Gut Rumbles

March 30, 2005

i won't miss him

Barrister Johnnie Cochran went to that great courthouse in the sky. I thought the man was a huckster, a hustler and a self-aggrandizing swine--- all traits that make for a successful lawyer.

I actually watched a lot of the O.J. Simpson trial (who didn't?) and I was impressed with Cochran's ability to distort the truth, play the race card and stomp all over judge Lance Ito, who has to be one of the weakest judges I ever saw in a black robe. I blame the prosecution for fucking up their end of the business more than I give Cochran credit for acquitting an obviously guilty killer, but Cochran did what he was hired to do.

He became rich and famous for doing things that are beyond my conscience. Of course, I find it difficult to use the words "conscience" and "lawyer" in the same sentence.

Goodbye, Johnnie.


I won't miss him either, but I hafta admit... it kinda floored me. I didn't even know he was (physically) sick.

I saw that and said "He did WHAT? Wow..."

"If you do not breathe, you must leave."
That should be his epitaph.

Posted by: Stevie on March 30, 2005 11:32 AM

But Rob, don't you wish the evil bastard was YOUR divorce attorney?

Posted by: Bill Dennis on March 30, 2005 11:46 AM

One down, many more to go.

Posted by: Jack on March 30, 2005 11:57 AM

Yeah, Bill. He could have told the judge, "She's a cunt, so you must punt," or something equally as impressive.

He probably would have cost me less money in the long run, too.

Posted by: Acidman on March 30, 2005 11:59 AM

Hey... this is off-topic for this entry, but I just wanted to say that I like your blog, and will probably check it out every day now.

I came across your blog while doing a Google search for '+"playing guitar" +"blisters"'

Posted by: Staceman on March 30, 2005 12:48 PM

Good way of putting it with Judge Ito. He had very poor control of his court and almost seemed to become too enamoured of being on TV. Weak indeed.

Posted by: Jay on March 30, 2005 01:22 PM

rotfflmfao @ "She's a cunt, so you must punt."

Jeezus, Rob...
Kill me why don'tcha?

(God, I love you... *slithers outta chair, laughing*)

Posted by: Stevie on March 30, 2005 02:18 PM

We have had some very morbid and funny responses to the great Litigator's death on the Juggernut...

Posted by: Yarbz on March 30, 2005 03:47 PM

If the shoe don't fit you must not give a s%#t.

Posted by: Jim on March 30, 2005 04:11 PM

Everyone becomes a saint when dead. Christ! Do you remember when Nixon died? Everyone rolled out to shed a tear for the bastard...

Posted by: Tulip on March 30, 2005 06:49 PM

A lawyer is a low form of life.

Their major job is is obscure the truth. The clever ones use the law as a club to beat up (rob) less clever people or people who don't know the law. All normal people understand that lawyers are scum. (First kill all lawyers -Shakespeare; Lawyers Dwell on Small Details-Bonnie Raith; Don't put your faith in a backwoods country lawyer. The judge in the town has a lot of things on his mind-Some country singer.)

Look at any legal action. The lawyers do things that in almost any other venue would be considered unethical and amoral. They do this everyday.

I could go on, but you get the idea. I despise lawyers and what they do.

Imagine, a lawyer with a guilty client (rape, murder, whatever) will plead his client innocent and try to get him off by being clever or appealing to the jury's racism. This IS NOT CONDEMNED. It is normal behavior.

Imagine. A defendent chooses to not plead guilty and the prosecutor punishes him for this affront by charging him with a more serious crime.

Imagine: A man is accused of a crime (rape?). His face is plastered all over the newspaper. He must spend $$$ to defend himself. If found innocent, he may be left with a ruined personal life, a ruined professional life, and a mountain of debt. Then, he may face a civil suite over the same incident.

This is what the lawyers who run our system of justice call fair.

Lawyer's joke: What do you have when you have 500 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start.

Posted by: Joel on March 30, 2005 10:33 PM

Fuck, Joel, the majority of the pricks in DC are attorneys....The fuckers are kinda like wimmen, can't live with 'em, can't do without them....
JD is a license to fuck poor boy.
And I still need one...
Any pro bono regular attys alive?

Posted by: murry on March 31, 2005 03:21 AM
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