five days. Fuck that.

I carved most of the hair off my face the other day. I used hair clippers to get rid of the beard and I allowed only a thin, dapper-looking moustache to remain. Then, I shaved my face as smooth as a baby's butt. My face resembles a VERY OLD baby's butt, but I'm still going clean-shaven for a while.

It's a gigantic pain in the ass to shave every day, but I have to because I have thick chin-whiskers that grow back quickly. I've heard that some wimmen find that stubbly look sexy, but I don't. I feel as if I'm wearing sandpaper on my face and I wouldn't want to nuzzle a nice set of boobs with a face like that.

So, I'm shaving every day now. If I keep this up, I might even get around to bathing once in a while.


I wouldn't even want to nuzzle a mediocre set of boobs with a face like that.
And I really wouldn't mind nuzzling a mediocre set of boobs ... as long as they are attached to a vibrant female. Of course.
I may be a Dog but I'm not a DOG!

Posted by: BlogDog on April 3, 2005 04:31 PM

When my dad travels, he always tries to find a good old fashioned barbershop and get a shave with a straight razor.

He doesn't need to shave for three days after that.

Try it some time.

Posted by: Grace on April 3, 2005 06:19 PM

aww-but that chin stubble can feel good in regions other than the boobs

Posted by: mikeymom on April 3, 2005 07:34 PM

Fuck those disposables, A-man. Try a "Sensor". I've got three handles stashed in various place ( the shower, my shaving kit, etc) and I love them. The marketing folks at Gillette and Shick aren't stupid. They've known for a very long time they'll make more money selling you blades than they would selling you the handle. Hell, that's why Bill Gates concentrated on software. It's so much more profitable than the hardware.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on April 3, 2005 08:06 PM

I do have a strop, a red russian leather backed with linen.Sharpening a razor is tough, honing it is hard, but stropping it properly is an art. Barbers are a dying breed, that can strop up a fine razor, and one of the finer things in life is a shave by a talented barber. When you sit in that chair, he wraps steaming towels around your face and lathers you up, then carefully scrapes off that beard, you feel like a new man.

Posted by: og on April 3, 2005 09:06 PM

A straight razor is called a "cut throat" razor in Australia. (With good reason!)

The art of stropping and and honing is almost non existent these days, even gent's barbers are using cut throats with a disposable blade.

I like the "sensor" as well, I can get at least 15 good clean shaves out of a blade, and 20 or more if I have spent all my cash on beer.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 3, 2005 11:03 PM

I was surprised a couple of years ago when I wanted to get a real barber's shave. Apparently in the state of NH, you have to get a special license to be able to give a shave with a straight razor. You can give a shave with an electric razor with the normal license but not with a straight razor.

That is a real shame because one of the great pleasures of life is a good barber's shave with the hot wet towels. Sounds almost pornographic!!

Posted by: dick on April 3, 2005 11:13 PM

If you're traveling to another country, it's a lot easier to find a real barber.

Just walk down the street, ask at a shop and they'll point you to one close by. And the fancy hotels' barbers are NOT as good.

Carefully supervise any hair trim though. Dad consistently gets scalped. Which is fun for the rest of us cause we can laugh at him the rest of the trip.

Posted by: Grace on April 4, 2005 01:29 AM

I've shaved with straight razors. Cut myself too. I like the old safety razors. I wouldn't mind having one. Checked out the link and the links on it. Found the site on the old Rolls safety razor. Been wanted to get one of those for a while now. Permanent blade, self sharpening. Wouldn't have to buy a new one ever again. Maybe you should look into getting one of those, Rob.

Posted by: Ray on April 4, 2005 03:22 AM

Yeah, my 16 year old came home yesterday from a run to the store, and announced that he knew what he wanted to do after college - he wanted to sell razor blades. He had just purchased some for his Gillette Mach 3 for the first time (we usually have bought them for him) and figured he had to get in on that racket.

Posted by: Hunter on April 4, 2005 02:44 PM
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