Gut Rumbles

February 20, 2005

my dick

I miss the equipment I was born with, because I was hung like a horse. I hope I passed that gene along to my son. He can enjoy it now that I can't. But I AM NOT LYING when I say that many wimmen saw me for the first time and said, "Oh. My. God."

That prostate cancer shit ruined a good thing for me. I was totally limp for 19 months before I got my implant, and I really hoped that the bionic Roscoe would restore what I once possessed naturally. It didn't.

Oh, it works okay, and I've never had a woman complain, but it's just not what it once was. I DREAM about having my old dick back. Most wimmen I've been with since the implant are really fascinated by the plumbing I carry now. Yes, I have THREE BALLS --- four if you want to find the on-off device buried among all those tubes and hydrolics stuck in my nutsack.

I wear this stuff every day and it's uncomfortable. I'd rather have it than not, since I remember vividly those 19 months with a totally dead dick, but I would rather have the old equipment back. But you make choices in life and you live with them.

I'd sell my soul to the devil tonight to have the dick I once had again.


You know Acidman, that post makes me want to bang as many women as possible while I still can.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Posted by: rightisright on February 20, 2005 08:37 PM

Who was it that told me something about things you can't control?? I guess tomorrow I find out how much I'll be able to control.

Posted by: Michele on February 20, 2005 09:25 PM

I had a bilateral masectomy about 15 years ago. I wouldn't have been able to make that statement (or any statement for that matter) if I hadn't had it done. I am still me even without my original equipment. Michele, are you listening????

Posted by: NBC on February 21, 2005 02:07 AM

That's gotta be the pisser of pissers.

Posted by: MM on February 21, 2005 12:05 PM

You are one frank and open man. I keep liking this blog more and more. I was away for the weekend visiting with my daughters and I've been ages catching up. As we say here in NI - sorry for your trouble.

Posted by: Nelly on February 21, 2005 02:55 PM

Can I qoute you on that?

Posted by: Satan on February 21, 2005 03:58 PM

Jima, was your dad in the Coast Guard? 'Cause after he broke that thing he was definitely "semper paratus (always ready)."

Posted by: McGehee on February 21, 2005 04:43 PM

No, he was in the Navy, WW2 vet...Ur right though, he was always ready, or at least parts of him were....

Posted by: JimA on February 21, 2005 05:23 PM

Get back with me off-line if you want an off the wall theory on genetics as related to Roscoe size.

Posted by: Oran Woody on February 21, 2005 05:37 PM
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