Gut Rumbles

April 01, 2005

i want a piece of the action

Las Vegas puts odds on everything. I want to dump about $100,000 on this bet. Even if the odds are less than 1-to-one, I still stand to make a lot of money.

A thorough analysis of the Koran reveals that the US will cease to exist in the year 2007, according to research published by Palestinian scholar Ziad Silwadi.

The study, which has caught the attention of millions of Muslims worldwide, is based on in-depth interpretations of various verses in the Koran. It predicts that the US will be hit by a tsunami larger than that which recently struck southeast Asia.

I'm willing to bet a lot of money that this doesn't happen. Any takers?


Shit, man. I'm a sick fuck, not a stupid fuck.

Posted by: Adam Lawson on April 1, 2005 10:10 AM

That would be one hell of a tsunami to wipe out the entire continent.

Posted by: Kirk on April 1, 2005 10:57 AM

Just think of all the fun surfers in Malibu will have!

Posted by: Maggie on April 1, 2005 11:05 AM

This will take care of the Social Security mess and the Illegal Alien problem in one fell swoop. I guess we all party like its 1999 from here on out. Screw my 401k and the kids education, it all about living up to my infidel image now...............

Posted by: Billy Budd on April 1, 2005 11:06 AM

The thing is, all a really big tsunami has to do is wipe out enough of one coast, especially the east coast (no offense), to turn things to chaos.

But then, chaos is chaos, not the elimination of the country. It just might as well be, if it's bad enough.

Sounds like that expected landslide off the Canary Islands or wherever.

Posted by: Jay on April 1, 2005 11:11 AM

At least if it wiped out the east coast it would take wash dc with it!!

Posted by: Michele on April 1, 2005 11:20 AM

Let's see,Large tsunami hits the East Coast of the U.S.Wipes out Washington D.C.,New York City,N.J. and Boston.
This would be a bad thing?
Large tsunami hits the West Coast,wipes out L.A. and San Francisco.
I have yet to see the down side of either event

Posted by: Airboss on April 1, 2005 12:18 PM

Considering I live in the US and plan on continuing to do so, I guess you could say I'm betting my life on this dipshit being wrong.

Posted by: Dave D on April 1, 2005 01:33 PM

Excellent. Aren't all the blue staters on the coasts? Time to trim the dead wood.

Posted by: Cythen on April 1, 2005 02:20 PM

What about us that are NOT of the leftish persuasion who happen to live on the East Coast........THAT'S not fair !!

Posted by: MommaBear on April 1, 2005 03:32 PM

Sounds like you have fair warning,maybe this is a reason to move???

Posted by: Airboss on April 1, 2005 04:08 PM

Oh for God's sake, Maggie!!!! Should I expect a Malibu surfer to wash up on my doorstep here in the mountains of Tennessee??? What do I do with the pitiful bastard...shoot him? I certainly don't want him to breed around here!!!

Besides, by 2007, old Silwadi and his region of the world might still be deciding at what point they turn from a liquid back into a solid state.

What a pretty glow that would be...

Posted by: Wayne on April 1, 2005 04:37 PM

When Arabic is translated into any language, it is linguistically difficult to convey the exact duplication of nuiance and word. Also, forget literal interpretations of scripture, as much of Middle Eastern writing is spiritually symbolic, and suited to the specific spiritual paradigms that flavor that part of the world. The tsunami is probably a spiritually destructive wave of massive corrosive impact. This we already see, thank God. Gotta get rid of the old dead wood in the forest to let in new growth, and new light.

Posted by: Bonita on April 1, 2005 06:46 PM

I think the Koran was referring to all of the gushers coming out of the oil wells in the Artic National Reserve. Those should be operating by 07...

Posted by: Carl on April 1, 2005 11:41 PM
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