Gut Rumbles

February 10, 2005

it's criminal

I rant frequently about the fact that we have too many laws in this country and nanny-government is sucking the freedom right out of every one of us. But EVEN I sometimes say, "there oughta be a law!"

Check this. That once was a web site that I liked to visit. It ain't anymore. Spammers shut it down.

The same thing has happened to other bloggers and it almost got me and velociman, too. Spammers have crashed servers, fucked up emails, overwhelmed blogs, hogged bandwidth that they don't pay for and otherwise behaved like vandalistic swine all over blogdom. That shit should be a criminal offense.

I don't see any difference between a fucking low-life spammer and some homeless prick who just decides to move into your house and live there rent-free, eat all your groceries, drink all your beer and then burn your goddam house down when you run out of food. If a bum invades your house and decides to live there without your permission, you can call the cops and have his ass hauled away to a nice cell.

We should be able to do the same thing to spammers. They are PARASITES and VANDALS. They aren't just annoying, like a rash around your nutsack. They are DESTRUCTIVE and utterly without conscience. They are thieves and pimps. They are the fucking scum of the internet. They are worse than any dope-dealer I ever knew. We need to rid the world of them.

Bejus forgive me for saying this, but we need a FEDERAL LAW that makes serial spamming a criminal offense punishable by steep fines and lengthy prison sentences. Anybody who knows dick about the internet can find where these people are coming from. Do it. Arrest them, confiscate all their property, lock them up and use the confiscated wealth to PAY the people they spammed as reparations for damage done.

I'd prefer to drag them off and shoot them like diseased animals, but that would be an insult to diseased animals. (Although... if I ever get a shot at "Bob" or "Top," you can bet your sweet ass that I'm gonna take it.) Buncha pukes.

I'm serious about this idea. If we're going to lock Martha Stewart up, menace to society that SHE is, then we ought to be able to find some jail space for spammers. Martha didn't STEAL from anybody. Spammers do.

Make an example out of one or two of these shit-bags and that may discourage others. If that doesn't work, make examples out of the others, too. This shit has GOT to stop. And as much as I hate to say it, government is the entity that can get the job done.

This is a more serious problem than second-hand smoke, and government just pisses its pants wanting to attack THAT. Let government do some fucking GOOD for a change. Plus, there's REVENUE in it, because the big-time spammers make a lot of money. THAT should interest the government. See? It's a win-win deal. The spammers go away and the government makes money. That's better than firing tasers at 10 year-old boys, the way a lot of cops like to do now.

Go after the spammers.


Thanks, Rob. I'll be back, once things calm down some.

Posted by: Stoney on February 10, 2005 05:30 PM

I've always had a fantasy of writing a book about a computer geek who becomes a vigilante, hunting down and killing spammers & spyware authors (and virus authors). It could sell a million copies, and I could get rich! And I can visualize being interviewed by the media. "Aren't you afraid this book may give people ideas to actually go out and kill spammers et al?" And I'd say, "I'm not giving them any ideas they don't have already!"

Posted by: Chico on February 10, 2005 05:38 PM

Speaking of which, come read my website today!

Posted by: dipnut on February 10, 2005 06:58 PM

For Ghod's sake, Rob, have you lost your your friggin' mind? We DO NOT need the -spit- government -spit-TOOHEY involved AT ALL! They'll just screw it up, likely require every internet user to spam or something just as bad.
I think another solution is better; charge to send email. It doesn't have to be outrageous, say a penny an email, if you send more than 100 emails a day. ISP's could compete on how many they let you send for free.

Posted by: Terry on February 11, 2005 12:12 AM

Stoney, if I recall, you were running Moveable Type? If you'd like some help beating the spammers on your setup, drop me a note.

There's no way we should let the cocksuckers win by knocking you out, even for a short while.


Posted by: Light & Dark on February 11, 2005 04:37 AM

Georgia Spammer Hunting License - no bag limit.

But if you get it, I'll have to remember not to go to Georgia for having put the above link on your blog.

Posted by: Aaron's Rantblog on February 11, 2005 12:10 PM
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