Gut Rumbles

March 31, 2005

animal lovers

I despise people who call themselves "animal lovers" and I believe that PETA is full of complete moonbat idiots. Hell, we've even got some lawyers today who want to give animals the right to sue in tort court. (they don't really give a shit about animals--- they just see another way to milk the system for lots of dollars.)

I like dogs. I've become fond of goats and chickens. I'll even tolerate an occasional cat, even though I don't like cats. But I damn sure don't "love" all animals. I kill every snake I see and I don't care what kind it is. If I catch a raccoon raiding my garbage can, I'm going to shoot it. I caught a possum eating from the dog food bowl on my back porch one night, and when I yelled "Get outta here!" it bowed up and hissed at me. I shot it dead.

I cannot remember the number of squirrels I have killed with nothing more than a pellet rifle. (Did a few more with a .22, but that was squirrel HUNTING, not varmit control.) I've killed rats, mice, moles, roaches, grackles and waged a constant war against fire ants ever since I owned my own property. If I include the ants, I have taken more life than Hitler ever did and I don't regret one bit of it.

That's why I read this shit and laugh. Somebody from Canada mentioned in a recent comment that the damn harp seals are overpopulated and eating all the cod that fishermen depend on for their livelihood. So, people are going to thin them out a bit, and "animal lovers" immediately went into cardiac arrest at the very idea.

Thousands of seal hunters armed with clubs, rifles and spears are taking part in one of Canada's biggest ever culls.

The hunt is expected to bring poor coastal communities millions of dollars but has been condemned by animal rights activists as barbaric.

Of course "animal rights activists" feel that way. It is much better for people to starve to death than it is to kill a baby seal. That's the way these twisted fuckers THINK.

But the Canadian government said the hunt brought badly needed income to its coastal communities, which earned about £7.2 million last year, primarily from pelt sales to Norway, Denmark and China.

Canada's Department of Fisheries and Oceans said the country's seal population was "healthy and abundant," and noted there were an estimated 5 million harp seals, nearly the highest level ever recorded and almost triple what it was in the 1970s.



Call me callous all you want to, but when you have five million seals eating up your food fish supply and the seals are worth serious MONEY for their pelts, I say go kill off a few hundred thousand. Maybe a million. Club them, shoot them, stab them or whatever. Skin their asses right there in the snow.

Is seal meat any good to eat? I've never tried it, but I would if the menu mentioned that it was a genuine piece of hand-clubbed, baseball-bat tenderized Canadian seal, killed brutally and shipped fresh to the restaurant I was sitting in. Yeah, gimme a prime cut.

I've seen hogs and cows killed and butchered. I ate the meat, too, and I never had a single nightmare about it. What I DON'T understand is people who seem to think dumb animals are more important than human children. I see a really fucked-up priority system there. Allow the seal to live, but let little Johnny starve.

Yeah. That's being a real "animal lover."


My husband raised a sheep & a pig in high school. He has a before, during and after photos of the slaughter of the lamb he had raised.
I personally don't like clubbing. To me that is cruel, a good clean shot is much kinder.

Posted by: Maeve on March 31, 2005 10:45 AM

Hey, I'm an animal lover.

I love grilling them up alongside some nice fixins, then tossing their tasty selves back with a bottle of Bass, or in the case of certain cute, lovable (and medium rare) animals, a pint of Guinness.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on March 31, 2005 10:54 AM

They don't call it the "food chain" for nothing.
Oops, sorry, that was when I was a kid, before P.C.

Posted by: Dan Pursel on March 31, 2005 11:53 AM

To hell with putting them on the menu, they should sell seal clubbing tour packages.
Hand me a big bertha and let me work on my golf swing....

Posted by: Graumagus on March 31, 2005 12:10 PM

I am a huge animal lover...but it's tempered with a whole lot of common sense. I may not 'love' all animals...but I can't think of any that I'd want to see killed needlessly. The seal cull is a sad, but NECESSARY part of life, as is most animal testing and research.

People that think that animals are somehow 'worth' more than humans make me laugh. The same thing goes for animal 'collectors' who take in dozens of animals because they believe they're doing the animals a favor and 'saving' them and give them a better home. I'm sorry but honestly...if your home smells like cat and dog piss and the yard is simply one large doggie landmind field, you're seriously fucked in the head and perhaps YOU should be culled from the herd LOL.

Posted by: Chablis on March 31, 2005 12:22 PM

You forgot fucking deer. Man are they a pain in the ass. My place north of Steamboat is deadly after dusk with these varmits all over the roads. Can't kill them fast enough.

Cooked right, they're quite tasty. My favorire is stew or jerked.

Posted by: MM on March 31, 2005 04:28 PM

Hey Rob - just an off hand thought. You've had dogs before. Why not get one now, to share the bachelor pad? Might help with the casual woman search too, don't ye know. The old 'dog by the fire' attraction.

Posted by: outfoxed on March 31, 2005 04:54 PM

Along the lines of Mr. Lion.....There's a place in world for all of God's creatures, right next to the mashed potatoes.

Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy on March 31, 2005 05:21 PM

I've got to agree with the comment that MM left. Deer are a pain. You can't drive in certain places back in PA where I grew up without seeing at least three deer off the side of the road at night outside of town. One of my brothers totalled a car when a deer jumped out in front of him. As far as PETA goes, sorry folks I'm not going to become a vegetarian. I like my burgers and steaks too much, and deer chops are a damn fine meal!

Acidman, I think you might like the lryics to this song because this post reminded me of it. Let me know if you would like me to send an MP3 of it out to you:

Band: M.O.D. (Method of Destruction)
Song: Clubbin' Seals
From the CD: Loved by Thousands...Hated by Millions

Let's go way up north
And grab a case of beer
What we like to do for fun
Can't be done down here (damn right)
Observe the bumper sticker
On the back of my four wheels
I don't care what you like to do
I'd rather be clubbin' seals (YEEHAW)

I'd rather be clubbin' seals
It's my favorite kind of fun
Got a mind to join a club
And bash another one (that's right)
They're all so cute and cuddly
Till they're floppin' round in blood (sing it son)
I don't care what you like to do
I'd rather be clubbin' seals

Clubbin' seals
Clubbin' seals
Well I'd sell my truck
When I'm down on my luck
I'd rather be clubbin' seals
Don't eat their meat for dinner
Just sell their hides for cash
I love to see their brains go splash

Some people say I'm crazy
Some people say I'm cruel
Perhaps they'd rather see the seal
Starve from lack of food
When time for vacation comes
You know where I'll be
Killin' defensless animals
Listen while I sing

Clubbin seals
Clubbin seals
Well I'd sell my truck
When I'm down on my luck
I'd rather be clubbin seals
Don't eat their meat for dinner
Just sell their hides for cash
I love to see their brains go splash

I'd rather be clubbin' seals

Posted by: Mike on March 31, 2005 06:40 PM

I remember Dennis Leary went off about this, and said something along the lines of "I don't care how much you say you love animals, and how you could never ever hurt them, because if you were ever lost up in a bitterly-freezing arctic region of the world, and were cold as an icebox, you would kill a baby harp seal with a plastic picnic spoon just so you could crawl inside its carcass and feel the warmth of REAL FUR."

This never gets old: "How many innocent vegetables had to die to make your stupid salad??"

Posted by: JG22 on March 31, 2005 06:57 PM

I'm an animal lover and a member of PETA.

Posted by: Circa Bellum on March 31, 2005 08:55 PM

Here's a link you can sink your teeth into, Rob. It contains two of the things that make your bile rise: (1) cute helpless animal (a bunny); and (2) a very successful PayPal link.

But please, Rob, dig down into the bottom of that heart that I KNOW you must possess and click on that PayPal button so Toby (cute, helpless bunny subject of the site) can live.

Remember, only YOU have the power to SAVE TOBY!

Joni ;-)

P.S. Believe it or not, I found this link at the WordPress support forums. Go figure!

Posted by: Joni on March 31, 2005 11:37 PM

Some people simply have a bad case of fucked-up priorities.

I dealt with that issue in a post I wrote a while back...

Posted by: Elisson on March 31, 2005 11:54 PM

I am SO going to hell for laughing at that Save Toby website LOL

Posted by: Chablis on April 1, 2005 11:08 AM

this comment is probably a bit late but, i am not an animal rights activist but cruelty does become an issue when you get little kids running around trying to club the most seals. what then happens is that you get thousands of seals slowly dying an agonising death because the kids dont have the strength and/or the sense to finish the seals off.

Posted by: samir on November 5, 2008 04:45 PM
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